The quote, “People do not seem to realize that their opinion for the world is also a confession of character.” is often attributed to philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson, and suggests that the way people see and interpret the world reflects their own inner qualities, beliefs, and biases. Here’s what it means:
Perspective as a Mirror: When people express opinions about the world, they reveal how they see life, others, and even themselves. For instance, a person who views the world as hostile or unfair might reveal a more cynical or distrustful outlook, whereas someone who sees beauty or kindness in the world might have a more open-hearted or optimistic character.
Judgments and Values: Our opinions are shaped by our experiences, values, and attitudes. For example, someone who constantly criticizes others may be showing an underlying insecurity or judgmental nature. Conversely, someone who often finds the good in people might be more compassionate or forgiving.
Character Traits Revealed: How people react to events or social issues often highlights their priorities and character traits, like empathy, resilience, cynicism, or hopefulness. This idea implies that our opinions are less about objective reality and more about what we project from within ourselves.
In essence, our opinions about the world reflect who we are as people—our character, our past experiences, and our inner-perspectives—more than they necessarily reflect the world itself.
whether you think you’ can or you think you can’t – you’re right quote by Henry Ford
In the intricate dance of human behavior, two primal forces constantly shape our actions: approach and avoidance. It’s a delicate balancing act of seeking pleasure while evading pain, striving to keep or attain the good while steering clear of the bad. Understanding these dynamics is key to unraveling the complexities of our decisions and actions.
At its core, our behavior is driven by the pursuit of rewards and the avoidance of punishments. We are wired to seek out experiences that trigger feelings of pleasure and satisfaction, fueled by the neurotransmitter dopamine. This incentive reward system motivates us to move towards our goals, driven by the anticipation of gratification.
However, once we achieve our goals, the frame of reference shifts. The consummatory reward sets in, and we experience a sense of satiation. Yet, intriguingly, it’s often the anticipation of rewards that drives us more than the rewards themselves. We find ourselves constantly chasing the next high, the next dopamine hit, perpetually in a state of wanting over having.
Conversely, punishments serve as deterrents, signaling potential threats to our well-being. Whether it’s the diminishment of our self-esteem or social status, punishments act as barriers, dissuading us from engaging in behaviours deemed undesirable.
But how do we determine what is good or bad, right or wrong? It’s through the lens of subjective interpretation, colored by our beliefs, values, and social conditioning. We assign meaning to our experiences, filtering them through the sieve of our perceptions and biases. Yet, this process is inherently flawed, as our interpretations often lack the depth and nuance to capture the complexities of reality.
In retrospect, we may rationalize our actions, weaving a narrative that justifies our choices and minimizes cognitive dissonance. This tendency to twist reality to fit our narrative serves as a coping mechanism, shielding us from the discomfort of acknowledging our shortcomings.
However, we are able to change our mindset, by reframing how we think about things, by taking responsibility for our actions instead of adopting a victim mentality, by being resourceful, and by finding a big enough reason (or enough reasons) to initiate momentum towards positive change. We need to generate enough enthusiasm to overcome any resistance to change that may hold us back. This is often fueled by the fear of the unknown, uncertainty, loss, embarrassment, and an evolutionary desire to conserve energy in times of uncertainty.
Fear, instead of being an obstacle, can be harnessed as a catalyst for growth, propelling us forward into uncharted territory. By getting the fear of regret or fear of missing out (FOMO) behind us, we can use it to towards our goals.
Embracing chaos and complexity, we embark on the hero’s journey, confronting our fears and building competency through incremental, but continuous progress. Armed with knowledge, motivation, and productivity tools, we navigate the twists and turns of life, aiming for the highest good while standing on the border between our comfort zone and unknown territory.
In this ever-evolving dance of approach and avoidance, let us dare to venture bravely into the unknown, armed with the wisdom to differentiate the monsters that are from the monsters that could be. For it is in the journey itself that we discover the true essence of our humanity and the limitless potential that lies within.
Get Results: expand comfort zone through discomfort
Stepping outside one’s comfort zone is akin to venturing into uncharted territory, where uncertainty reigns supreme and discomfort becomes a constant companion. By its very definition, discomfort implies a sense of unease, a feeling of resistance that stems from the instinctual urge for self-preservation. It’s the unsettling sensation that nudges us towards the familiar, towards the safety of what we know, rather than towards the unknown.
Yet, it is precisely at this juncture, at the threshold of fear and uncertainty, that we are presented with a choice—a choice that can either propel us towards growth and self-discovery or anchor us to the safety of the familiar. It is the choice between turning away from the fear or leaning into it, facing it head-on, and embracing the discomfort as a catalyst for change.
In many ways, embarking on this journey is akin to undertaking the hero’s journey—a narrative archetype that transcends cultures and time periods, embodying the universal quest for self-discovery and transformation. Like the hero of old, we are called to venture forth into the unknown, to confront our deepest fears and overcome seemingly insurmountable challenges, in pursuit of a greater truth.
For it is often said that the very thing we need most can be found in the place we least want to look. It is amidst the discomfort and uncertainty of the unknown that we uncover hidden truths about ourselves, about our capabilities, and about the world around us. It is here, in the depths of our discomfort, that we discover the resilience of the human spirit and the boundless potential that lies dormant within each of us.
In stepping outside our comfort zone, we come to realize that all the knowledge and wisdom we seek to improve our lives lie not within the confines of what we already know but in the vast expanse of the unknown. It is here that we find the answers to the questions we never thought to ask, the solutions to the problems we never knew existed.
Yes, it is true that we already possess a wealth of knowledge and experience that has brought us to this point in our lives. But if we are to continue growing, evolving, and becoming the best versions of ourselves, then we must be willing to embrace the discomfort of the unknown, to venture into uncharted territory, and to open ourselves up to the infinite possibilities that lie beyond our comfort zone.
So, the next time you find yourself faced with the choice between the safety of the familiar and the uncertainty of the unknown, remember this—true growth lies not in what we already know but in what we have yet to learn. Step boldly into the discomfort, for it is here that the greatest adventures await, and the most profound transformations occur.
“There are only two great tragedies in life: one is not getting what you want and the other is getting it.” — Oscar Wilde
This quote by Oscar Wilde reflects on the dual nature of life’s potential tragedies. Let’s break it down:
“One is not getting what you want”: The first tragedy refers to the disappointment and sorrow that come from unfulfilled desires and aspirations. Failing to achieve one’s goals or obtain what one desires can be a source of profound sadness and regret.
“The other is getting it”: The second tragedy is more subtle. It suggests that obtaining what one desires can also be a source of tragedy. This could be due to the unexpected consequences, responsibilities, or challenges that come with achieving one’s goals. Success may not always bring the fulfillment or happiness one anticipated, and the reality of attaining one’s desires may turn out to be less satisfying than expected.
In essence, Wilde’s quote highlights the complex and often contradictory nature of human desires and the potential for both disappointment in not achieving them and unexpected challenges in achieving them. It encourages reflection on the nature of personal goals and the broader implications of success and failure in the pursuit of those goals.
These 12 points should be considered when embarking on any journey of change or transformation for the individual.
Start as early as possible. Your future ideal is looking back at your present decisions and actions judgingly.
Plan the best journey you can (given the knowledge you have).
At least consider/research alternatives -to assess which is the best route. If you just set off prematurely you might be going in completely the opposite direction to what you should be going, and will require you to backtrack later, wasting lots of time and effort. Remember, the shortest route between two points is a straight line. Don’t panic if you have set off prematurely, learn from it and get back on track.
You don’t need to know everything when you start out, the journey is partly (even mainly) about growing into the type of person who can complete it, through acquired knowledge learned from the journey itself.
The journey may have lots of distractions, or temptations, always keep one eye on the destination. When making decisions between choices, make sure moving closer to the destination is the deciding factor.
Expect obstacles, they will teach you something about your journey. Consider them a missing part of your plan. Learn from them, they may crop up again further down the road, and you’ll know what to do next time. Some obstacles may even be fun to problem solve.
Enjoy the journey whenever you can. It’s the thing that is going to take up most of your time. You’re less likely to pursue a goal that requires a dull, uncomfortable, or unenjoyable journey. Sometimes you have no choice, but when you do, pick wisely.
The worry of fear is often an exaggerated version of the thing itself. The mind plays tricks to instinctively keep us safe. Think it through, what is the worst that could happen, and is that outcome really that bad?
Listen to that off-putting part of you thoroughly before going any further, negotiate a satisfying resolution (in good faith), so it doesn’t keep popping up, and using up your energy and resolution. All parts of you should be 100% committed to the journey, so setbacks don’t end things later (wasting more of your time).
Have 3 or 4 good arguments for undertaking the journey to begin with, so that counterarguments don’t get the upper hand. If 40% of you is against the journey, then the remaining 60% is having to pull against this anchor, requiring more expenditure of energy. If 60% is against your journey/ goal/ destination, you’re not going to even try. Do you really want to get to the destination enough? Do you have a big enough reason or enough reasons?
Is completion of the journey a matter of life or death, very important, not really important at all? Get this straight in your mind. ‘Life and death’ is a big enough reason on its own, and you better get on with it. With ‘very low importance’, obviously not so much, but why not give it a go anyway, it might be fun and a great learning opportunity, since you have nothing to lose either way. Value being a lifelong learner.
Once you reach your destination, you’ve got your next journey to navigate. Life is made up of many journeys and these will make up the dash between your birthday and the date of death on your gravestone (final destination of this life at least). We have one life (that we know about for sure), so make the most of it, while you can. But remember, it’s not just about hedonistic pleasure, it’s about making things better for others as well.
What’s the story going to be from this point onward?
The future doesn’t have to reflect the past unless you want it to.
The first chapter of your life might have been full of strife and struggle; the next can be about how you overcome such adversity, following the hero’s journey.
You get to write your own story. It could be one with many twists and turns, ups and downs. A three vs. zero defeat in the first half of a football match, sets up the opportunity for an amazing comeback in the second half.
You get to write the script from now on, It’s your right as well as your responsibility. Okay there’s going to be unexpected occurrences that come from left field, but you choose how you deal with them.
Arm yourself with the right tools: good reasoning capabilities, critical thinking, emotional control, and the desire to listen to your conscience for guidance.
Aim for “love” and “truth” for yourself and others. Armed with these two, you cannot be defeated. No amount of hate or lies is ever enough to defeat you, an apparent defeat may appear to contradict, but conscience will always point out the right path.
Do you think you can twist reality, because that is what you’re trying to do with lies. You certainly can not. Your lie will not go unnoticed, your future ideal self is always judging your actions and your conscience is pricking you if you’re not on track to live up to you ideals.
Are you living up to your ideals? Your lies twist your perceptions of reality, they don’t twist actual reality. Overtime you lose trust in yourself, and only truth can straighten things out again.
Get Results: make your journey as engaging as your goal
You have a superpower, the ability to change the future.
Changing thoughts, changes actions, your thoughts don’t define you, they are like clouds, you are the sky. Make thoughts serve you, rather than use you.
Actions you do repeatedly become habits, replace your bad habits with productive habits, small daily changes compound over time, years later providing exponential returns.
First set your sights on the highest possible good, for the betterment of you and yours today and into the future, as well as for the betterment of your society, you can have no better goal than that.
Orient yourself towards the good, towards love, be the hero of your own journey, of your own story, strive to make yourself the ideal you aspire to be.
Then focus on the daily habits that move you towards that ideal, day by day, action by action, connect your actions today to your ideal future self, like lining up dominos, each toppling the next, building momentum, with increasing inertia, makes it easier over time.
Sacrifice part of the present for the future, otherwise you’ll be sacrificing the future for the present.
Negotiate with yourself and make it work, you’re not your own servant, be kind to yourself.
Make the day ahead the best it can be while being as productive as possible, it’s a marathon not a sprint, and consistency is key.
The journey of a thousand steps, starts with just one, then one more … .
Use regret of unfulfilled potential drive you forward, while a worthwhile goal pulls you towards it.
Master the ability to get results, again and again.
Better results come out of better actions, which come out of better thoughts, so mindset makes all the difference. You become the consequence of your thinking.
Fix your goal on who you want to be in 5 years, then craft a path towards that destination.
Make the journey as meaningful as you can, because it is the journey that will consume your time and attention, and these two resources can’t be repeated or replaced, they are consumed and finite.
You are the hero of your own journey, a transformation from who you are into who you aspire to be, not just for you and yours today, but for you and yours into the future.
The secret is in doing it for the betterment of society. While society can be corrupt and tyrannical, it is also a safe space to grow in. Outside of its protective embrace is the dragon of chaos.
Each individual who values rights must also accept responsibilities to move their society closer to God and away from the Devil. You have the power in your Being, and you have work to do.
Don’t fall by the wayside, don’t be a contributor to evil, don’t shun your responsibly, don’t settle for being king of the lost.
You may not be religious, but the divine is part of what you are.
Carry the love in your heart into future generations. They will be tomorrows custodians of this great planet we call home. Don’t short-change your children, and your children’s children. You owe them the chance to live their own hero’s journey, to pass love forward, to make the world a better place to live and thrive.
You have your challenge, stand up and accept the meaning that comes from this great responsibility.
We seem to be in a more polarised world than ever before, and tribalism appears to have been getting more popular over the last few years in the Western world.
We humans are social animals who function in a social world where competition and cooperation is a necessary component of a well-functioning society.
We all have to agree the rules of the social game, and then cooperate in playing a functioning role within that game, otherwise the fabric of society falls away, and nobody in their right mind wants that to happen, because anarchy and chaos replaces order and civility.
Our ancestors lived in smaller, more isolated communities and would mainly connect to other people in their shared geographical space, looking out for their neighbours.
But as populations have exploded, and mobility has increased, those local communities have largely been swept away and we’re now part of a more fluid, globalised world thanks to technological advances. It’s much easier to connect with other people through shared interests, ideas, beliefs and values. We may be connected with people from the other side of the world, yet not know who our neighbours are.
Tribalism and increased sense of self
There is a growing number of people in the population who take their identity from their affiliations; they see themselves as Labour or Tory, Democrats or Republicans, or part of a wider movement with a shared purpose, often to remove inequality from a corrupt social system. Other people are no longer seen as unique personalities with individual traits, thoughts, and values, they are either seen as “one of us” or “against us”. Thinking in this way eases cognitive burden but is a gross oversimplification of reality.
It’s important to understand the mechanics that drive tribalism.
At an individual level part of us likes to bring people, possessions, ideas and conceptual positions into what is best described as our sense of self (SOS). That part of us, often referred to as the Ego likes to think the more we’re connected to, and the more we possess, the more we elevate our self-worth. If we share interests or circumstances with others, and we like them, we will probably connect with them.
On the other hand, if we don’t connect with someone and take a dislike to them, we tend to separate from them by psychologically distancing from them. We also do this to increase our sense of self. If we take a critical view of another person, we’re immediately implying we’re superior to them.
So we lower the others (the other side) to inflate our own sense-of-self, or we inflate our sense-of-self through attachment and affiliation, and this lifts us above others (the other side).
This results in the formation of in-groups and out-groups.
So at an Ego level we’re trying to increase our sense of self by both connecting to and separating from other people.
As social animals we’d generally rather get on with others than not, but that’s just not possible with so many different personalities in play.
We need social connections because it protects us from what would otherwise be a chaotic and anarchical world. By cooperating in a competitive environment, we function without fear of being harmed or killed (most of the time). This psychologically frees us up to strive for personal growth. We can strive to climb social hierarchies in a mutually beneficial way as long as everyone else agrees to cooperate. Even though there are other people with vastly differing views and opinions, they can still participate in the same game, as long as they agree to play by the same rules. We can all agree to disagree with some things, but still cooperate in the overarching social game.
Collectivism can also make us feel more courageous. Psychologically making us less culpable if things go wrong, because the group shares the risks and responsibilities. It feels safer when we’re working with others in pursuit of a shared goal, as someone else can step up in situations where we feel less confident.
Collectives often result in people pointing fingers of blame at others, usually “the other side”, or rely on others within the group to come up with solutions. There are invariably those within the group who will take on leadership roles, and the rest follow in support.
A responsible individual
Rather than having a collectivist mindset, we should function predominantly on an individual level.
You should take personal responsibility for your actions and outcomes. Stop relying on other people, including other in-group members, and stand up and take action for yourself. Sure it’s harder to do, it feels scary at first, but it’s the right thing to do, because it forces you to stand up to your own challenges, and this arms you with the tools and skills to be an individual with real personal power.
Stop blaming others for your situation or complaining how others have caused you this problem and that problem. Blaming and complaining only disempowers you, it gives you an excuse not to take action for yourself. Passing blame passes power. Only when you take full responsibility for your own situation, are you able to empower yourself to make things better. What’s more, you should first put your own house in order before concerning yourself with wider societal issues.
We must also stop focusing attention on our differences with other people and start looking for our shared humanity. We can enrich our lives through genuine empathy and compassion for people who come from different backgrounds, cultures, and life experiences.
We should try to learn from each other’s unique experiences, by being curious, rather than closed-minded. After all, we are naturally exploratory creatures, and curiosity is part of what makes us human.
Open communication through dialogue, we all have stories to tell about our experiences, sharing these will help bring us together. It’s not just about telling your story, listen to other people’s stories, so you can learn something new from them.
What should we believe?
What beliefs are worth investing in?
What beliefs should we avoid?
What we are all trying to do is satisfy our biological needs today and in the future, for ourselves and family and more widely for society.
Why society, because if society is not functioning well, chaos and anarchy could be just around the corner and that’s not good for us or our family’s futures.
You can either ignore problems society has or do your part to make society better. You don’t have to make a huge, life-changing contribution, but just be nice to others rather than nasty.
Be a positive influence to those around you rather than a negative influence.
Link your behaviour – including what you say and do – with what kind of world you want for yourself and family in the future.
Don’t get suckered into ideologies–which only tell part of the full story of the world. The full story comprises the good and bad of…
• The Knower–we are the “knowers”. A mix of good and bad, persona and shadow.
• The known–“society/culture” . The protector against chaos on the one hand and tyrannical on the other.
• The unknown– “nature”. The life giver and life taker.
All these elements make up the whole of life experience.
What you do really matters! You have a greater impact on others than you might think. You can use your power for good or bad.
If you take a pathological path – you will have taken away from the world, rather than contributed to making it a better place.
What positive impact have you had on others?
If you try to spread love rather than hate, you make a huge difference to your life and that of other people. If others love you, then you must have positively impacted their life in some sense. This is a big deal. Just a smile or a kind word can make a vast difference to the receiver. If you help an elderly neighbour, you make a huge difference to them.
You don’t have to make a big difference to a lot of people; just one other person is enough. If you’re nice to one other person, that may put them in a better mood and they may be nicer to others as a result, and so positivity can spread very quickly.
The opposite is also true; your boss shouts at you, you shout at your kids, they kick the cat. You have surely experienced how negativity can impact your own life; when one person makes a nasty comment to you, it can really spoil your day. Negativity can really linger.
Don’t be king of the lost boys or queen of the lost girls. If you interact with other people who are not helping themselves, others and society, don’t aid and abet them. Don’t use other people as an excuse not to be as good as you can be.
Try to reach across the divide with people who are not like you, who have different opinions or affiliations, even people you see as your enemies. Don’t fall into divisive in-groups and out-groups. Division is bad in all situations. Sure it’s easier to get on with those with similar ideas, it’s much harder to do so with those of differing opinions, but we must try.
We humans are more similar than we are different. We have much more in common than we think we do. All people generally have a desire for pleasure and a need to avoid pain and suffering, but we differ in our strategies to achieve those goals.
We need to understand and empathise with other people who have different ways of thinking. Find some way of connecting with those people. If they are so ingrained with hate for your position, then don’t throw hate back at them, that’s just an Ego defence response. It will not work, hate only creates more hate, only love can defeat hate. Your responsibility is to shine light into the darkness.
Take on this responsibility where you currently are. Don’t wait for a future time, state, circumstance or situation. Do it with your next social interaction. Be a light in someone else’s life. You’re walking down the street – smile at people who you walk past you from the opposite direction, or say a friendly “hello”.
Don’t get annoyed with them, if they don’t reciprocate. You’re not doing it for what you get back from others, you’re doing it be a positive influence on your environment. This may seem strange at first, but eventually it will become habit.
Have a positive energy, have a kind word to say to others. If you’ve nothing nice to say, say nothing, because that’s better than saying something nasty.
Do something nice for others. If you don’t do something nice, then certainty don’t do something bad.
Go out of your way to help others. If you can’t, then avoid doing anything to harm or hurt others. Don’t criticise others, don’t belittle others, and don’t be rude to others. Try to judge others less, you don’t know their circumstances.
If you’re thinking this is too difficult, or lame, I’d suggest taking a closer look at the way you’re orientating yourself in the experience of life. We all have a shadowy side, often filled with negativity and aggression, even hatred and fury. We need to find a way of virtuously channelling that aggression for good rather than bad. It’s important to integrate the shadow aspect of personality into a healthy life that makes the world better for us, our loved ones and the rest of society today and into the future.
Now that’s something we can all commit to straight away, that’s worth doing to make life meaningful.
