Shifting Perspective

Get Results: Perspective
Get Results: Perspective

Have you ever wondered why quotation graphics are so popular on social media channels? Maybe it’s because they allow us to shift our perspective to some degree. To look at an issue or subject from a different viewpoint. When we see a quote that says something like:

“People aren’t against you, they are for themselves”

It brings a different dimension to our thinking. We maybe get a glimpse of a different way of perceiving. I personally don’t think that’s a bad thing. We should continually question our assumptions, beliefs and values. After all where do they originate? Are they our thoughts or those of other people, that have influenced us in some way?

Our thoughts largely come from the world around us, our experiences shape them. We use our experiences to construct a framework of understanding, so that we feel safe to navigate through life. We emotionally buy into the concepts we are drawn to, and look for confirmation our view is accurate, often ignoring counter arguments.

Get Results: success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get
Get Results: success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get

Over to Tony Robbins

I recently watched a couple of Tony Robbins interventions, in which he was attempting to help people in psychological pain. Much of this approach involved psychologically re-framing the painful situation, into a more empowering one.

For instance there was a mother and daughter, who deeply loved one another, but greatly clashed in many of their day to day interactions. The mother had lost another daughter, some years before. That daughter had been the perfect daughter from the mother’s point of view, someone she got along with very easily, they just seemed to be perfect company for one another.

The mother, found the character of the second daughter to be more problematic, describing her as highly strung, and a control freak, basically finding her difficult to be around, partly because of the mothers own shortcomings.

The mother admitted she was much at fault for their problems, described herself as being badly organised, often late for appointments, which completely drove the second daughter crazy with rage.

So although the two loved one another, both found it difficult to spend time with each other, and rubbed each other up the wrong way. Tony uncovered through questioning the two ladies, that the second daughter had felt rejected by the mother because she wasn’t the model daughter her sister had been. She felt guilty she was the way she was, and hated herself for the fact she loved her mother so much and didn’t feel she could live up to her sisters standards, and that her mother didn’t love her back in the same way as she had her sister.

Get Results: if you can't change your circumstances, change your perspective
Get Results: if you can’t change your circumstances, change your perspective

The mother missed the easy going daughter, and felt some regret that the second daughter wasn’t easier to get on with. Tony explained that as life doesn’t happen to us but rather for us, and the second daughter was in fact the very thing the mother needed in her life, and that she should appreciate her second daughter for what she could learn from her to be a better person. That intervention drastically re-framed the relationship in both mother and daughters minds, and they gained a great appreciation for one another after the intervention. The mother realised her daughters anger actually came from a place of deep love. The daughter realised her mother was mainly angry about her own shortcomings, and inability to match the daughters strict standards.

This is a great example of shifting perspective. Stop fixating on the negatives and start focusing on the positives.

Getting outside help

I think sometimes we need the intervention of a third party to help us see through difficult emotions and give us permission to believe in a positive re-framing of a situation. We don’t always believe in something until we hear it from someone else that maybe isn’t directly part of that situation. Maybe this is why many find comfort visiting counsellors or therapists.

Being your own third party

I sometimes like to think about how I would advise someone else going through something I am having difficulty with, it seems to help me change perspective and see it as a non-involved party. Most of us are good at giving advice to others, but struggle when we find ourselves directly involved. Emotions are usually the reason why this is the case.

Give yourself some space to take a more objective view, instead of letting the emotions rule your thoughts.

For more about motivational influences, check out our Motivation guide.

If you would like to read more articles focused on SHIFTING PERSPECTIVE, click here.

Get Results: shift in perspective, Effort never dies
Get Results: shift in perspective, Effort never dies
Get Results: shift in perspective, First attempt in learning
Get Results: shift in perspective, First attempt in learning
Get Results: shift in perspective, next opportunity
Get Results: shift in perspective, next opportunity

Change Perspective Quotes

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” – Dr Wayne Dyer

“Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.”

“You have the capacity to change your life all with a simple shift in perspective.” – Demi Lovato

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.”

“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” – Seth Godin

“You give meaning to your experiences, change the meaning and you change the experience.”

“Change your thinking change your life.”

“Whether a glass is half full or is half empty is nothing to do with the glass or its contents, but rather the story you choose to tell yourself about it. Changing the story changes your perspective.”

“People come into your life as either a blessing or a lesson.”

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” – Seneca

“Everything we hear is an opinion not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective not the truth.”

“People rely on stories they believe about themselves. You can change your story.”

“Life is a test, tests show what you’re made of, if you let it defeat you, then it will, if you want it to teach you, it will.” – getresults.org.uk

“The things you really need are few and easy to come by: but the things you can imagine you need are infinite and you will never be satisfied.” – Epicurus

Use Negativity To Drive Action

Get Results: Motivation requires use of negative emotions to drive action
Get Results: Motivation requires use of negative emotions to drive action

Fear and pain is often the very thing that can stop you pursuing your dreams, by contrast, it is often the most powerful catalyst for change. Let’s look at a few examples…..

Regret

Missed opportunities, like what you didn’t do when you had the chance, is often quoted to be one of the greatest pains, when people look back on their lives. We tend to regret what we didn’t do over what we did do, that didn’t work out. Fear of regret however can help to strengthen our motivation to “take action”. Focus on how you will feel, if you fail to give-it-a-go. Visualise your regret, and use that to drive you into action.

Escaping Pain

When you can’t take any more, when you’ve had enough. “No more” you say. This is regularly the point of change. You just can’t take the negativity, the draining negative emotions of a situation. You might feel trapped, frustrated, possessed, and you want to escape to a different reality. It can take years to get to this point of no return, but change happens in an instant, when we decide it has to.

Embarrassment

Loss of credibility or being seen as a failure by others is a big motivator for most people. Put yourself in a situation where you have to deliver on your promise, by declaring a target, a goal and let the fear of failing, drive you into action. Accountability partners, and/or social groups like weight watchers are great examples of this kind of motivation.

Something to prove

How people are viewed by others is a big deal for many, if you’re cast in a negative light, or are seen as less than we feel you should be, you might feel the need to prove a point. Have you got something to prove? How about proving that you can set your mind to something and see it through to a successful conclusion. Use this drive to motivate you into action.

We often ridicule negative emotions, and try to avoid them, but as we’ve pointed out, they can be used to help you take positive action, as you reach for your goals.

For more about motivational influences, check out our Motivation guide.

“This Too Will Pass”

Get Results: This too will pass
Get Results: This too will pass

“This too will pass” is an old sufi story, that teaches us not to form strong emotional attachments to “form” (thoughts, ideas, mental positions, possessions, even people) because all forms are transient, and change is an inevitable part of life. Thing break, ideas change, people move in and out of our  lives.

Situations

If we’re in a good place, we want to stay there as long as possible, if we’re in a bad place we want to escape it as soon as possible. The truth is, nothing will stay the same, good or bad. We should enjoy the good times while they are there to be enjoyed, and should take strength from the fact that the bad times will not endure forever.

This isn’t to say we should sit back and do nothing, if we find ourselves struggling or in a unhappy place, we should do what we can to escape, and in doing the “right things” consistently, we’ll move away from the feeling of being trapped or stuck.

False sense of self

So attachments are formed when you invest a sense of self in them. You use “my”, “mine”, “our”, when you talk about them. They become an extension of you. When they are threatened, damaged, stolen, you feel pain. If your attachment is particularly strong, you become really upset.

Attachments to people

With regards to strong attachments to people, I’m not saying you can’t get close to people for fear of losing them, not at all, love is what makes life so joyful, but understand they are not an extension of you. They are not yours, like a possession, “my wife”, “my kids”. This identification is what lies behind great pain. They don’t belong to you, they are not yours to possess, they are their own being.

Enjoy, share, love, just don’t make them an extension of you, a false sense of self.

“Is that so” – a Zen Parable

Get Results: Is that so a zen parable
Get Results: Is that so a zen parable

This great little Zen parable teaches us to avoid “resistance”, and to go with the flow of life, good or bad.

Resistance to “what is…” only brings additional pain and suffering, if we are able to be in complete acceptance of the reality of what is happening to us, when it’s happening, then sadness, or anger that comes from feeling injustice, “why me” goes away.

Check out our well-being and spirituality guide for more information

“Maybe” – a Zen Parable

Get Results: Maybe a Zen Parable
Get Results: Maybe a Zen Parable

I love “Maybe” the Zen parable, which teaches us not to be so quick to label and judge anything that happens to us as either good or bad. Without knowing what is still to come we have no way of really knowing the reality of the situation.

If we miss one door opening, who is to say another, even better one isn’t awaiting us, further down the road, which means the missed opportunity turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

When we label and judge something, an event or situation, we base that opinion on our expectations or preferences, and in doing so, we are playing into what is commonly known as the “pain gap”.

The pain gap is the difference between our expectations/ preferences and our reality as we perceive it, regarding a situation or event. If there is an imbalance between the two, we feel a negative emotion.

For our well-being, we should avoid imposing preconceived expectations or preferences onto situations. We should instead be prepared to ride the waves of life, and be fully accepting of what comes our way. Stop resisting “what is” and accept it for what it is, after all it’s here and resisting it, by wishing it wasn’t so, really doesn’t make it go away.

Sure, aim to get out of undesirable circumstances and situations, but face what life is giving us in the moment, accept it fully, face it, feel it and then move forwards positively to get out of it.

Check out our well-being/spirituality guide for more information

The Ingredients of Productivity

Get results: Productivity - focus on being productive instead of busy
Get results: Productivity – focus on being productive instead of busy

Productivity is one of the most important pillars of getting results, it involves being effective with productive effort, and measures the rate of output per unit of input. To put it another way, it’s about getting the most out of your time and effort, by aiming for the most effective use of your resources.

Get Results: Productivity requires doing the one thing...
Get Results: Productivity requires doing the one thing… (click on the poster for more info)
Get Results: Productivity requires time blocking your one thing
Get Results: Productivity requires time blocking your one thing
Get Results: Productivity requires being organised
Get Results: Productivity requires being organised
Get Results: Productivity requires minimising dead space
Get Results: Productivity requires minimising dead space
Get Results: Productivity requires focusing on present moment behaviour and action
Get Results: Productivity requires focusing on present moment behaviour and action
Get Results: Productivity requires measuring outcomes over activities
Get Results: Productivity requires measuring outcomes over activities
Get Results: Productivity requires better decision making and problem solving
Get Results: Productivity requires better decision making and problem solving (click on the poster for more info)
Get Results: Productivity requires exploiting your innate talents
Get Results: Productivity requires exploiting your innate talents
Get Results: Productivity requires having a defined goal
Get Results: Productivity requires having a defined goal (click on the poster for more info)
Get Results: Productivity requires using - goal, plan, action, measure, tweak approach
Get Results: Productivity requires using – goal, plan, action, measure, tweak approach
Get Results: Productivity requires knowledge and skill
Get Results: Productivity requires knowledge and skill (click on poster for more info)
Get Results: Productivity requires effective techniques and systems
Get Results: Productivity requires effective techniques and systems
Get Results: Productivity requires effective tools, equipment, and resources
Get Results: Productivity requires effective tools, equipment, and resources
Get Results: Productivity requires quality inputs, raw materials
Get Results: Productivity requires quality inputs, raw materials
Get Results: Productivity requires control mechanisms
Get Results: Productivity requires control mechanisms

Productivity Quotes

“Focus on being productive instead of busy.” – Tim Ferriss

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

“I don’t have time is the grown-up version of the dog ate my homework.”

“If we boost productivity, we can improve economic growth.” – Tony Abbott

“Success is not a miracle, but a product of productivity, positivity and persistent thinking.” – Lawrence Mudau

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” – Antoine de saint-Exupery

“It’s not about being the best, it’s about being better than you were yesterday.”

“Time you spent thinking about doing something takes away the time you have to actually do it.”

“A smooth sea never made a skilful sailor.”

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney

“Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning and focused effort.” – Paul J. Meyer

“Don’t wait for opportunity. Create it.”

“Nothing will work unless you do.” – John Wooden

“We all have the same number of hours in a day, make them count.”

“The man who makes no mistakes doesn’t usually make anything.” – Edward Phelps

“I like things to happen, and if they don’t happen, I like to make them happen. ”

“Productivity is being able to do things that you were never able to do before.” – Franz Kafka

“There is no substitute for hard work.”

“Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.”

“Start by doing what’s necessary, then do what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”

“When things aren’t adding up in your life, start subtracting.” – Anon

“if you wait to be perfect, you’ll never get anything done.”

“Perform the dreaded take now and the unpleasant activity is soon over. Delayed action will nag at you infinitely.”

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Alan Kay

“To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.” – Sir Winston Churchill

“The secret to getting ahead … is to get started.”

“Dreams don’t work unless you do.”

“It’s not always that we need to be more, but rather that we need to focus on less.” – Nathan W. Morris

“Time is the scarcest resource and unless it is managed nothing else can be managed.” – Peter Drucker

“Don’t confuse activity with productivity. Many people are simply busy being busy.” – Robin Sharma

“The best way to get something done is to begin.”

Commitment: Being Committed To Your Goal(s)

Get Results: commitment
Get Results: commitment

It’s all too easy for people to say they are committed 110% or 1000% to see something through to conclusion, it’s often a different matter actually executing on that promise. For a start you can’t give more than 100%, so let’s get that out of the way first. We all know the promise of giving it 1000% is designed to communicate your determination to see whatever it is through, but it’s ridiculous, so please don’t do it, you’re likely to diminish any credibility you might otherwise have.

So being committed to achieving a goal, or getting a certain result is necessary if you’re going to succeed, but what does it involve?

Commitment consists of dedication, determination, enthusiasm, purposefulness, passion, desire, dedication and focus, it also requires some level of accountability.

Purposefulness

If you’re purposeful, you have some sort of goal in mind, something you want to achieve. You’re focused on the attainment of that goal, no matter what. It’s like having a burning desire that won’t go away. It’s not having something you’d rather like to do, if the opportunity presented itself, or something you would rather, kind of like to do. If you’re wishy washy about your goal, you aren’t going to have the necessary endurance to apply yourself anywhere near enough to make it a reality.

Purposefulness is better if your purpose is meaningful to you. If you perceive it to be important, a cause that’s bigger than yourself, that will make a difference to other people or society at large. These are examples of the usual inspirational purposes that many people aspire to, and why not, they show you are making a noticeable contribution, even leaving a legacy, and that’s no bad thing. However purpose doesn’t have to be so big and meaningful, it can be a matter of getting out of debt, or making enough money for your next vacation, as long as it means something to you, and you really want it, that’s what counts.

Purposefulness has two sides, enthusiasm and determination.

Determination

When the going is tough, when you lack the motivation, or inspiration to take effective action, when you come face to face with a seemingly impassable road block, or a glass ceiling that’s difficult to break through, what you need at those times, is determination. You need a can-do attitude, you need grit and resilience, and it helps if you have a burning purpose behind you.

If you don’t believe in what you’re doing, you’re likely to prematurely throw in the towel at the first sign of difficulty. It will be just too hard to overcome and too easy to make up excuses why it’s not worth the effort, discomfort, or trouble. You’ll have no staying power, when you need it most.

The other face of purposefulness, is enthusiasm

Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm should exist when the road is clear, and the going is good. If you can’t enjoy those moments of flow, you’re doing something incongruent with who you are and your deeper self. If you don’t feel excited, joyful, engrossed when you think about your purpose than it isn’t a purpose you really believe in. Would you do it for no monetary gain? Would you do it just for the joy of doing it? If you answer a resounding yes to these two questions, you’re on the right path.

Dedication and focus

When you’re committed to something, you’re dedicated to it, and that means you’re focused or even fixated on it. You would rather be doing whatever it is, than anything else. Now I don’t advocate losing yourself in anything 100%, because I’m a firm believer that you should live partially in “the moment”, and outside what you are doing, check out my wellbeing guide for more about this. You should however be excited, dedicated and focused in doing whatever it is you’re committed to doing, and be as productive as possible in making progress.

I could say things like “don’t be half pregnant”, “be all-in”, or “burn your bridges”, so that you can’t go back or deviate. If you do this you have to make it work, you either sink or swim as the saying goes. I wouldn’t recommend this without knowing your particular circumstances or tolerance for risk, but it is a way to really focus your attention and solidifying your commitment and dedication to your cause.

Avoid distractions and temptations

Avoid distractions and temptations, they will only lead you astray. as they are often difficult to resist. It often takes a great deal of will-power, which is finite. The best of us will struggle, if our willpower is not fully charged, even with the best intentions. So try to avoid situations that present distractions and/or temptations altogether.

Be accountable for your actions and results

Sometimes we need a push from some outside influence, or we need the help of someone else to encourage us, or chastise us. Looming deadlines often do the trick, we have a project or assignment that needs to be done by a particular date, so we cram to get it done, at the last minute and just in time. If we fail we are held to account by our poor results.

Make use of someone close to you, someone you respect a great deal, and whose opinion you value, and who you want to have a good opinion of you. Get them to hold you to account for your progress and results. Promise them you’re going to do X by Y date, and have them hold you to account for your results. If you fail, they will know and you will feel bad. If they don’t instil that kind of reaction in you, find someone who will. This is one reason why social groups like slimmer’s world and the likes, are so successful, slimmer’s are held to account, by regular public weigh-ins. Nobody wants to look like a failure in front of others. It’s often the extra motivational push you need to get you over the line.

Formulate a plan, take action.

Whatever your goal is, you have to have some idea how you’re going to achieve it. You need some sort of plan of action, even if it’s quite loose in its construction. No plan should be so rigid that you can’t make adjustments as you progress, but it shouldn’t be so loose that you find yourself backtracking so much that you’re barely making progress. Take some time to work it through, step-by-step as if you were there actually doing it. What needs to be in place for each stage, visualise it, be there, if you do it correctly you’ll be surprised what details come to mind. This will make execution that little bit easier later.

After formulating a plan, the critical stage comes next, taking action. Without it you’re going nowhere. Don’t procrastinate, or over-plan. Your actions will provide feedback and insight as you go. Learn from them and keep taking action. Look at failure along the way as part of the feedback loop, and keep going, be committed and make it happen.

For more about motivational influences, check out our Motivation guide.

If you would like to read more articles focused on COMMITMENT, click here.

Being Committed Quotes

“You must be committed and do what it takes, then you will have what you want.”

“Most people fail, not because of lack of desire, but because of lack of commitment.” – Vince Lombardi

“Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality.” – Abraham Lincoln

“Commitment leads to action. Action brings your dreams closer.” – Marcia Wieder

“We become whatever we are committed to.”

“There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re commited to something, you accept no excuses, only results.” – kenneth Blanchard

“Stay committed to your decisions. But stay flexible in your approach.” – Tony Robbins

“Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you.”

“You need to make a commitment, and once you make it, then life will give you some answers.”

“There’s no abiding success without commitment.” – Tony Robbins

“When you’re committed, you do whatever it takes.”

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead

“Commitment. This is my favorite word because in some way, people who are committed are always much more interesting and much more reliable, and much more, I would say, deep than people who are not.” – Carlos Ghosn

“Without commitment, you will throw in the towel when the going gets tough enough. With it, there is nothing that can stop you from trying.” – getresults.org.uk

The Suffering of Mankind

Get Results: thinking instead of feeling
Get Results: Thinking instead of Feeling

If you refuse to put other people first, you’re failing
If you want to beat another, you’re failing
If you’re bitter, angry, or sad you’re failing
If you’re fearful, you’re failing
If you’re lost in the past, you’re failing
If you want the future more than the present, you’re failing.
If you hate, you’re failing
If you dislike, you’re failing
If you need more or better, you’re failing
If you don’t want a certain other near you, you’re failing
If you don’t give a s**t, you’re failing
If you wish harm on others, you’re failing
If you’re resisting “what is”, you’re failing
If you’re judging others, you’re failing
If you’re labelling others, you’re failing

All these failings exist in the mind, in thought. The more you think the more you fail. Thought initiates feeling. We feel bad because we think bad. If you shortcut thought and go straight to feeling, you cut out pain.
Feeling is “now”, being in “the moment”, feeling life, feeling wonder, feeling alive. Feeling without thought.
If you think this is boll**ks you’re thinking and failing, again.

For more info check out our spirituality and wellbeing guide

There’s Knowledge and there’s Knowledge

Get Results: Knowledge
Get Results: Knowledge

There’s two types of knowledge you can have, the first is knowledge that’s wide and shallow, like general knowledge. The person with this type of knowledge, knows a reasonable amount about a lot of things. They might include diverse topics or be more closely related, something like the knowledge held by a GP doctor is an example of this type of knowledge set.

Then there’s knowledge that’s narrow and deep. This is specialist knowledge that is obtained by studying a specific topic for many years. These people might not know much else other than their area of expertise. And given enough knowledge about a particular subject, this is were expertise resides.

There are arguments for gaining both types of knowledge. Business owners, particularly small business owners are usually better with a reasonable knowledge about a lot of business related functions. They can, after all employ experts to do particular functions that require more specialised knowledge.

You could argue that running a business is a specific skill in itself and can be developed into expertise, but I guess it’s all relative. You have a finite amount of time to learn an infinite amount of possible things. The fun, I guess is deciding what best fits in with your long term plans.

If you want to be a business person, you need to learn what’s needed to be a successful business person, and focus on that until you’re as good as you can be. Maybe learning to be a good recruiter (of labour and freelancers) is more valuable than acquiring the knowledge to be able to do those particular functions yourself.

Should you spend your limited time, acquiring the knowledge for implementing an effective marketing strategy, understanding the principles that drive human psychology, so you know an effective advert and offer when you see one. Or should you spend your time gathering the knowledge and perfecting the skill to be able to create great visuals for your adverts, and write amazingly persuasive copy that entices your audience to your offer, for yourself, so you can be self sufficient.

These are the kind of choices you need to make in your pursuit of knowledge. It all depends on what you’re trying to achieve, I guess. It’s all about prioritising, which is dependant on what you’re trying to achieve as part of your end game (goal).

 

 

Stop Being a Victim and Start Being a Victor

Get Results: Be a victim or a victor
Get Results: Be a victim or a victor

Life is full of ups and downs. Some things we can influence, others not so much. Many situations will be made up of winners and losers. It’s just the way life rolls.

You might not always be able to dictate the terms of your life, but the one thing you have complete control over is how you deal with the ebbs and flows.

You can either position yourself psychologically as a victor or a victim.

Victim

The blame game

Victim mentality looks for other people or other things to blame for failure. They blame their circumstances, their lack of support, resources, money, time, know-how, their boss, they just blame. Blame helps to make the individual feel better, because it wasn’t their fault. One of the hardest things to admit is your own inadequacies. It’s really hard to look yourself in the mirror and admit you messed up at some point. Your Ego would rather cover up your shortcomings and have you believe the blame is over there, somewhere else.

Excuses are useless

Victim mentality is quick to find excuses for why things didn’t fall right for you, or didn’t work out the way you wanted, and for the same reason as pointed out when discussing “blame”, it’s just easier to do.

Denial is delusion

Denial is another self preservation tactic. Burying your head in the sand and hoping it goes away is a form of self delusion, failing to admit the reality of the situation is another.

Victim mentality is aimed at self protection, it’s a defensive tactic aimed at cushioning the blow. If you admit you were wrong your subconscious sees this as a big deal, cause if your wrong in a life or death situation, you could be toast. Your mind, doesn’t want to admit this could be the case, cause that’s what the minds there to do, keep you safe. It’s better to delude yourself, that way you can move on more quickly and try to forget about the whole sorry episode.

It’s easier to blame, excuse or deny, rather than have to look deeper into where the mistakes really lay, so laziness is part of the problem when it comes to a lack of self-analysis.

Live to be a Victor

If you take a Victor mentality, you empower yourself to really look at what went wrong and why. You might not be a victor of the situation, in that you haven’t won in absolute terms, in fact you’re likely to have lost. But by taking a victor mentality, you can at least learn any lessons that are there to learn.

Negative situations are inevitable at some time in your  life. S**t happens, but feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t really serve over a prolonged period. Feel the grief of loss, feel the hurt, sure you should always face it full on and deal with it, but then learn what needs to be learned and move forward. Don’t hold on to the past negativity, just take the lessons forward with you.

Unless it’s a real life and death situation, most things are not that important in the great scheme of things. Money can be earned again, stuff can be replaced. “People”, and “Time are the two things worthy of real grief, and while they are beyond the scope of this article, even they should not be seen as a dead-end that can not be moved beyond. They surely can, with the right “victor” mentality.

The law of opposites says there are always positives in any negative, if you look hard enough and approach from an empowered perspective. Take ownership and responsibility. It’s your job, nobody else’s. Sure use the support of those closest to you to help you through emotionally, but don’t expect them to provide the answers for you, the solutions are within you, they are there, if you open to them.

So instead of playing the victim, blaming, excusing and denying, take ownership, take responsibility and be accountable for the situations you find yourself in, and use them as your strength for improvement and progress.