spirituality | Get Lasting Results with Mike

Lessons To Learn From The EU Referendum

A few lessons to learn from the recent EU referendum…..

This morning Britain voted to leave the EU and the reaction of the stock markets was as could be expected, resulting in a lot of turmoil and rush to safety. Much of the political reaction was also based on fear and the prospect of an uncertain future for the country.

Always winners and losers (in every situation)

In reality there will always be winners and losers in any given situation. If we had remained in the EU there were no guarantees about what the future held. Hoping to protect the status quo is a nonsense, there is no such things as a status quo, things are always changing and evolving, whether we like to admit it or not.

When the price of sterling dropped like a stone this morning when the markets opened, had you bought a currency trade and sold it just after the bank of England speech a few hours later, you could have made yourself a lot of money. And so it is with every situation, there will always be winners and losers. It’s not really about what happens to you, It’s about how you deal with it. Change brings opportunities as well as risks. You can either position yourself in such a way as to take advantage of those opportunities or play the role of victim, and lose.

Get Results:predator of chance rather than a victim of circumstance

Change includes risk and opportunity

Emotion makes decision making much more subjective and fearful, if you can separate emotion, and emotive language from the facts, you give yourself a chance of making a rational decision. When we hold a strong emotional position, we may refuse to shift our opinion or back down to any opposing views and counter arguments. In truth, it’s not about being right or being wronged it’s about moving forward and making the best use of the opportunities that are inevitably available because of the very thing we fear…change.

We’re different: embrace the fact

Holding a strong opinion doesn’t make you right or wrong. Some people like to feel they have some control over their destiny, others like the sense of comfort and security. There are leaders and followers, risk takers and play safer’s and all have a valid place in society. They value different things and have different perspectives, and make decisions based on what they feel is right for them and their families. Accept this as part of life’s rich tapestry, don’t judge or ridcule others, respect their views, sure give them your opinion by all means, but know they are entitled to hold theirs.

Anger grows out of fear

When things apparently move against us and our perception is that the outcome is going to be bad for us, we may feel threatened and fearful. In an attempt at self protection, anger may result and be directed at whatever is deemed responsible for causing that fear. “Remain” campaigners saying “leave” campaigners are ignorant of the facts, have been brainwashed, are responsible for this mess, and have low IQ’s etc are attempts to make themselves feel better and increase their self worth. Discrediting others, is a defence mechanism, that inflates their sense of self. However a question we should all be asking is why do people feel such fear in the first place?

Follow your own agenda

During the EU referendum a lot of emotive language and stories of doom and gloom have been used by politicians and media on both sides of the debate, often designed to manipulate the audience into responding in a way that serves agendas of the politicians and media. It creates division and builds strong emotion, clouding the facts and making rational decision making more difficult. It builds on our fears and when we are fearful, we have a tendency to resist change even more than we would otherwise. Try to separate the emotion, and make rational decisions based on facts, don’t be a pawn in somebody else’s game, play for yourself. And even if you feel you are acting in your own best interests, ask yourself, based on what facts, not opinion or prediction, but facts.

The EU referendum has been one of those monumental moments in history. The future is uncertain, and either exciting or scary depending on your perspective. It is unprecedented in history so we will have to wait and see how it pans out.

I guess we will make it work, we always do. It’s in everyone’s interest for it to be a success. When there’s no alternative we can focus on making the one option we have work for the good of all us all as stakeholders.

Master the Fear of Change and Open the Door to Possibilities

The Fear of Change is really the fear of a possible future devaluation in our “sense of self” otherwise known as the “Ego”. It’s the fear of the unknown and sense of uncertainty about the future and what dangers that future might hold for us.

The only way to make things better than they are at present, is to make a change – change the way we think and how we do certain things. Failing to change, often results in stagnation and a sense of getting left behind, because everything around us is constantly changing whether we like it or not.

We falsely think that keeping the status quo is the safest thing to do because it’s familiar and we know we can cope with things as they are “Better the devil you know” as the saying goes. This is an illusion. Change is the only reality, so embrace it and be excited by all the possibilities that exist because of it.

The negative things we fear aren’t real, they are only imagined. We can’t deal with future threats, because they are mind projections, which we play, rather like a movie, over and over. We simulate these experiences as if they were real. We feel the sense of danger, our bodies feel the stress as if the experience was actually happening to us. It’s important to know the difference between the bear in your mind that is going to eat you and the actual bear in real life that is going to eat you. Our mind will always gravitate to the “worst case scenario”, because it’s designed to keep us alive. But many modern day situations are not life or death.

Ask yourself “What is really the worst that could happen if things don’t work out, will you die?” How many times have you dreaded a future event, only to find the reality was far less scary than you thought it would be?

I embrace change, I find it exciting. It is the only way to live in our modern world. Doors will open for you, while others may close but the journey is what life is about, not the destination. So enjoy the ride. Open your heart, open your mind. Jim Carey said it best. “Open the door in your mind and when the door opens in real life just walk through it”.

For more information regarding motivation, check out our motivational guide.

Thought of the Day Quotes (more thoughts here)

“If you insist on holding onto EXPECTATIONS, then expect the future to bring CHANGE, and you won’t be disappointed.”

“CHANGE brings with it OPPORTUNITIES, stop focusing on the RISKS and look for the CHANCES.”

“Why we resist change – CHANGE = UNCERTAINTY = RISK = LOSS. In reality it also provides OPPORTUNITY. But we fear LOSS more than we value gain. So we focus on that.”

Change Quotes

“There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love. There’s only scarcity of resolve to make it happen.” – Dr Wayne Dyer

“Nothing changes if nothing changes”.

Get Results: nothing changes if nothing changes

“When you reach a fork in the road, TAKE IT.” – Yogi Berra

Get Results: when you come to a fork in the road, take it

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” – Dr Wayne Dyer

Get Results: change the way you look at things

“The only way to make sense out of CHANGE is to plunge into it, move with it and join the dance.” – Alan Watts

“We can have more than we’ve got, because we can become more than we are.” – Jim Rohn

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading”. – Lao Tzu

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance”. – Alan Watts

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”- John F. Kennedy

“The key to change, is to let go of fear.” – Rosanne Cash

“Strive for progress not perfection.”

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” –George Bernard Shaw

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” –Frederick Douglass

“Goals seem impossible only when you are not heading toward them.” – Mike Hawkins

“Everyday is a second chance.”

“If you don’t take risks, you will always work for someone who does.”

“Your life does not get better by chance it gets better by change.”

“I already know what giving up feels like. I want to see what happens if I don’t.”

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

“Run when you can, walk when you have to, crawl if you must, just never give up.”

“You create your own reality.”

“The distance between dreams and reality is action.”

“You create your own reality.”

“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.” – Tim Notke.

“Dont make excuses, make improvements.” – tyra banks

“Are your excuses more important than your dreams?”

“Make things happen.” – getresults.org.uk

“Decide – commit – succeed.”

“If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.”

“Let’s not regret what we did not do, rather everyday is an opportunity to do the things we will never regret.”

Forming Attachments: How Easy To Be Manipulated

Get Results: cognitive attachment map graphic

I went for a walk earlier today, it’s something I do 4-5 times a week, and have done so for most of the last 12 months. I go walking around a flash locally known as Amberswood. It’s a lovely walk, and I enjoy my time surrounded by nature. I have become accustomed to seeing a family of swans living on the water. I have seen the cygnets growing up, and I must admit it has added a great deal of pleasure to my walk to see the family each day.

For the last couple of days however I have noticed the swans have been missing and the flash seems somewhat empty without them. There are still ducks on the water, but it doesn’t seem the same without the family of swans being there. I am assuming they have migrated for the winter,

I suddenly realised that I had formed an attachment to the swans without even realising it, and am now missing them being around, resulting in a feeling of sadness. This got me to thinking about how we humans form attachments which can often go on to develop into deeper emotional relationships. I came to the conclusion that if something is #1 – a regular part of our lives and #2- it adds some pleasure to it, then we are inclined to form an attachment to that thing.

I don’t think that an attachment would form with either of these elements missing.

I guess this is how brands try to embed themselves into our lives. They appear to us regularly through marketing campaigns, and attempt to provide a positive contribution to our existence. How else would you explain the longevity of brands such as Heinz, Kellogg’s, Cadbury’s and the like and how we have a great fondness for them, and seek them out when shopping.

These kinds of attachments don’t usually develop into anything emotionally deeper than a fondness, but they do form as attachments in the same way as deeper relationships would have started out. An attachment is an attachment whether it be to a person, a thing, an idea, an affiliation, or a family of swans. The difference lies in the strength of that attachment and how deeply it embeds into our sense of self, over time.

Lesson Learned

The lesson to learn from this realisation is to be wary of wolves in sheep’s clothing trying to manipulate their way into our hearts. Make sure your attachments are worthy of your feelings.

Is Fear holding you back?

Fear results from a perceived devaluation of self, which also includes anything we’re attached to, such as ideas, beliefs, people, memories, our body’s, even our favourite football team etc. Fear is an evolutionary emotion that triggers our fight or flight response to keep our “self” alive (preserve life).

Although we can still face life threatening situations, they are less common than they were when we fighting sabre tooth tigers.

Because we absorb things we value into our “sense of self”, we can feel the same fear that we experience when our life may actually be threatened, in none life threatening situations, such as talking in public, and watching our favourite team participating in a penalty shoot out.

In life, fear can hold us back from pursuing our Goals by fooling us into thinking, we won’t be good enough, or we’ll be happier staying where we are.

In business, fear of taking action can be a result of a perceived devaluation of our sense of self:
• Failing, and not being as capable as we would like to believe we are (feel bad due devalued “sense of self”)
• Not being able to cope with the demands of our success (devaluation of “control” due to loss of control, “harmony” and devaluation to “family life”)
• Having to spend all our time working (devaluation of “family” and “leisure time”)
• Fear of the unknown (possible devaluation of “harmony” or “comfort zone”)

Manage FEAR and conflicts by identifying them, acknowledging and working through them to resolution. If your goal doesn’t accommodate what you fear you will lose in achieving it, you will remain torn.

There is always a way to achieving a goal and resolving any fears you may have in the acquisition of that goal, which are, after all, only real in your mind.

Jim Carey said it best

“There is a huge difference between a dog that is going to eat you in your mind and an actual dog that is GOING TO EAT YOU”.

Check out iamspirituality.com for more information about how your emotions work, and listen to Jim Carey’s speech below for some inspiration in following your goals. Choose Love over Fear.

If you would like to read more articles focused on FEAR, click here.

For more about MOTIVATION.