Appreciate Your Now

Get Results: life is never not now
Get Results: life is never not now

I was recently talking to someone who was struggling to come to terms with a friend of hers leaving to join the army. The back story is that her best friend of 17 years had been living with an ex for 6 months due to financial constraints, and as a way out had decided to join the army and leave for 4 years with possible deployment oversees.

Apparently she would never have done this if she wasn’t stuck in this bad living situation, but has now become excited at the prospect of new beginnings.

The person I was talking to, let’s call her Elaine for the purposes of this post, was feeling angry and sad about her friend leaving, especially because she’d be leaving to potentially be part of a conflict and could find herself in great danger.

Although Elaine was being outwardly supportive of her friend, she was dreading her departure, and the thought of potentially losing their close friendship and had a lot of anger which was directed at her friends ex for putting her in this situation.

Elaine had a couple serious “are you sure?” conversations with her friend who had indicated that she was sure of her decision, and it being what she wanted.

If Elaine’s friend stays she will continue to work at her solid full time job, and will only have to keep living with her ex for another two months.

I told her the bottom line was she should let go of her attachment to their friendship and accept the situation as is, which involves both letting go, and surrendering to the present reality.

She shouldn’t resist the feelings she has. Instead examine her fear of loss by looking into it.

Bringing awareness to her story telling, by asking how much of it is speculation driven by fear, which is all of it, in reality. I told Elaine to be aware of this, and the fact that none of these thoughts are real, they are story telling embellishments out of control.

The truth is her friend is happy to go, so she should be happy for her. None of us know what the future holds, her friend could stay and get hit by a bus, and then Elaine would be thinking she should have let her friend go into the army after all, instead of talking her out of it. You can make stories up to either back her friends departure or for staying.

I advised Elaine to let go of the fear that is telling her that her friend is safer here rather than there. It’s her friends journey and she needs to go where she needs to go. We all have our own journey to travel.

We are all protective of those we love, we want them to be safe and secure, and when they are not with us we believe the danger is greater or that we may be left without them. This is of course a possibility, but we can drive ourselves crazy by running with these stories.

Loss is indeed part of life, all things are transient. Change is continuous and wishing for it not to be, does little to change the reality.

We should be grateful for the blessings we have, as they are happening, for the relationships, the places and the things we get to experience, in the moment we experience them. Instead of being completely absorbed by wanting, and chasing after more or better in the future, which many of us do, and are preoccupied with doing, only to realising what we had, but didn’t truly appreciate when we had them to enjoy. Nothing lasts forever, everything has it’s time and is subject to change, continually.

Accept the fact that change is part of life, be grateful for your blessings right now, and get used to the idea that the future is uncertain, but focus much more on the opportunities it can present, rather than the danger, and  risk that it may or may not pose.

The best solution is not to over think, but instead feel life in the moment it unfolds, in the present moment. Thinking is imagination, speculation, with no foundation in reality. It’s the creative story teller inside you, driven by fear. Love is now, fear is focused in the future. Appreciate all you have now. It’s fine to work towards a future goal, but prioritise NOW, and all that is in your now, because it might not be there tomorrow.

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Gratitude: The Power of Appreciation

Get Results: Gratitude
Get Results: Gratitude

The power of GRATITUDE can not be overstated, it works like magic, to change a negative mindset into a positive one, in an instant.

There is a quick way to move from negative emotion to positive emotion, and that is by pschologically reframing what you think about.

You can only think about one thing at a time, try it for yourself, y0ur thoughts might flitter around aimlessly, but you can only hold one thought at any time.

If you’re feeling in a negative state, it is because of what is occupying your thoughts in that moment.

One quick fix for this is to become grateful. Coming from the perspective of gratitude, allowing your thoughts to really explore the feeling of gratitude, instantly shifts your perspective.

If you focus on what you don’t have, on the pain that you share your life with, of what’s not good, then you inevitably are going to feel negatively.

However there is so much to be grateful for, your life, the fact you get to experience this reality, against all the odds of even being born. Of the love and friendship you share with others, the glory of health and capability, both physically and mentally. The beauty of nature, the rich tapestry of life that is all around you, if you dare to look, and I mean really look. The possibilities and opportunities that are there for all, if they believe and are willing to put in the work. It’s a matter of perspective. Changing the way you think about things, really does change your experience of life.

Get Results: Gratitude
Get Results: Gratitude

Gratitude is part of what motivates people, check out more ingredients of motivation.

If you would like to read more articles focused on GRATITUDE, click here.

Gratitude Quotes

“Trade Expectations for Appreciation.” – Tony Robbins

“Gratitude is the quickest way to turn a negative mood into a positive one.” – getresults.org.uk

“It is not happy people who are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy.”

“Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.”

“A moment of gratitude makes a difference in your attitude.”

“Expect nothing and appreciate everything.”

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.” – Tony Robbins

“There is always, always something to be thankful for.”

“Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot.”

“The quickest way to change a negative mood into a positive one is to think deeply about what you have to be grateful for. There is always something.” Getresults.org.uk

“Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.” – Karl Barth

“When you arise in the morning. Think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”

“Gratitude transforms common days into thanksgivings, turns routine jobs into joy, and changes ordinary opportunities into blessings.”

“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”

“On a good day, give thanks, on a bad day, give thanks. Life is a gift. Tomorrow isn’t promised.”

“Don’t wait ’til it’s gone before you realise its worth. Appreciate it while you have it in your life, instead of neglecting it. That way it’s more likely to be in your life for longer” – getresults.org.uk

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received.” – Henry Van Dyke

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” – Willie Nelson

“Whatever you appreciate and give thanks for will increase in your life.”

“There is no joy without gratitude.” – Brene Brown

“Enjoy the little things for one day. You may look back and realise they were the big things.”

“If you count all your assets, you always show a profit.” – Robert Quillen

“Contentment makes poor men rich; discontent makes rich men poor.”

“The great secret of life is to cultivate the ability to appreciate the things we have.”