The Journey of Change and Transformation to Get Results

get results: closer to goal
get results: closer to your goal

These 12 points should be considered when embarking on any journey of change or transformation for the individual.

  1. Start as early as possible. Your future ideal is looking back at your present decisions and actions judgingly.
  2. Plan the best journey you can (given the knowledge you have).
  3. At least consider/research alternatives -to assess which is the best route. If you just set off prematurely you might be going in completely the opposite direction to what you should be going, and will require you to backtrack later, wasting lots of time and effort. Remember, the shortest route between two points is a straight line. Don’t panic if you have set off prematurely, learn from it and get back on track.
  4. You don’t need to know everything when you start out, the journey is partly (even mainly) about growing into the type of person who can complete it, through acquired knowledge learned from the journey itself.
  5. The journey may have lots of distractions, or temptations, always keep one eye on the destination. When making decisions between choices, make sure moving closer to the destination is the deciding factor.
  6. Expect obstacles, they will teach you something about your journey. Consider them a missing part of your plan. Learn from them, they may crop up again further down the road, and you’ll know what to do next time. Some obstacles may even be fun to problem solve.
  7.  Enjoy the journey whenever you can. It’s the thing that is going to take up most of your time. You’re less likely to pursue a goal that requires a dull, uncomfortable, or unenjoyable journey. Sometimes you have no choice, but when you do, pick wisely.
  8. The worry of fear is often an exaggerated version of the thing itself. The mind plays tricks to instinctively keep us safe. Think it through, what is the worst that could happen, and is that outcome really that bad?
  9. Listen to that off-putting part of you thoroughly before going any further, negotiate a satisfying resolution (in good faith), so it doesn’t keep popping up, and using up your energy and resolution. All parts of you should be 100% committed to the journey, so setbacks don’t end things later (wasting more of your time).
  10. Have 3 or 4 good arguments for undertaking the journey to begin with, so that counterarguments don’t get the upper hand. If 40% of you is against the journey, then the remaining 60% is having to pull against this anchor, requiring more expenditure of energy. If 60% is against your journey/ goal/ destination, you’re not going to even try. Do you really want to get to the destination enough? Do you have a big enough reason or enough reasons?
  11. Is completion of the journey a matter of life or death, very important, not really important at all? Get this straight in your mind. ‘Life and death’ is a big enough reason on its own, and you better get on with it. With ‘very low importance’, obviously not so much, but why not give it a go anyway, it might be fun and a great learning opportunity, since you have nothing to lose either way. Value being a lifelong learner.
  12. Once you reach your destination, you’ve got your next journey to navigate. Life is made up of many journeys and these will make up the dash between your birthday and the date of death on your gravestone (final destination of this life at least). We have one life (that we know about for sure), so make the most of it, while you can. But remember, it’s not just about hedonistic pleasure, it’s about making things better for others as well.

Learn the Lessons From Different Points Of View

Get Results: self awareness helps you learn
Get Results: self awareness helps you learn

Have you ever wondered why people have such different points of view, particularly with regard to political opinions?

It’s really not the case that “the other side” lacks intelligence, has no morals, or are just loonies.

It really comes down to personality traits – the temperamental inclinations we are born with.

Pre-cognitive screening means the world  actually presents itself differently to us, and not that we see the same thing and ignore some aspects and accept others. We don’t see the same things to begin with.

We can only pay attention to a limited set of things at any moment, in terms of their utility to us, and most things go unnoticed. My temperament dictates what I pay attention to, which is likely to be different to what you pay attention to. Sure there’ll be some overlap at times, but often we are seeing very different realities.

There will be some situations and problems which I will be better suited to deal with because of my temperament, and there will be other situations and problems, where you’re temperament will be better.

We each are a broader resource for the other.

We are more effective working together, to solve problems, than each of us are alone.

The battle between the political left and right is a necessary aspect of society because the two opposing forces push and pull against each other, and will probably give us a better version of society than a society under complete influence of one side or the other.

So, it can feel like a lot of effort to deal with the idiosyncrasies of people we don’t naturally agree with, but actually, they may be able to teach us something that doesn’t come easily to us.

It may be better to listen to people with different points of view and ideas, to see what you can learn from them, rather than dismiss them as foolish or idiotic, because you may well be the foolish one.

Take Responsibility For The Story Of Your Life

Get results: take responsibility
Get results: take responsibility

What’s the story of your life to this point?

What’s the story going to be from this point onward?

The future doesn’t have to reflect the past unless you want it to.

The first chapter of your life might have been full of strife and struggle; the next can be about how you overcome such adversity, following the hero’s journey.

You get to write your own story. It could be one with many twists and turns, ups and downs. A three vs. zero defeat in the first half of a football match, sets up the opportunity for an amazing comeback in the second half.

You get to write the script from now on, It’s your right as well as your responsibility. Okay there’s going to be unexpected occurrences that come from left field, but you choose how you deal with them.

Arm yourself with the right tools:  good reasoning capabilities, critical thinking, emotional control, and the desire to listen to your conscience for guidance.

Aim for “love” and “truth” for yourself and others. Armed with these two, you cannot be defeated. No amount of hate or lies is ever enough to defeat you, an apparent defeat may appear to contradict, but conscience will always point out the right path.

Do you think you can twist reality, because that is what you’re trying to do with lies. You certainly can not. Your lie will not go unnoticed, your future ideal self is always judging your actions and your conscience is pricking you if you’re not on track to live up to you ideals.

Are you living up to your ideals? Your lies twist your perceptions of reality, they don’t twist actual reality. Overtime you lose trust in yourself, and only truth can straighten things out again.

Maintain an Open Mind to Keep Learning

Get Results: Knowledge requires accurate information
Get Results: Knowledge requires accurate information

 

Dismissing the opinions of people you don’t agree with is not very intelligent.

Positioning yourself to win an argument closes you off from learning new, possibly important, information.

Holding tightly on to a position means you’re overlooking alternative perspectives, which may significantly improve your knowledge.

Different perspectives can be right or wrong depending on context at different times. Dismissing one approach at the expense of another without full consideration is a lazy, unsophisticated way of thinking, and can be very dangerous.

Open your mind to hear all views, engage in discussion to thrash out ideas in full.

This is the sophisticated, grown up way of finding the best approaches and solutions.

If you can’t debate your point against an alternative, maybe you’ve not fully fleshed it out yet, or maybe it’s just a bad idea.

Better for it to fail early while it’s still just an idea, rather than failing later with real-world consequences, for you and possibly other people.

You Have A Superpower: The ability To Change The Future

Get Results: make your journey as engaging as your goal
Get Results: make your journey as engaging as your goal

You have a superpower, the ability to change the future.

Changing thoughts, changes actions, your thoughts don’t define you, they are like clouds, you are the sky. Make thoughts serve you, rather than use you.

Actions you do repeatedly become habits, replace your bad habits with productive habits, small daily changes compound over time, years later providing exponential returns.

First set your sights on the highest possible good, for the betterment of you and yours today and into the future, as well as for the betterment of your society, you can have no better goal than that.

Orient yourself towards the good, towards love, be the hero of your own journey, of your own story, strive to make yourself the ideal you aspire to be.

Then focus on the daily habits that move you towards that ideal, day by day, action by action, connect your actions today to your ideal future self, like lining up dominos, each toppling the next, building momentum, with increasing inertia, makes it easier over time.

Sacrifice part of the present for the future, otherwise you’ll be sacrificing the future for the present.

Negotiate with yourself and make it work, you’re not your own servant, be kind to yourself.

Make the day ahead the best it can be while being as productive as possible, it’s a marathon not a sprint, and consistency is key.

The journey of a thousand steps, starts with just one, then one more … .

Use regret of unfulfilled potential drive you forward, while a worthwhile goal pulls you towards it.

Master the ability to get results, again and again.

Be The Hero of Your Own Story

Get Results: love the journey
Get Results: love the journey

Better results come out of better actions, which come out of better thoughts, so mindset makes all the difference. You become the consequence of your thinking.

Fix your goal on who you want to be in 5 years, then craft a path towards that destination.

Make the journey as meaningful as you can, because it is the journey that will consume your time and attention, and these two resources can’t be repeated or replaced, they are consumed and finite.

You are the hero of your own journey, a transformation from who you are into who you aspire to be, not just for you and yours today, but for you and yours into the future.

The secret is in doing it for the betterment of society. While society can be corrupt and tyrannical, it is also a safe space to grow in. Outside of its protective embrace is the dragon of chaos.

Each individual who values rights must also accept responsibilities to move their society closer to God and away from the Devil. You have the power in your Being, and you have work to do.

Don’t fall by the wayside, don’t be a contributor to evil, don’t shun your responsibly, don’t settle for being king of the lost.

You may not be religious, but the divine is part of what you are.

Carry the love in your heart into future generations. They will be tomorrows custodians of this great planet we call home. Don’t short-change your children, and your children’s children. You owe them the chance to live their own hero’s journey, to pass love forward, to make the world a better place to live and thrive.

You have your challenge, stand up and accept the meaning that comes from this great responsibility.

The Present Isn’t Good Enough

Get Results: move closer to your goal
Get Results: move closer to your goal

Present circumstances aren’t satisfactory. There’s better to be had, a better place to aim for, to head towards, to move in the direction of, a goal to aspire to, that’s worth the effort, that gets you out of bed in the morning, that pulls you towards it, that overcomes your self-doubts and lack of confidence, that diminishes any fears, a goal containing yet to be realised potential, a future full of opportunity, a place you want to go that’s better than where you are now. More at getresults.org.uk/tag/goal-setting/

Get Results: Knowledge, Motivation, Productivity

Get Results: acquire knowledge, be motivated, be productive
Get Results: acquire knowledge, be motivated, be productive

Get results by taking the Hero’s journey, a journey of self-discovery, a journey of looking into the unknown to extract the knowledge that undoubtedly lurks there, updating the map used to orient yourself in the world, making yourself a force to content with, possessing a sharpened mind, an articulate persuasive communication style, which wins over minds without having to resort to tyranny to garner support. This journey of transformation, is both an internal and external process of overcoming, of moving beyond, getting around, of jumping over some limitation, some obstruction, or obstacle, needing to improve in three areas –knowledge, motivation and productivity.

Think As An Empowered Individual

Get Results: take responsibility
Get Results: take responsibility

Social change

We seem to be in a more polarised world than ever before, and tribalism appears to have been getting more popular over the last few years in the Western world.

We humans are social animals who function in a social world where competition and cooperation is a necessary component of a well-functioning society.

We all have to agree the rules of the social game, and then cooperate in playing a functioning role within that game, otherwise the fabric of society falls away, and nobody in their right mind wants that to happen, because anarchy and chaos replaces order and civility.

Our ancestors lived in smaller, more isolated communities and would mainly connect to other people in their shared geographical space, looking out for their neighbours.

But as populations have exploded, and mobility has increased, those local communities have largely been swept away and we’re now part of a more fluid, globalised world thanks to technological advances. It’s much easier to connect with other people through shared interests, ideas, beliefs and values. We may be connected with people from the other side of the world, yet not know who our neighbours are.

Tribalism and increased sense of self

There is a growing number of people in the population who take their identity from their affiliations; they see themselves as Labour or Tory, Democrats or Republicans, or part of a wider movement with a shared purpose, often to remove inequality from a corrupt social system. Other people are no longer seen as unique personalities with individual traits, thoughts, and values, they are either seen as “one of us” or “against us”. Thinking in this way eases cognitive burden but is a gross oversimplification of reality.

It’s important to understand the mechanics that drive tribalism.

At an individual level part of us likes to bring people, possessions, ideas and conceptual positions into what is best described as our sense of self (SOS). That part of us, often referred to as the Ego likes to think the more we’re connected to, and the more we possess, the more we elevate our self-worth. If we share interests or circumstances with others, and we like them, we will probably connect with them.

On the other hand, if we don’t connect with someone and take a dislike to them, we tend to separate from them by psychologically distancing from them. We also do this to increase our sense of self. If we take a critical view of another person, we’re immediately implying we’re superior to them.

So we lower the others (the other side) to inflate our own sense-of-self, or we inflate our sense-of-self through attachment and affiliation, and this lifts us above others (the other side).

This results in the formation of in-groups and out-groups.

So at an Ego level we’re trying to increase our sense of self by both connecting to and separating from other people.

As social animals we’d generally rather get on with others than not, but that’s just not possible with so many different personalities in play.

We need social connections because it protects us from what would otherwise be a chaotic and anarchical world. By cooperating in a competitive environment, we function without fear of being harmed or killed (most of the time). This psychologically frees us up to strive for personal growth. We can strive to climb social hierarchies in a mutually beneficial way as long as everyone else agrees to cooperate. Even though there are other people with vastly differing views and opinions, they can still participate in the same game, as long as they agree to play by the same rules. We can all agree to disagree with some things, but still cooperate in the overarching social game.

Collectivism can also make us feel more courageous. Psychologically making us less culpable if things go wrong, because the group shares the risks and responsibilities. It feels safer when we’re working with others in pursuit of a shared goal, as someone else can step up in situations where we feel less confident.

Collectives often result in people pointing fingers of blame at others, usually “the other side”, or rely on others within the group to come up with solutions. There are invariably those within the group who will take on leadership roles, and the rest follow in support.

A responsible individual

Rather than having a collectivist mindset, we should function predominantly on an individual level.

You should take personal responsibility for your actions and outcomes. Stop relying on other people, including other in-group members, and stand up and take action for yourself. Sure it’s harder to do, it feels scary at first, but it’s the right thing to do, because it forces you to stand up to your own challenges, and this arms you with the tools and skills to be an individual with real personal power.

Stop blaming others for your situation or complaining how others have caused you this problem and that problem. Blaming and complaining only disempowers you, it gives you an excuse not to take action for yourself. Passing blame passes power. Only when you take full responsibility for your own situation, are you able to empower yourself to make things better. What’s more, you should first put your own house in order before concerning yourself with wider societal issues.

We must also stop focusing attention on our differences with other people and start looking for our shared humanity. We can enrich our lives through genuine empathy and compassion for people who come from different backgrounds, cultures, and life experiences.

We should try to learn from each other’s unique experiences, by being curious, rather than closed-minded. After all, we are naturally exploratory creatures, and curiosity is part of what makes us human.

Open communication through dialogue, we all have stories to tell about our experiences, sharing these will help bring us together. It’s not just about telling your story, listen to other people’s stories, so you can learn something new from them.

Find out more about taking responsibility here.

Finding Meaning in Life; Something Worth Doing

Get Results: belief
Get Results: belief

Meaning is determined by the beliefs we hold.

What should we believe?
What beliefs are worth investing in?
What beliefs should we avoid?

What we are all trying to do is satisfy our biological needs today and in the future, for ourselves and family and more widely for society.

Why society, because if society is not functioning well, chaos and anarchy could be just around the corner and that’s not good for us or our family’s futures.

You can either ignore problems society has or do your part to make society better. You don’t have to make a huge, life-changing contribution, but just be nice to others rather than nasty.

Be a positive influence to those around you rather than a negative influence.
Link your behaviour – including what you say and do – with what kind of world you want for yourself and family in the future.

Don’t get suckered into ideologies–which only tell part of the full story of the world. The full story comprises the good and bad of…
• The Knower–we are the “knowers”. A mix of good and bad, persona and shadow.
• The known–“society/culture” . The protector against chaos on the one hand and tyrannical on the other.
• The unknown– “nature”. The life giver and life taker.
All these elements make up the whole of life experience.

What you do really matters! You have a greater impact on others than you might think. You can use your power for good or bad.

If you take a pathological path – you will have taken away from the world, rather than contributed to making it a better place.

What positive impact have you had on others?

If you try to spread love rather than hate, you make a huge difference to your life and that of other people. If others love you, then you must have positively impacted their life in some sense. This is a big deal. Just a smile or a kind word can make a vast difference to the receiver. If you help an elderly neighbour, you make a huge difference to them.

You don’t have to make a big difference to a lot of people; just one other person is enough. If you’re nice to one other person, that may put them in a better mood and they may be nicer to others as a result, and so positivity can spread very quickly.

The opposite is also true; your boss shouts at you, you shout at your kids, they kick the cat. You have surely experienced how negativity can impact your own life; when one person makes a nasty comment to you, it can really spoil your day. Negativity can really linger.

Don’t be king of the lost boys or queen of the lost girls. If you interact with other people who are not helping themselves, others and society, don’t aid and abet them. Don’t use other people as an excuse not to be as good as you can be.

Try to reach across the divide with people who are not like you, who have different opinions or affiliations, even people you see as your enemies. Don’t fall into divisive in-groups and out-groups. Division is bad in all situations. Sure it’s easier to get on with those with similar ideas, it’s much harder to do so with those of differing opinions, but we must try.

We humans are more similar than we are different. We have much more in common than we think we do. All people generally have a desire for pleasure and a need to avoid pain and suffering, but we differ in our strategies to achieve those goals.

We need to understand and empathise with other people who have different ways of thinking. Find some way of connecting with those people. If they are so ingrained with hate for your position, then don’t throw hate back at them, that’s just an Ego defence response. It will not work, hate only creates more hate, only love can defeat hate. Your responsibility is to shine light into the darkness.

Take on this responsibility where you currently are. Don’t wait for a future time, state, circumstance or situation. Do it with your next social interaction. Be a light in someone else’s life. You’re walking down the street – smile at people who you walk past you from the opposite direction, or say a friendly “hello”.

Don’t get annoyed with them, if they don’t reciprocate. You’re not doing it for what you get back from others, you’re doing it be a positive influence on your environment. This may seem strange at first, but eventually it will become habit.

Have a positive energy, have a kind word to say to others. If you’ve nothing nice to say, say nothing, because that’s better than saying something nasty.

Do something nice for others. If you don’t do something nice, then certainty don’t do something bad.

Go out of your way to help others. If you can’t, then avoid doing anything to harm or hurt others. Don’t criticise others, don’t belittle others, and don’t be rude to others. Try to judge others less, you don’t know their circumstances.

If you’re thinking this is too difficult, or lame, I’d suggest taking a closer look at the way you’re orientating yourself in the experience of life. We all have a shadowy side, often filled with negativity and aggression, even hatred and fury. We need to find a way of virtuously channelling that aggression for good rather than bad. It’s important to integrate the shadow aspect of personality into a healthy life that makes the world better for us, our loved ones and the rest of society today and into the future.

Now that’s something we can all commit to straight away, that’s worth doing to make life meaningful.