Find Meaning in Life

Get Results: meaningful specific focus
Get Results: meaningful specific

Life includes a great deal of struggle and suffering. But what if I told you there is opportunity for hope? What if I told you that you could improve your life, and the life of your family, and make things better in your community?

If you’re not interested in doing this, then you should accept you have no cause to complain. If you are unwilling to make the necessary changes and take the actions to make life more bearable, then that’s a conscious choice that you’re making. But stop pointing an accusing finger at others and realise your own lack of effort contributes to the problems you complain about.

It’s difficult to deal with the human condition; our vulnerability in a world that often seems possessed with negativity and malevolence.

This negativity starts with the tyranny of the culture and society we live in. Value hierarchies become power grabs that benefit the few, rather than value structures that serve the masses. Some people benefit, not because they provide more value, but because they wield more power. The old way of doing things holds back new ways of doing things.

The negative aspects of nature include all of its destructive elements. We’re talking about things like the aging process, illness and disease, natural disasters and the inevitability of our own deaths. All these things are out to get us and our loved ones. Loss is part of life, some people experience greater losses than others, but we all experience loss at some point in our lives. At the end of it all, we know we must face our own mortality.

If all this wasn’t enough, we also face the cruelty of human nature. We see it in the actions of others and see the potential in ourselves.

So it’s understandable that against all this potential for suffering the predicament for human beings is a difficult one. We must find something that counteracts this negativity and makes the suffering worth enduring.

The way to do this is find meaning in life, something of a hero’s journey that offsets life’s tragic circumstances.

First, we must recognise that society, nature and human nature each have their positive aspects that offset their negatives.

Culture and society is a protector that shields us from nature and the darker side of human nature. Most of the time we interact with others free of fear that they are going to attack us, take our possessions and make our lives a living hell. Society does this by socialising people, teaching what is expected of them in a civilised society. Sure, there are some that break the rules, but imagine what the world would be like if chaos reigned. We take this aspect of society for granted, but realise it’s not a certainty, it’s a privilege that we enjoy because of the sacrifices of those generations that have gone before us.

The push and pull of liberal and conservative traits holds hierarchies in unstable equilibrium and it needs both to maintain the tension in which hierarchies function best. The conservatives maintain the necessary hierarchies, the liberals hold them to account by standing up for those souls that accumulate at the bottom. Hierarchies tend towards tyranny if left unchecked, so we require liberals, hierarchies are necessary and so we require conservatives. If you think the answer is to tear all hierarchies down, you don’t understand their function nearly well enough. Hierarchies give something for people to aspire to, they focus productivity and they work as long as they remain fair. We must all fight for equality of opportunity, social mobility, and ensure we remove tyrannical power from the game.

Nature is not just a threat to life, it is a life giver. It is the creator of all the beauty that surrounds us. We take much of this beauty for granted, but it only requires us to open our eyes to see the majesty that nature has gifted us.

Now let’s consider the positive aspects of human nature. Sure, there is much evil in the world. Those who would rather destroy, than build, those that spread hate rather than love. These people get most of the attention from media, but fortunately they are in the minority.

The other side of human nature is the capacity for love and connection, for innovation and selflessness. There is much of this positivity out there if we look for it. Many of the things we get enjoyment from comes from human endeavour and ingenuity. Again we take these things for granted, but it is truly amazing that these things are so routine and stable, that we can take them for granted. Water flows when we turn the tap on, electricity is available at the click of a switch. We have heating, shelter, food, the internet, the power of functionality in the phones that consume much of our lives. We have cars and roads to help you get to places, and planes to fly to far-off lands for a few hundred pounds. Wow.

So life is not all about suffering, there is much to be grateful for. Everything contributes to the rich tapestry of life and makes it so interesting.

But it’s important to find meaning in life, something to aim for and aspire towards, a sense of direction.

You don’t have to come up with the next big invention to make a difference in the world. You can work small, but work at beautifying it to the best of your ability. Jordan Peterson posits it starts by “tidying your room”. By making the space you inhabit the best it can be, you improve your house, by improving your house, you improve the street, by improving the street you improve your community. And if everyone did this…wow.

Growing up, I remember the little old ladies sweeping the pavement outside their front door. Just this simple act of sweeping the pavement would make me think how this little old lady was contributing to keeping her space neat and tidy, and how it demonstrated her pride in where she lived, and I thought I should do the same. It rubbed off on me, and I’m sure it had some impact on others who witnessed her doing the same thing over the years.

I see many people complaining about where they live, but I wonder what they do (apart from complaining) to actively make things better.

Communities are made up of people, not inanimate objects. People can make the most dismal places feel like a nice place to live. The tenement block becomes a depressing place because the community lets it become one, the people that live there allow it to become so.

I like the example used by Jordan Peterson in many of his talks about finding meaning in the smallest endeavours. He talks about running a modest café and it being a microcosm of communal activity, a place for neighbours to meet and congregate. A place where people rest before they go and do their important work. A place to nurture and educate their employees to be better and find pride in their self-sufficiency. This isn’t just about talking up a menial job, it’s about recognising the contribution it makes to the people who benefit from it.

The taxi driver is not just a taxi-driver, he/she is an important part of the economy, who serves to help people get to where they need to go. Without him/her many people would suffer greatly. They would be isolated, unable to get to important appointments, unable to get to the shop, unable to get home safely from a night out etc.

You have more power than you think, so make a positive contribution, no matter how small it is. A kind word can improve someone’s day, take a few minutes to speak to a neighbour, you might be the only person they get to talk to today. You probably know how upsetting it can be if someone says something mean to you, it can stay with you and really put a dampener on your day. You might know the frustration of letting someone out of a junction, when driving, and not having them acknowledge your kindness.

Little things make a big difference. Find meaning in these simple gestures and acts, and find meaning by pursuing a meaningful goal, regardless of how small a contribution you initially think it makes.

Attitude of Gratitude

Get Results: make the best of everything
Get Results: make the best of everything

Stop EXPECTING – nobody owes you anything. Be grateful for the time, interest, and generosity of other people. You have no entitlement to anything in life, everything is a gift.

If you’ve been born into a loving family, count yourself lucky, many don’t enjoy that privilege. It’s not like you did anything to deserve it, you were and are just really lucky that circumstances fell in your favour.

If you were born with good health – physical and psychological – you were and are just lucky, many people aren’t blessed in that way.

Be grateful for every day you’re above ground and in the company of people who choose to spend their precious time with you.

Even if you’re not born into a loving family, or you don’t have good mental or physical health, look for the things you can be grateful for. Do you have sight, hearing, are you able form and maintain relationships with other people, are there things you can do that others can’t? Are you free of pain, at least some of the time? Do you have anyone who cares about you?

It’s okay to Feel sorry for yourself sometimes, you should face your negative emotions, but don’t let them consume you, because it doesn’t help you to make things better. Prolonged negative reminiscing will only poison your mind and body.

Be grateful for even the smallest blessings. When you change how you think about the world, the world changes.

It’s important to understand that your attention and perceptions are goal dependant. When you task yourself with finding the great things in life, the world lays itself out around that goal. Your perceptions are motivated to help you attain whatever goal you set your sights on. Here’s a little game to illustrate how that plays out.

So you can pick the goal of playing victim and wallow in self-pity or you can empower yourself with the goal of finding light in the darkness, using gratitude, the choice is yours.

Appreciate Your Now

Get Results: life is never not now
Get Results: life is never not now

I was recently talking to someone who was struggling to come to terms with a friend of hers leaving to join the army. The back story is that her best friend of 17 years had been living with an ex for 6 months due to financial constraints, and as a way out had decided to join the army and leave for 4 years with possible deployment oversees.

Apparently she would never have done this if she wasn’t stuck in this bad living situation, but has now become excited at the prospect of new beginnings.

The person I was talking to, let’s call her Elaine for the purposes of this post, was feeling angry and sad about her friend leaving, especially because she’d be leaving to potentially be part of a conflict and could find herself in great danger.

Although Elaine was being outwardly supportive of her friend, she was dreading her departure, and the thought of potentially losing their close friendship and had a lot of anger which was directed at her friends ex for putting her in this situation.

Elaine had a couple serious “are you sure?” conversations with her friend who had indicated that she was sure of her decision, and it being what she wanted.

If Elaine’s friend stays she will continue to work at her solid full time job, and will only have to keep living with her ex for another two months.

I told her the bottom line was she should let go of her attachment to their friendship and accept the situation as is, which involves both letting go, and surrendering to the present reality.

She shouldn’t resist the feelings she has. Instead examine her fear of loss by looking into it.

Bringing awareness to her story telling, by asking how much of it is speculation driven by fear, which is all of it, in reality. I told Elaine to be aware of this, and the fact that none of these thoughts are real, they are story telling embellishments out of control.

The truth is her friend is happy to go, so she should be happy for her. None of us know what the future holds, her friend could stay and get hit by a bus, and then Elaine would be thinking she should have let her friend go into the army after all, instead of talking her out of it. You can make stories up to either back her friends departure or for staying.

I advised Elaine to let go of the fear that is telling her that her friend is safer here rather than there. It’s her friends journey and she needs to go where she needs to go. We all have our own journey to travel.

We are all protective of those we love, we want them to be safe and secure, and when they are not with us we believe the danger is greater or that we may be left without them. This is of course a possibility, but we can drive ourselves crazy by running with these stories.

Loss is indeed part of life, all things are transient. Change is continuous and wishing for it not to be, does little to change the reality.

We should be grateful for the blessings we have, as they are happening, for the relationships, the places and the things we get to experience, in the moment we experience them. Instead of being completely absorbed by wanting, and chasing after more or better in the future, which many of us do, and are preoccupied with doing, only to realising what we had, but didn’t truly appreciate when we had them to enjoy. Nothing lasts forever, everything has it’s time and is subject to change, continually.

Accept the fact that change is part of life, be grateful for your blessings right now, and get used to the idea that the future is uncertain, but focus much more on the opportunities it can present, rather than the danger, and  risk that it may or may not pose.

The best solution is not to over think, but instead feel life in the moment it unfolds, in the present moment. Thinking is imagination, speculation, with no foundation in reality. It’s the creative story teller inside you, driven by fear. Love is now, fear is focused in the future. Appreciate all you have now. It’s fine to work towards a future goal, but prioritise NOW, and all that is in your now, because it might not be there tomorrow.

For more about spirituality click here.

For more about gratitude click here.

Gratitude: The Power of Appreciation

Get Results: Gratitude
Get Results: Gratitude

The power of GRATITUDE can not be overstated, it works like magic, to change a negative mindset into a positive one, in an instant.

There is a quick way to move from negative emotion to positive emotion, and that is by pschologically reframing what you think about.

You can only think about one thing at a time, try it for yourself, your thoughts might flitter around aimlessly, but you can only hold one thought at any time.

Get Results: make the best of everything
Get Results: make the best of everything

If you’re feeling in a negative state, it is because of what is occupying your thoughts in that moment.

One quick fix for this is to become grateful. Coming from the perspective of gratitude, allowing your thoughts to really explore the feeling of gratitude, instantly shifts your perspective.

Get Results: appreciation
Get Results: appreciation

If you focus on what you don’t have, on the pain that you share your life with, of what’s not good, then you inevitably are going to feel negatively.

However there is so much to be grateful for, your life, the fact you get to experience this reality, against all the odds of even being born. Of the love and friendship you share with others, the glory of health and capability, both physically and mentally. The beauty of nature, the rich tapestry of life that is all around you, if you dare to look, and I mean really look. The possibilities and opportunities that are there for all, if they believe and are willing to put in the work. It’s a matter of perspective. Changing the way you think about things, really does change your experience of life.

Get Results: Gratitude
Get Results: Gratitude

Gratitude is part of what motivates people, check out more ingredients of motivation.

If you would like to read more articles focused on GRATITUDE, click here.

Get Results: gratitude changes mood
Get Results: gratitude changes mood

Gratitude Quotes

“Trade Expectations for Appreciation.” – Tony Robbins

“Gratitude is the quickest way to turn a negative mood into a positive one.” – getresults.org.uk

“It is not happy people who are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy.”

“Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.”

“A moment of gratitude makes a difference in your attitude.”

“Expect nothing and appreciate everything.”

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.” – Tony Robbins

“There is always, always something to be thankful for.”

“Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot.”

“The quickest way to change a negative mood into a positive one is to think deeply about what you have to be grateful for. There is always something.” Getresults.org.uk

“Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.” – Karl Barth

“When you arise in the morning. Think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”

“Gratitude transforms common days into thanksgivings, turns routine jobs into joy, and changes ordinary opportunities into blessings.”

“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”

“On a good day, give thanks, on a bad day, give thanks. Life is a gift. Tomorrow isn’t promised.”

“Don’t wait ’til it’s gone before you realise its worth. Appreciate it while you have it in your life, instead of neglecting it. That way it’s more likely to be in your life for longer” – getresults.org.uk

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received.” – Henry Van Dyke

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” – Willie Nelson

“Whatever you appreciate and give thanks for will increase in your life.”

“There is no joy without gratitude.” – Brene Brown

“Enjoy the little things for one day. You may look back and realise they were the big things.”

“If you count all your assets, you always show a profit.” – Robert Quillen

“Contentment makes poor men rich; discontent makes rich men poor.”

“The great secret of life is to cultivate the ability to appreciate the things we have.”