Life is full of ups and downs. Some things we can influence, others not so much. Many situations will be made up of winners and losers. It’s just the way life rolls.
You might not always be able to dictate the terms of your life, but the one thing you have complete control over is how you deal with the ebbs and flows.
You can either position yourself psychologically as a victor or a victim.
Victim
The blame game
Victim mentality looks for other people or other things to blame for failure. They blame their circumstances, their lack of support, resources, money, time, know-how, their boss, they just blame. Blame helps to make the individual feel better, because it wasn’t their fault. One of the hardest things to admit is your own inadequacies. It’s really hard to look yourself in the mirror and admit you messed up at some point. Your Ego would rather cover up your shortcomings and have you believe the blame is over there, somewhere else.
Excuses are useless
Victim mentality is quick to find excuses for why things didn’t fall right for you, or didn’t work out the way you wanted, and for the same reason as pointed out when discussing “blame”, it’s just easier to do.
Denial is delusion
Denial is another self preservation tactic. Burying your head in the sand and hoping it goes away is a form of self delusion, failing to admit the reality of the situation is another.
Victim mentality is aimed at self protection, it’s a defensive tactic aimed at cushioning the blow. If you admit you were wrong your subconscious sees this as a big deal, cause if your wrong in a life or death situation, you could be toast. Your mind, doesn’t want to admit this could be the case, cause that’s what the minds there to do, keep you safe. It’s better to delude yourself, that way you can move on more quickly and try to forget about the whole sorry episode.
It’s easier to blame, excuse or deny, rather than have to look deeper into where the mistakes really lay, so laziness is part of the problem when it comes to a lack of self-analysis.
Live to be a Victor
If you take a Victor mentality, you empower yourself to really look at what went wrong and why. You might not be a victor of the situation, in that you haven’t won in absolute terms, in fact you’re likely to have lost. But by taking a victor mentality, you can at least learn any lessons that are there to learn.
Negative situations are inevitable at some time in your life. S**t happens, but feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t really serve over a prolonged period. Feel the grief of loss, feel the hurt, sure you should always face it full on and deal with it, but then learn what needs to be learned and move forward. Don’t hold on to the past negativity, just take the lessons forward with you.
Unless it’s a real life and death situation, most things are not that important in the great scheme of things. Money can be earned again, stuff can be replaced. “People”, and “Time are the two things worthy of real grief, and while they are beyond the scope of this article, even they should not be seen as a dead-end that can not be moved beyond. They surely can, with the right “victor” mentality.
The law of opposites says there are always positives in any negative, if you look hard enough and approach from an empowered perspective. Take ownership and responsibility. It’s your job, nobody else’s. Sure use the support of those closest to you to help you through emotionally, but don’t expect them to provide the answers for you, the solutions are within you, they are there, if you open to them.
So instead of playing the victim, blaming, excusing and denying, take ownership, take responsibility and be accountable for the situations you find yourself in, and use them as your strength for improvement and progress.
This article is about taking back responsibility for your actions and results. Without this your results will be limited, based on someone else’s agenda and out of your hands.
Before we talk about why taking responsibility is important, I thought I’d describe what people are doing instead of taking responsibility.
Not even trying
When people try to do something important they have to feel it is within their power and capability to get the job done. If they don’t feel confident they can see it though, they are much less likely to even make a start at it. It becomes a pipe dream with little chance of realisation.
Sure some things can be delegated to experts to do for you, and that’s fine if that’s the case, but the responsibility for finding that expert is still yours, and if that expert turns out to be a failure, it’s your fault.
Complaining
People are quick to make judgements about how external influences impact their lives. They like to complain about all sorts of things, such as what the government is doing to them, what their local councils are doing to them, what their neighbours, their boss. their work colleagues, their friends and family are doing to them. They complain about the weather, the traffic, suppliers, customers, big business, other voters, the car, the train service providers, other motorists, the list goes on. We like to complain, particularly in Britain, where we’re a nation of complainers. The recent EU referendum has perfectly illustrated the fact that we like to complain about others for the mess we find ourselves in now. “It was the leave campaign that got us into this mess”. “They lied to us”.
Blaming
People are always blaming external elements for making their lives more difficult. They use all sorts of excuses why they didn’t achieve something, or to blame failure on some external event, person or thing. They didn’t have enough support, didn’t get the breaks, got let down by a supplier, bank bailed on them, weather ruined the day, lacked the time, money, knowledge, resources, got duped, were mis-sold.
We resist change
Many of us push against change because we hate uncertainty and ambiguity. We like to think we are safe in our comfort zone, we’re familiar with our surroundings and what is expected of us. There is a perception of stability in the status quo. In reality this is an illusion, particularly with the way technology is impacting all our lives. Things are moving faster, and we have to be prepared to move with them, otherwise we’re going to be left behind.
Relying on others
People generally like to rely on others for guidance, help and support. Many people like to be followers rather than being leaders, partly because if the proverbial s**t hits the fan, they can blame someone else for the failure. Lots of people don’t like to lift their head above the parapet for fear of being shot down, criticised, rejected. The result is they play it safe and fail to make progress.
Take back Responsibility
Change brings Opportunity
If we don’t push beyond our existing capabilities we’re confined to the world we currently inhabit. Our comfort zone becomes our limit, but as technology impacts our lives more and more that world is going to get a lot smaller over a short amount of time. To push beyond our little bubble, we have to break through our boundaries. This can be scary, because we are conditioned for self-preservation, and part of this means we prefer certainty and the status quo over change and uncertainty which brings with it, risk. We as human beings hate risk, and the unknown because risk equals danger. Instead see change as opportunity. There will always be winners and losers in any given situation. mentally position yourself to be on the winning side, by looking to take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves. Be predator of opportunity rather than a victim of circumstance.
Complaining and Blaming are pointless
What good does blaming someone or something else for a failing do anyway? It might temporarily make you feel better about yourself because someone else messed up, it wasn’t you, phew. But after that initial relief, where does that leave you. You still haven’t achieved your aim. Instead you’ve tricked yourself into staying put and accepted the failure, instead of learning from and moving beyond it.
Abdicating control of the situation, and believing your life is subject to some unalterable master plan is also dis-empowering. Burying your head in the sand, might fool you, but the reality of the situation is unchanged. Having a victim mentality, blaming external circumstances for your problems, believing it’s not within your power to change, is the surest way to avoid improving your life.
Failing to take responsibility only delegates control, responsibility for your life still resides within you (whether you like it or not).
When you complain about or blame others or something else, you’re trying to pass responsibility to that same thing. In doing so you also pass power. The very power you need to be able to deal with it.
Eckart Tolle rounded it perfectly when he said “When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.”
Be determined to win
When you say to yourself, whatever goes wrong is down to me, you allow yourself to take ownership. Instead of fearing failure, embrace it, learn from it and make it the fuel to power through and find a way to succeed.
Instead of allowing glass ceilings, plateaus, and obstacle to defeat you, accept the challenge and find a solution to overcome them. If you fail again, come at it from a different angle, keep going, don’t use external elements as an excuse to give up.
Conclusion
It’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s what you do about it that counts. Stop blaming circumstances, it’s not circumstances, it’s you. Really, it’s you. Things won’t improve unless you do. You know, the truth is liberating because you can have more than you’ve got because you can become more than you are. The other side of the coin, unless you change what you are, you’ll always have what you’ve got. It’s not a lack of resources (money, time, experience, support, skills, opportunities, connections) that’s the problem, it’s a lack of resourcefulness, by you, to find a way through. The only way to make progress is to take back responsibility for your actions and results. Rely on one person to take charge of your destiny, and that has to be you.
It’s fine to get outside help from experts, but know that it’s your responsibility to make sure they are up for the challenge. If they fail, it’s because of you. You didn’t get the right person for the right price. You have to take responsibility for your life, after all it’s yours, nobody else’s. Don’t fear the challenge, embrace it, be excited by it.
Get Results: take responsibility
For more about motivational influences, check out our Motivation guide.
If you would like to read more articles focused on TAKING RESPONSIBILITY, click here.
“There are winners and losers in every situation. Instead of complaining and blaming, make sure you’re mentally and emotionally positioned to win. Be a PREDATOR of CHANCE rather than a VICTIM of CIRCUMSTANCE.”
Get Results: be a predator of chance
“BLAMING and COMPLAINING are excuses not to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. They are COPING STRATEGIES for failure, they are a CHOICE to play the role of victim. Without them you have the power you need to TAKE ACTION and SUCCEED.”
Get Results: Take Responsibility
“Make Things happen by doing what matters.”
Get Results: Make things happen by doing what matters
Take Responsibility Quotes
“Placing the blame or judgement on some else leaves you powerless to change your experience: TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for your beliefs and judgements give you the power to change them.”
“Passing blame passes power to do something about it. Take responsibility.”
“More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren’t so busying denying them.”
“The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you can change anything in your life.” – Hal Elrod
“It can be a painful thing to look at your own trouble and know that you yourself and one one else has made it. But not admitting it, doesn’t change the fact. Instead own it, learn from it and move forward.”
“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.”
“You’re free to do whatever you want, but you should always take responsibility for the consequences of your choices in life.”
“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” – Dr Denis Waitley
“The more you take responsibility for your past and present, the more you are able to create the future you seek.”
“Your attention please: No one is coming to save you. This life of yours is 100% your responsibility, whether you accept it or not.”
“Responsibility is the price of freedom.” – Elbert Hubbard
“When you choose your behaviour, you choose your consequences.” – Dr Phil
“Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go. No one else.”
“Part of getting a second change is taking responsibility for what you did wrong in the first place.”
“There are valuable lessons to learn from failure, but in order to learn them, you have to take responsibility for them.”
“Responsibility shouldn’t be considered a burden, it’s a consequence of your freedom.”
“With freedom, comes responsibility.”
“Responsibility: the ability to choose your response.”
When people say they can’t do something because they don’t have the time, don’t know enough, lack experience, lack money, support, or don’t have the right manager etc what they are really saying is they don’t have the necessary resources. In truth, what they really lack is resourcefulness. They lack the resourcefulness to find a way to get where they want to go in spite of the obstacles and difficulties that stand in their way.
Resourcefulness is the ability to overcome challenges by creatively finding ways to make progress in spite of challenges. It means solving problems with the resources you have at your disposal, making the best of what you have and doing more with less.
Take responsibility
In order to put yourself in the right frame of mind, you should take full responsibility for finding a solution. If you pass responsibility to someone else, you also pass the power to do something about it. You then find you’re waiting around for them to come up with answers and you’re inevitably likely to be disappointed. Even if they do come through for you, relying on someone else to find the answers for you means that you’re not developing your own “resourcefulness”.
The more you practice being resourceful, the better you’ll get at it. It’s a skill, that improves the more you use it. So take ownership of it and start to build a new, and very worthwhile skill. People are paid a lot of money for being resourceful, think trouble-shooters and business turn-around managers. It’s a highly demanded commercial skill, as well as an invaluable skill for your own life.
Be Proactive
Be on the front foot, rather than waiting for things to drop in your lap. This relates to taking responsibility (covered above). When you’re actively taking the initiative, you’ll be surprised how ideas and solutions come to you.
Be creative
Creativity requires you to be open minded and able to stand back and see things from a different perspective. Use your strengths, abilities, knowledge, tools, networks and other resources to approach and tackle the situation from a variety of angles, such as using unconventional approaches and/or reapplying other experience, to the present situation. Using a variety of problems solving techniques such as brainstorming may also help, check some out here.
Be Driven
When you’re inspired to see things through, you’ll find a way. Drive carries with it the courage, passion, commitment, persistence, determination and tenacity that you’ll need to overcome difficult challenges. If it has been done before, it can be done again.
Use your Connections
We can’t be expected to know it all, and that’s were other people can help. Use your existing connections for assistance, such as friends, family and colleagues, ask them for help and advice, you might be surprised what hidden connections, skills and resources people you thought you knew, might have. Also try to forge new connections where possible, sometimes reaching out to strangers can be surprisingly productive.
Summary
Improving your results comes down to many factors including the acquisition of knowledge, being motivated enough to power through any challenges you inevitably meet on your journey and being super productive, so that you’re doing the important things to ensure you get where you want to be. A big part of motivation and productivity is being resourceful. Without resourcefulness, you’re likely to be defeated by the the inevitable obstacles and challenges that come your way. However if you can harness your resourcefulness, you can overcome most anything. First take responsibility, then look for creative approaches to problem solving. Be proactive and driven to get the job done to a positive conclusion.
I’ll finish this article off with an example from my own experience using resourcefulness. When I was in the process of needing a new car, some years ago, I discovered that personal loans were running at 12% APR and for the car I wanted, the monthly repayments would be running at £250 a month, which at the time, was too much for me. So I looked around for alternatives.
I discovered a credit card that had 5.6% APR for the life of the balance, which was applicable for balance transfers only. The only problem was, I could only enjoy the deal if I purchased the car on another card, then transferred it to the 5.6% card.
None of my other cards had a big enough credit limit to buy the car on. So I explained the situation to a good friend of mine who offered to buy the car on their card. I checked, and it was okay to transfer off his card, so that’s what I did.
I then used the 5.6% balance card like a loan and paid a set amount each month, paying just £150, which was more within my means at the time. After a few years I transferred the remaining balance onto an interest free for 2 years card, until it was fully paid. In doing it this way, I saved massively on the amount of interest I paid, I managed to pay a monthly amount that I could afford, and I used credit in a positive way.
I hope this article has shed some light on resourcefulness for you. Please share it with your friends and family if you have found it informative.
For more about motivational influences, check out our Motivation guide.
Finding, increasing and maintaining motivation is vital if you’re going to GET RESULTS. Motivation comes out of a psychological process, made up of two opposing forces, which either push you towards your goal or hold you back from pursuing it. You have largely fear based emotions on the one hand, designed to keep you from harm, but which often hold you back. On the other hand, you have motivational forces that help you take the necessary steps for realising your goals, and getting the results you desire.
Most people find it difficult to overcome the internal struggle that is fought between these opposing forces. We fear too much, so we don’t take action. We want something with all our heart, but we don’t take action, because we’re having to move away from our comfort zone.
When you start to break down the components of motivation, it becomes clear why it is so difficult. We have things like fear, conflict, self-doubt, discomfort, distraction, and temptation fighting against things like commitment, effort, resourcefulness, purpose, desire and determination.
Get Results: opposing motivationsGet Results: force field analysis
TAKING ACTION towards a goal is a must if you’re going to be successful. Knowing what to do and when to do it, is also vitally important. Being effective rather than efficient makes you as productive as possible, but motivation is the key, without it, nothing else is possible or gets done. You have to be motivated to learn what needs to be learned, to spend the hours, weeks, days, months, even years acquiring knowledge, building skill, perfecting talent. You will not take action without motivation. It is the fuel in your tank.
Motivation is made up of a number of ingredients, which will need to be mastered if you’re to move closer to your goal, check them out below …
Some of the posters below, link to more in-depth articles (still on this website) that drill into the subject matter of that poster, in much more detail.
Additionally by subscribing to our email list, we will send our step-by-step process, which will help you get results, and covers motivation and its role in the goal attainment process, among other things. It’s a big picture overview of the process, and is easy to unsubscribe from, whenever you want, so what have you got to lose? Jump on board.
Great giveaway
Additionally and for a limited time only, we are offering our “Get Results Quotes jpeg”, which presents some great inspirational quotes, covering the categories listed below, and is a great motivational reference you can keep with you on your phone. [thrive_2step id=’2645′] CLICK HERE [/thrive_2step] to sign up for it, so we can email the link to you.
Get Results: Motivation requires…being self aware (click poster for more info)
Self awareness is essential in effectively planning the road ahead, gaining insight into why you do what you do, and don’t do what you don’t do. What you’re good at and not so good and and why. For more information about self awareness click here.
Get Results: Motivation requires…being resourceful (click on poster for more info)
Being resourceful is about putting the excuses like “I don’t have the money, or the time, or the experience to do this” to one side and getting the job done, regardless of the difficulties you face. Resourcefulness is about getting results no matter what. For more information about resourcefulness, click here.
Get Results: Motivation requires…taking full responsibility (click poster for more info)
Taking responsibility is about not blaming others or complaining that this or that is getting in your way. It’s about being accountable for your own results. When you make the psychological shift away from playing the role of victim, you empower yourself to get results. For more about taking responsibility, click here.
Get Results: Motivation requires…being committed (click poster for more info)
Being committed is about burning your bridges, taking a focused, determined path forward, without wavering and second guessing yourself. For more about being committed, click here.
Get Results: Motivation requires…having a strong work ethic (click on the poster for more info)
Having a strong work ethic is essential if you’re going to cover the ground from where you are now to where you want to be. For more about having a strong work ethic, click here.
Get Results: Motivation requires…being tuned into intuition (click on poster for more info)
Accessing your intuition is a skill which can be developed over time. Your subconscious knowledge pool is always at work, without your conscious awareness, it’s collecting information, scanning your environment, looking for inconsistencies and abnormalities. Learning to quiet your mind so that you can distinguish between intuition and fear response is something you will get better at over time. For more about intuition, click here.
Get Results: Motivation requires…being able to initiate momentum (click poster for more information)
Getting started is often the hardest part about making change, because over time habit kicks in and makes the behaviour/ action more automatic, check out more about initiating momentum, here.
Get Results: Motivation requires…replacing bad habits with good ones
The easiest way of getting rid of a bad habit is establishing a new good habit. Habits are hard to break because we often don’t think about doing them, they are by their nature, automatic. Most people complain that they struggle with filling the gap left by a habit, so fill the space with a new, more empowering habit, and over time it too will become automatic.
Get Results: Motivation requires… being purposeful
Having purpose requires having a direction, a goal. It gives us a reason to take action, to establish new behaviours, and develop new habits. Without purpose we are like a rudderless boat floating helplessly. Without purpose, there is no motivation to move from the current status quo.
Get Results: Motivation requires…ability to embrace change and risk. (Click on the poster for more information)
To move from where you are now to where you want to be, requires change, and change is often feared because of the uncertainty, risk and danger it is perceived as bringing with it. Learning how to embrace change and risk is key to helping you move forwards. For more about embracing change and risk, click here.
Get Results: Motivation requires… gratitude for your blessings (click on the poster for more info)
No matter where you are in life, whether you are where you ultimately want to be, you have many things to be grateful for, and appreciation shouldn’t be far from the top of your mind. For more about gratitude, click here.
Get Results: motivation requires… being brave to overcome fear (click poster for more info)
Fear is THE dream killer. If you can master fear, the world is your playground. For more about overcoming fear, click here.
Get Results: Motivation requires…freedom from inner conflict (click for more info)
Inner conflict can occur on both a subconscious level as well as a conscious level, which makes it difficult to identify and move beyond. For instance, fearing success or the consequences of success, while at the same time craving success, can cause chaos with internal motivational drives and subsequently attempting to unpick the underlying causes can clarify irrational beliefs. For more information about inner conflicts, click here.
Get Results: Motivation requires…avoiding temptations and distractions
Avoiding temptations and distractions is key to getting things done in a meaningful and effective way. We are often surrounded by these things and learning how to hack a way around them, or avoid them completely, so that we don’t sidetracked, is a must.
Get Results: motivation requires overcoming discomfort
Even the thought of having to deal with discomfort, can be an ambition killer. Putting yourself in harms way, psychologically speaking, is a tough one to overcome, but with practice, you can become a master of it, rather than a victim to it.
Get Results: Motivation requires use of negative emotions to drive action (click on the poster for more info)
Emotions are a vital component in driving behaviour and instigating action-taking. Emotions are what stir you, make you overcome situations, where you would not ordinarily take action. Anger, fear, regret, disappointment can be used to move you closer to your goal or keep you stuck where you are. Figuring out how to use emotions as useful tools rather than annoying obstacle is what will get you to where you want to be.
Get Results: Motivation requires a shift of perspective (click poster for more info)
Shifting of perspective is about opening your mind and seeing things in a different way. Rigid beliefs, are often the major cause of keeping you stuck and preventing you seeing things, people, ideas and situations in a completely different light and from a completely different perspective. For more about shifting perspective, click here.
Get Results: overcome blocking coping strategies (click on poster for more info)
Overcoming coping strategies is about stopping yourself rationalising the thoughts, actions and behaviours that are preventing you pursuing your dreams and goals. Blocking coping strategies are a psychological way of feeling okay about your failure to take the necessary actions that are required to get you to your goals. For more about blocking coping strategies, click here.
Questions and answers about motivation
I recently did some keyword research on the search terms inputted into Google around the word “motivation” and came up with a list of questions people want answered about motivation, which I’ve listed below, along with some of the more important answers. I’m not going to answer question by question, but rather gather the general gist of the questions into a few important answers. I’ve grouped them around, questions about 1. the definition of motivation, 2. self motivation, 3. motivating others and 4. more general motivational questions.
Keyword research is a great insightful tool for getting down to the nuts and bolts of what people want to know, and are actively searching for.
1. Definition of motivation
Search Terms inputted into search engines
what is motivation,
define motivate,
definition of motivate,
what is the definition of motivation,
external motivation definition,
emotional motive definition,
the definition of motivation,
extrinsic motivation definition psychology,
what is the meaning of motivation,
what does the word motivation mean,
what is a motivation,
define the term motivation,
the meaning of motivation,
Questions (condensed)
What is motivation?
Emotional motive behind motivation?
Definition of motivation?
What is the meaning of motivation?
What does the word motivation mean?
Answer
Motivation is defined as a reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way. Motivation can be intensified by using EMOTIONS, driving the NEED or WANT to take action, instead of maintaining a state of INDIFFERENCE in the STATUS QUO.
2. Self motivation
SEARCH TERMS INPUTTED INTO SEARCH ENGINES
intrinsic motivation,
stay motivated,
internal motivation,
positive motivation,
motivate yourself,
motivational thoughts,
need motivation,
personal motivation,
job motivation,
career motivation,
develop yourself,
intrisic motivation,
Questions
How to stay motivated?
How to increase motivation internally?
How to use positive motivation?
How to motivate yourself?
What thoughts can be used to increase motivation?
How to increase personal motivation?
How to increase job or career motivation?
How to develop motivation?
Answer
Motivation has two opposing forces, the first is the motivation to achieve some goal, to improve, get better, to succeed. All those things that you wish for, dream of or have desire to do or be.
On the flip side are the blocking motivations, which are driven by self-preservation and fear. The little voice in your head that tells you not to take risk, or pursue change because you might fail, be embarrassed, lose something important.
Both these forces fight over every decision you have to make, and only one can ever win.
If you’re not where you want to be, then the blocking motivations are the cause. It’s your job to recondition your thinking so that the blocking motivations are defeated. You can do it!
Clicking on the posters above, will walk you through the important considerations of motivation, including improving self-awareness, taking responsibility, being committed, overcoming fear, breaking inner conflicts and self sabotage.
With respect to using motivation for work, career or fitness, it works the same way in all aspects of life. Hacking motivation will support you in all aspects of life.
3. Motivating others
SEARCH TERMS INPUTTED INTO SEARCH ENGINES
extrinsic motivation,
motivational people,
how to motivate staff,
motivating staff,
staff motivation,
leadership motivation,
motivation in business,
extrinsic motivation psychology definition,
employee motivation techniques,
motivation of employees,
worker motivation,
motivation definition,
achievement motivation,
motivation techniques,
creative development,
business motivation,
Questions
How to get motivated?
How to increase staff and worker motivation?
How to increase leadership motivation?
How to increase motivation in other people?
How to increase business motivation?
Ideas for creative motivation?
Answer
Once you truly understand how motivation works, you will be better placed to motivate others.
Understand that DESIRE and FEAR are the basic drivers of human behaviour. People always act with positive intent, and will respond to a potential improvement in their situation, or sense of self, as long as the risk and uncertainty, which they fear, is reduced. If the reward is greater than the risk, they will act, but you have to make a good enough argument to convince them that the rewards do indeed outweigh the risks.
If you can align employees goals with your business goals, you will win. This is why some businesses run profit sharing schemes.
But to understand people’s motivations you have to develop your emotional intelligence, so that you have more empathy for how that person models the world. We all have the same psychological structures of thought that influence behaviour, we all feel anger, sadness, happiness in the same way, but our triggers and perceptions can vary significantly. What is important to you, is not necessarily important to me, but you will react in the same way to something that is important to you, as I would to something that was important to me.
Don’t worry if you don’t get it at the moment, we will be revisiting it in future posts. I would also advise subscribing to our newsletter for exclusive content, not available on the website, which covers this subject in more detail.
4. Motivation general
SEARCH TERMS INPUTTED INTO SEARCH ENGINES
Motivating,
intrinsic and extrinsic motivation,
achievement motivation,
types of motivation,
motivation techniques,
business motivation,
motivational activities,
maslow motivation,
motivational strategies,
motivation and emotion,
psychology motivation,
increase motivation,
motivation model,
importance of motivation,
goal motivation,
motivation process,
motivational ideas,
models of motivation,
motivation help,
Questions
What is the importance of motivation?
Where to find help for increasing motivation?
What is intrinsic and extrinsic motivation?
What are the types of motivation?
What is business motivation?
What are some motivational activities?
What is Maslow’s pyramid of motivation?
What are some motivational strategies?
What emotions are used in motivation?
What is a model for motivation?
What is a process for motivation?
What are ideas for motivation?
Answer
Without motivation, nothing gets done, so it is an essential part of taking action and getting results.
Intrinsic motivation refers to doing something for the enjoyment of doing it, for its own sake, rather than any external rewards. Think of things like hobbies or passions that you may engage in, which are done simply for the enjoyment of doing them. Extrinsic motivation refers to doing something to earn a reward, such as money, fame or praise, or to avoid a punishment such as being chastised, or beaten, or made to feel embarrassed. You would not engage in this behaviour if it wasn’t for the consequences. Many people’s jobs are an example of extrinsic motivation, because they wouldn’t do it if they weren’t getting paid.
Many different emotions can be entangled in motivation. Desire for something else, frustration, discontentment, dissatisfaction with the way things currently are, yearning for more, for better, or a desperate sense of needing, are good examples of supporting emotions (emotions that drive you closer to your goal). Fear is largely responsible for blocking progress (stopping you reaching your goal). I recommend checking out the posters above, for all the supporting and blocking internal and external motivations.
Maslow’s (1943, 1954) hierarchy of needs is a motivational theory in psychology comprising a five tier model of human needs, often depicted as hierarchical levels within a pyramid. It can be described as a model for motivation.
Get Results: Mazlows hierarchy of needs
Maslow stated that people are motivated to achieve certain needs and that some needs take precedence over others. Our most basic need is for physical survival (bottom of triangle), and this will be the first thing that motivates our behaviour. Once that level is fulfilled the next level up is what then motivates us, and so on, until we eventually reach self-actualisation, at the top of the pyramid.
As far as establishing a process for motivation, the first and probably most important thing to do is increase SELF-AWARENESS, so to improve understanding as to what creates motivation within us as individuals, finding out what our particular triggers are. Then use these motivations to drive us towards our goal, while hacking those that get in the way. Again I would recommend reading the posters above and following the links for more in-depth information.
We will be detailing some clever motivation hacks in future articles, so please subscribe to our newsletter for content updates, as well as unique content, not available on the website.
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Self awareness is the conscious knowledge and understanding of your own character, feelings, motivates and desires. It’s knowing, why you do what you do and don’t do what you don’t do. Its knowing what you like and don’t like and what you’re good at and not so good at.
Why is Self Awareness important?
It’s important to develop self awareness so that you can align the world around you to serve your natural tendencies, rather than trying to be something you’re not. Let me explain what I mean.
If you’re doing a job you hate, there’s something wrong with your outer world and your inner world alignment. This can be a real problem,
I remember when I worked in middle management in my 20’s and 30’s, I enjoyed being a manager, directing the work force, organising the processes and production etc, but I also thought that there was something missing, something that felt out of sync. I realised over time that the silly games of politics that go on in big business was not for me. I wanted to get on with the job and do the best I could for the business, while other managers seemed more content with point scoring, apportioning blame when things went wrong. They prioritised activities that were self serving over what was right for the business, and this included managers that I reported to.
The sense of something being missing began to drive me mad, and I came to hate having to go to work. I would get a sinking feeling on the Sunday, thinking about having to go to work the Monday. I would be wishing for the weekend to come, counting down the days. I can tell you it wasn’t a feeling I would want to experience again.
I wanted to be “the leader”. I wanted to be the driver of the business. I enjoyed the business of business, creating the strategy, the marketing, the culture rather than carrying out the orders of someone else and being a pawn in someone else’s game. It was what I wanted to do, I couldn’t hide from that fact.
I left and started my own business, and although the business is much smaller than the one I’d worked in previously, I enjoy operating at a higher level within the business. I’m the boss, of marketing, strategy, and execution. I feel I am where I belong. I get to be in the business of business now. I feel in alignment, emotionally and mentally.
Now that I am my own boss, I have still got to make choices about what I should do and what I should get others to do. I’m lucky that I’m a bit of a geek so I like to figure stuff out. I enjoy doing the finances, I enjoy doing the marketing etc. I don’t enjoy doing the routine photo editing stuff ( I run a photography business to give you some context), so I don’t do it, I employ someone else to do it for me. I don’t like to do the administration side of things, so I hire someone else to do it for me. So I do the things I want to do and get others to do the rest.
I’m lucky that I can get to do this, not everyone has the finances to be able to do so, at least initially, but in time, this is what you should be aiming for. Instead of taking all the money out of your business, live a little more conservatively and pay someone to do the other stuff you don’t like to do.
Now something to remember here is, make sure you hire people that are good at doing the other stuff and that enjoy doing the other stuff. If you get a situation where they love what they do, then you’re going to be in a win win situation for both of you.
Get Results: Self Awareness
How improve Self Awareness
You improve self awareness by self examination. Give yourself some time to get away from the hustle and bustle of life, sit in a quiet place and exam your life, your routines, your likes and dislikes. Look at the things you spend your time doing and the things you try to avoid and ask yourself why. keep asking why to dig deeper.
By being self aware you get to figure out what you like and don’t like. You can punt the stuff you don’t like to someone else, who does like to do that particular thing.
You will discover you actually do the things you like to do, or at the very least, you find yourself wanting to do them, you’re also likely to be good at these things and they come naturally for you. If they don’t come naturally, you will, at least be happy to put in the time to practice and perfect them.
On the flip side you will find you don’t do activities you don’t like to do, or you try to avoid doing them. These are also likely to be activities you’re not very good at.
Now if you’re not doing something that needs to be done to make progress towards you goal, you can’t just ignore it. You either have to make the effort and do it or delegate it, if it can be delegated and you have someone to delegate it to. Otherwise you will be stuck where you are. Self awareness will at least shine a light on this situation.
Now the next bit can be a little more difficult, it’s knowing what you’re good at and not so good at, or even bad at. It can be difficult to face up to your shortcomings and weaknesses. You have to be bluntly honest with yourself.
Sometimes you should ask the opinion of others who are considered experts in a particular activity and see how you measure up from an experts point of view. You need to consider criticism as valuable feedback, which will allow you to progress. For instance if you’re doing your own graphic design for adverts and they suck, this could be adversely affecting the effectiveness of those adverts.
By getting some honest and unbiased feedback, you might decide to delegate the work it to a graphic designer rather than doing it yourself, and hopefully that will improve your adverts conversion rate. One caveat here, make sure the feedback is from someone who isn’t going to profit directly from saying you’re crap at something, otherwise they might be telling you because it’s good for them (they get that business), rather than good for you.
So there you have it, self awareness is a key component of getting results and should be a priority in both your business life and personal life. Don’t try to change who you are to fit the world around you, but shape the world around you to fit who you are.
For more about motivational influences, check out our Motivation guide.
Get Results: Self Awareness Get Results: self awareness
Self Awareness Quotes
“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”
“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”
“If you’re your authentic self, you have no competition.”
“Self-awareness gives you the capacity to learn from your mistakes as well as your successes. It enables you to keep growing.” – Lawrence Bossidy
“I am” two of the most powerful words. What you put after them defines your reality.”
“One way to measure self-awareness is by looking at your ability to tell your life story in a coherent way.”
“What other people say about you is their reality, not yours.”
“The most important journey is the journey within.”
“Happiness is a feeling of well-being derived from knowing ourselves.”
“Be yourself. There is something that you can do better than any other. Listen to the inward voice and bravely obey that.”
“Get lost and find yourself.”
“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” – Nathaniel Branden
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it late.”
“Awareness allows us to get outside our mind and observe it in action.”
“We can’t change reality: we can only change our experience of it, by changing our self…”
“knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle
“Accept no one’s definition of your life. Define yourself.”
“We have self-centered minds which get us into plenty of trouble. If we do not come to understand the error in the way we think, our self-awareness, which is our greatest blessing, is also our downfall.”
“Self-awareness is the ability to take an honest look at your life without any attachment to it being right or wrong, good or bad.” – Debbie Ford
“Self-awareness is not self-centeredness, and spirituality is not narcissism. ‘Know thyself’ is not a narcissistic pursuit.” – Marianne Williamson
“Self-awareness is knowing why you do what you do and don’t do what you don’t do. It’s knowing what you like and don’t like, and why. It’s about having the enough self esteem to be able to look in the mirror and admit your shortcomings as well as celebrate your strengths.” – get results
“Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.”
“Awareness is like the sun. When it shines on things, they are transformed”
In this TED video, Rory Sutherland discusses how perspective is much more important to how we live our lives than we realise. How the way we frame things really matters to the quality of life we lead.
Our circumstances aren’t necessarily a predictor of our happiness, what is much more important is how we look at things and how we feel they relate to us.
He uses a good example of pensioners and the unemployed youth being in a similar situation with too much time on their hands and not enough money in their pockets, yet pensioners are seen as being much happier then their young counterparts. This may be due to the fact that pensioners choose to be in their situation, where the youth have had no option, they have had it thrust upon them and this sense of not being in control, is what makes the two groups feel very differently.
He goes on to name numerous examples of how perspective is used and mis-used.
I like the way Rory recommends using psychological perspective within economic policy decision making and cites the example of governments spending billions of pounds on reducing the journey time on the Euro-star from Paris to London by 40 minutes when simply adding free WiFi to the trains at a fraction of the cost, would have satisfied commuters by allowing the journey time to be more productive and enjoyable.
Another great example he uses is how Korea added countdown timers to red traffic lights reducing the number of accidents and occurrences of road rage and driver frustration and how China not really understanding the principle behind it, added countdown timers to green lights which increased accidents due to drivers speeding up to beat the red light.
Re-framing our perspective and changing our impressions can have a big effect on how we feel and what we do. Things are not what they are, they are what we think they are.
Check out my article on Hugh Ranks model of Persuasion which talks about how marketers use framing to convince you to buy things from them. After all marketing is nothing more than managing perceptions and these shape our perspective.
Yesterday is consigned to history, there’s nothing that can be done to change or affect it anymore.
Tomorrow is simply a construct of the mind and is always in the future. You can never directly interact with it and it can only be influenced by what you do in the here and now.
What you do in THIS MOMENT shapes all your tomorrow’s, so it’s important you make it count. If you’re the type of person that says “I’ll make a fresh start …..” whether it be next Monday, next week, next month or January 1st (via a New Years resolution), understand that you’re simply procrastinating. Procrastination usually occurs because of some underlying fear.
THIS MOMENT is the only time that exists. By the time Monday comes round, it will be the now, no different to the now you face in THIS MOMENT.
I like to keep a “THIS MOMENT” focus, it helps me make better decisions that support my goals. It’s a no tolerance approach to life.
Passing responsibility is passing power
If you pass the responsibility for taking action into tomorrow and beyond you are also passing the power to take action into tomorrow, and are essentially living a “wishful life”, Wishing and dreaming things will change for you, instead of taking charge and making it happen through consistent action. Action is required to drive you into the arms of your goal, and there is no other time to make a start than “NOW”.
Get Results: what you do in this moment shapes all your tomorrows. make it count
Get Results: a little progress each day adds up to big resultsGet Results: excuses don’t get resultsGet Results: consistent action creates consistent resultsGet Results: actions get resultsGet Results: “Today you’re one step closer to your goal.”Get Results: “Law of Opposites: There is no such thing as an unprofitable situation.”Get Results: “Sometimes what you are most afraid of doing is the one thing that can set you free.”Get Results: “The way you do one thing is how you do all things.”Get Results: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”Get Results: “FOCUS – Follow One Course Until Successful.”Get Results: “Your strength grows out of your struggles.”Get Results: “Today: Have I done anything productive or counter-productive towards my goal?”Get Results: “To change you life change you daily routine.”Get Results: “What you do in this moment shapes all your tomorrows.”Get Results: “Do something today that your future self will thank you for.”Get Results: “Action is the key to all success.”Get Results: “I’m getting closer to my goal each day.”Get Results: “Don’t think of work as work and play as play, it’s all living.”Get Results: “Dreams don’t work unless you do.”Get Results “Think less do more.”
Motivation lies at the heart of getting results. Without it you can’t get anything done. However motivation is made up of opposing forces, which makes progress more difficult than it otherwise would be. Let’s first look at the forces that help us move closer to our goals these forces are made up of internal and external supporting motivations.
Internal Supporting Motivations
Become Self Awareness
Self awareness is a key aspect of motivation, simply because it allows you to know why you do and don’t do certain things. If you can hack your subconscious and align your goals in such a way that they fit in with “who you are”, then the journey to achieving them will be a much easier one. This article is designed to allow you to discover and question what is going on inside your head, and force you to take a deeper look at what is helping you and more importantly. hindering you making progress towards your goals.
Take Responsibility
It is so important that you take responsibility for your results. Stop blaming your situation, your living arrangements, your job, stop blaming other people around you, like your spouse, your boss. When you pass blame to someone or something else, you also pass power, the very power you need to do something about it.
When you take responsibility, you empower yourself to find a solution and take action. It is a huge mental shift in the way you approach situations. You become a problem solver instead of a just a problem spotter. You access the creative part of your brain, rather than being in “wait and see what happens” mode, hoping for someone else to sort it out for you.
Tap into your Purpose
If you have purpose, a strong reason why you want or even need your goal, and you desire that goal so much, taking action is going to be that much easier. If you’re about to lose your home because you can’t make your next mortgage payment, you’re more likely to take that shitty job, than you would if you had a years worth of savings in your bank account. What’s changed, your purpose has. You suddenly have to do something, you have to earn some money or else. This might not be an aspirational purpose like “bringing an end to poverty” or “finding a cure for cancer” but it is a purpose, the purpose of getting money to pay your bills, so you still have a roof over your family’s head. If that purpose is strong, or as desperate enough (as in the case of the previous example) you are more likely to take action, that you might not otherwise have taken. Purpose doesn’t have to be some romanticised great deed, it just has to work for you, and get you closer to your goals.
Form good habits
Habits are formed to ease the burden on thought processes. We don’t have to mentally process every little thing we do, especially with regards to things we do on a regular basis. We form habits that we just do, without thinking about. This frees our brains to concentrate on other things.
As part of this process we often form bad habits that no longer serve us. The best way of getting rid of bad habits is by replacing them with good ones. To do this you have to begin to take action on a regular basis and do something that serves your goals. If you want to be a writer, start to write 200-300 words a day. Do this everyday for 30-60 days, after which you will have formed a habit of doing it. Then up the word count by a further 200. when you have done that everyday for a month or so, up it again.
Embrace Change and risk taking
One of the main reasons we fail to take action, is fear, we will deal with fear later in the article when discussing blocking motivations, you might want to read that part of the article first and come back to this section.
“Embracing change” and “risk taking” are the same thing. We resist change because we fear the uncertainty that “change” brings with it. Embracing change is a difficult mind shift, but an essential one, if we’re to grow into our goals.
Many people falsely believe there exists a status quo, some fictional place where everything stays the same forever. The reality of course is that everything is always changing, and change is part of life. Life and change are inseparable, so face the truth, and stop resisting it. Be excited by the opportunities that come about because of it.
Risk is also a part of life, we risk death every time we walk out the door, every time we get into the car. We risk embarrassment every time we open our mouths, we risk loss of possessions every time we leave the house empty, or every time we put something in our pocket or bag when we go out. We can try to mitigate risk but we can’t live without being exposed to it.
Live with Gratitude
I’ve included gratitude here because, gratitude adds some perspective to our thoughts. If we are grateful for what we have now, our health, our family and friends, our ability to reason, and make decisions, our ability to communicate and get on with other people, if we are grateful for everything we have, we don’t need to take the attainment of our goals too seriously, so that the fear of not attaining them, paralyses us from reaching optimal performance. We want to achieve our goals but not so badly that not achieving them means we drop into a great depression. Make life a game to be enjoyed, not one that feels like life or death depends on your success, because in most cases it really doesn’t.
External supporting motivations
External supporting motivations come from things we get from other people rather than from within us.
Incentives
Incentives can be tangible and intangible. Tangible incentives can include money rewards, a chance of winning something like a holiday or prize. Tangible incentives are used to reward us for outstanding performance at work for instance.
Intangible incentives on the other hand are things like getting a pat-on-the-back, or a “well done”, a “thank you for your effort” from someone we respect or have done something for.
Incentives push us to behave in a certain way usually for the benefit of others, but we can use them to help us get results for ourselves. An accountability buddy for instance can spur us on, say “well done” when we do something good, and at the same time put us right when we fail to do it or do something that is counter-productive to our goal attainment.
Internal Blocking Motivations
Fear of ….
Well fear has such a grip on the human psyche, that it stops the majority of people ever pursuing their dreams. Fear is a perceived possible future devaluation of our sense of self, which simply means that we fear the thought of something that “might” happen to us or to things, people or ideas that are important to us. We fear death, embarrassment, rejection, being negatively judged by others, disappointment, being vulnerable, loss, poverty, the unknown, uncertainty, change, being let down by others, some people even fear success. In fact we fear most things. Fear is a thought about the future, and as we can’t do anything about the future, until it becomes “this moment”. Fear is nothing more than a made up thought or series of thoughts that might happen, but is much more likely not to happen. Stop focusing on what might go wrong and start dreaming about what might go right.
Limiting Beliefs and Values
We’ve all heard the stories of kids that were told they wouldn’t amount to anything, only to go on to become big successes. These people felt they had something to prove, and this motivated them to succeed, but for many, negative reinforcement can kill their motivation, and keep them trapped in mediocrity.
Social conditioning -the environment where we grow up, the people we are surrounded by, the stories we are told has a big impact on how our beliefs and values are formed through childhood and as teenagers, and these values have a major impact on our lives as adults. As the saying goes “If you believe you can or you can’t, you’re right”, the question is where did this belief come from?
Our thoughts are formed by our experiences which are shaped by our actions, reactions, and behaviours which are affected by our thoughts. It’s a cycle that feeds itself. It can be a virtuous cycle or downward spiral. If you can feed your psyche with positive thoughts, beliefs and values, this will positively affect your actions and behaviours, and this will in turn dictate the quality of your experiences and the way people react to you, for the better.
Conflicted Thoughts
If you feel conflicted about your goals you may feel you want them on the one hand, but also feel in some way you don’t want them. When you feel this way, you might sabotage your progress. you might want to be wealthy, but at the same time feel it will ruin important relationships you have presently, and this dampens your motivation to take action to pursue your goal.
Another type of conflict comes in the form of “want” versus “should” situations. If you have a goal to be thinner, and healthier, but you see a delicious looking cream cake that you really want to eat, you are going to feel torn between “wanting” the pleasure of eating the cream cake and knowing that you “should” reframe from doing so, if you are to achieve your weight loss goal. If you give in and eat the cream cake you are not just failing to moving closer to your goal, but are in-fact moving further away from it, which is likely to make you feel even worse. “Wanting”, more often than not outweighs “should” as a mental choice calculation. This is why we so often give in to temptation. The best way to overcome this is avoid situations that present such a choice in the first place. If there is no cream cake waiting for you in the fridge, you aren’t going to feel you are missing out on it.
Moving forward
Overcoming the blocking motivations by strengthening the supporting motivations is the name of the game. If we can have stronger supporting motivations and hack our blocking motivations we stand a better chance of progressing towards our goals.
Become more self aware, take responsibility, have a strong purpose, replace bad habits with good ones, embrace change and risk, be happy and grateful with the positives in your life today, get help from others and get them to reward you for good behaviour. Be less fearful of your imagination, lose those limiting beliefs and straighten out your conflicted thoughts about your goals. Do this and success is your next destination.
Check out our “Ultimate Guides” relating to business, marketing, health and wellbeing.
Self improvement or self development as its also known, is key to improving the quality of your life. Jim Rohn said it best when he said “You can have more than you’ve got, because you can become more than you are. The other side of this coin is unless you change what you are, you’ll always have what you got.”
#1 Emotional Intelligence
One way to improve yourself and your results is improving your Emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is seen as a predictor of highly successful people. Individuals that are high in Emotional Intelligence tend to be emotionally balanced, in tune with their gut instinct. They have an innate ability to listen, empathise, creatively problem-solve, and understand the why behind the actions of others. Gary Vaynerchuk is a strong advocate of Emotional Intelligence, he believes it to be one of his greatest strengths, and key to his success.
Gratitude
Get Results: Gratitude
One way of tapping into your Emotional Intelligence is to give gratitude for what you already have. Lets call it an appreciation perspective. If you live a life of striving, it’s really easy to get lost in that striving. You are always looking to the future to find happiness, and as a result you are internally torn between where you are now and where you want to be.
This can lead to negative emotions, even chronic negative emotions such as anger, frustration, despair. Such emotions can adversely impact the quality of your life, even ruin it. While motivation is indeed key to driving action, you shouldn’t allow it to get out of control.
I recommend using gratitude to help you gain perspective. We can all benefit from remembering we are here by the grace of god. Our lives can be cut short at any moment, that alone is worth a great deal of gratitude. If you are healthy, mentally and physically, again you have a great deal to feel blessed about. If you find it hard to internalise such gratitude simply by thinking about it, do a few weeks volunteering at a local kids cancer unit, hospice, or care home to gain some much needed perspective.
Manage Stress
Another way of managing Emotional Intelligence is by managing Stress. Stress is caused by a fear of “a future potential devaluation in your sense of self”. You might fear there is a gap in your ability and the requirements of a future event, in other words you might fear you aren’t going to be strong enough, smart enough, wealthy enough, or good enough to cope with something that might (or might not) happen sometime in the future. Often the worry is greater than the actual event. Stop telling yourself stories and embellishing the downsides and worst case scenarios, instead be aware of the risk and try to mitigate it as much as possible, there are always ways around obstacles. Worry and fear are thoughts and only exist in your mind. When the event comes round you will either find you can deal with it much better than you anticipated, or that it doesn’t turn out to be half as bad as you thought it would be. This happens ninety nine times out of a hundred.
Become Self Aware
Get Results: self awareness
Another way of improving Emotional intelligence is by being Self aware. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses. Knowing what you like to do and don’t like to do. Instead of burying your head in the sand and trying to ignore these things, be honest and open with yourself. Confront them head on and work out the best way to either overcome them or find a work-around solution.
Self Reflection
Something that is closely related to self awareness is self reflection. Honestly auditing yourself, your thoughts, your actions, your performance, your results good and bad. Stand up to them. There is no failure in life, failure is a chance to learn something, make yourself better and move on.
Work on self first then observe others
To improve emotional intelligence you need to work first on yourself. Once you open yourself up to honest analysis, you will see with greater clarity what shapes the actions of other people around you. You will understand their motives better. You will pick up on the subtle signals and be able to read between the lines. You should as a result be more empathetic, more open to communication, by listening better you learn much more. Empathy is one of the greatest skills you can develop in your personal and business life.
Develop a Feedback Loop
Get Results: feedback builds champions
As part of your growth, you should be open to, even encourage constructive criticism from people you trust. Encourage a feedback loop that helps you improve your game. Now this part comes with a caveat. You should have a strong sense of what you are about, who you are, what you want. Otherwise you can easily be manipulated into following other peoples agendas, or take on their insecurities and fears.
Its also important to understand that you are not going to get on, or be liked by everyone you meet, there will always be haters. “Haters gotta hate” as the saying goes, and it’s important to not let these people chip away at your self-esteem simply because they don’t want you to get on in life, or want to bring you do a peg or two. Ignore the views of these people, they don’t understand you and their opinion isn’t relevant, they probably have their own internal issues shaping their view.
Encourage honest, constructive feedback from people you genuinely trust and respect. Close family are not usually good for this because often they project their own fear and insecurities onto you and what you are trying to do, they don’t want you to get hurt so tell you not to do it. Instead of turning to family, try to find mentors or role models that have done what you want to do and encourage them to share their experience, and advice with you.
Assume the Best in Others’
Assuming the best in others is another way of improving your emotional intelligence. The human condition is driven by the need to avoid pain and desire to be more. This condition makes people irrational, isolated, and selfish. Most people operate in this mode almost unconsciously. It is their self preservation instincts that are ruling their behaviour, and we shouldn’t mistake this to be who they are. People are good at heart, they are possessed by their Ego’s, for more about this check out my wellbeing guide.
Become a Giver
One last point about emotional intelligence is one of becoming a Giver. Give back, or just give. The world would be so much better if people were more giving. Giving of their time, their attention, their love, their patience, their understanding. Looking at each of your relationships from a “what can I give to this person” will open up a vastly more expansive life than you currently live.
#2 Having a Strong work Ethic
Having a strong work ethic is also vital when it comes to self improvement. If you’re not willing to invest the time and effort in working on yourself, than you’ll just have to be content with where you are and what you have now. Gary Vaynerchuk advocates “working your ass off” to get what you want in life. “Hustling” your way towards you goal, instead of watching every episode of House of Cards. If you’re not where you want to be, the only way to get there is, to take action, massive action. The maths is simple, there are 24 hours in a day, if you sleep for 8, that leaves 16 hours. If you work 9 of those hours, you still have 7 hours to work on developing yourself.
While having a good work ethic is important, it’s not just about putting the time in but rather it’s about working smart. It’s about being effective rather than busy. Jim Rohn says “Don’t spend major time on minor things”, and this is so true. Success won’t come from hustling 16 hours a day unless you’re doing the right things during that time.
In his book “The One Thing”, Gary Keller offers up a great focusing question that you can ask yourself and keep asking yourself to make sure you’re not wasting your time on unimportant activities. “What’s the one thing you can do now, such by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary”. I’m not going to go into detail about this question here. If you want a detailed explanation, check out the book for yourself below
The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results
get results: what’s the one thing
#3 Work on your strengths
Focus on developing your strengths rather than wasting time on bringing your weaknesses up to speed. Gary Vaynerchuk advocates “doubling down on your strengths and punting your weaknesses”. It’s good advice, even though it goes against the conventional advice of working on your weaknesses. Why is it good advice? Well because generally your strengths will be the activities you are naturally inclined towards. They are likely to be things you enjoy doing, and as a result will be more willing to do going forward. There is generally a reason why you do what you do and don’t do what you don’t do. It comes back to self awareness and knowing yourself better.
So it’s vitally important to know what you’re good at and not so good at. for instance, not everyone is cut out for business and being an entrepreneur, just because it’s the sexy thing to do at the moment, doesn’t mean you should do it. Be honest with yourself.
Stay in your lane, make your knowledge deep and narrow, rather than wide and shallow. To stand out you should aim to be exceptional at one thing rather than average at a lot of different things.
Summary
So there you have it, work hard to improve yourself. Consider it a lifelong project, one that you will never actually finish, but which keeps you pushing yourself to be a better person throughout your entire life. Be a master of what you know and a student of what you don’t know. Never take the view that you know all that you need to know, never. Be open to new ideas, open to new ways of doing things. Don’t be content with doing things the best you can do them, but aim to do them the best way they can be done. Most of all enjoy your personal journey of self improvement.
Check out our Ultimate guides for some self help information.
