In the intricate dance of human behavior, two primal forces constantly shape our actions: approach and avoidance. It’s a delicate balancing act of seeking pleasure while evading pain, striving to keep or attain the good while steering clear of the bad. Understanding these dynamics is key to unraveling the complexities of our decisions and actions.
At its core, our behavior is driven by the pursuit of rewards and the avoidance of punishments. We are wired to seek out experiences that trigger feelings of pleasure and satisfaction, fueled by the neurotransmitter dopamine. This incentive reward system motivates us to move towards our goals, driven by the anticipation of gratification.
However, once we achieve our goals, the frame of reference shifts. The consummatory reward sets in, and we experience a sense of satiation. Yet, intriguingly, it’s often the anticipation of rewards that drives us more than the rewards themselves. We find ourselves constantly chasing the next high, the next dopamine hit, perpetually in a state of wanting over having.
Conversely, punishments serve as deterrents, signaling potential threats to our well-being. Whether it’s the diminishment of our self-esteem or social status, punishments act as barriers, dissuading us from engaging in behaviours deemed undesirable.
But how do we determine what is good or bad, right or wrong? It’s through the lens of subjective interpretation, colored by our beliefs, values, and social conditioning. We assign meaning to our experiences, filtering them through the sieve of our perceptions and biases. Yet, this process is inherently flawed, as our interpretations often lack the depth and nuance to capture the complexities of reality.
In retrospect, we may rationalize our actions, weaving a narrative that justifies our choices and minimizes cognitive dissonance. This tendency to twist reality to fit our narrative serves as a coping mechanism, shielding us from the discomfort of acknowledging our shortcomings.
However, we are able to change our mindset, by reframing how we think about things, by taking responsibility for our actions instead of adopting a victim mentality, by being resourceful, and by finding a big enough reason (or enough reasons) to initiate momentum towards positive change. We need to generate enough enthusiasm to overcome any resistance to change that may hold us back. This is often fueled by the fear of the unknown, uncertainty, loss, embarrassment, and an evolutionary desire to conserve energy in times of uncertainty.
Fear, instead of being an obstacle, can be harnessed as a catalyst for growth, propelling us forward into uncharted territory. By getting the fear of regret or fear of missing out (FOMO) behind us, we can use it to towards our goals.
Embracing chaos and complexity, we embark on the hero’s journey, confronting our fears and building competency through incremental, but continuous progress. Armed with knowledge, motivation, and productivity tools, we navigate the twists and turns of life, aiming for the highest good while standing on the border between our comfort zone and unknown territory.
In this ever-evolving dance of approach and avoidance, let us dare to venture bravely into the unknown, armed with the wisdom to differentiate the monsters that are from the monsters that could be. For it is in the journey itself that we discover the true essence of our humanity and the limitless potential that lies within.