Category: Motivation

Find Meaning in Life

Get Results: meaningful specific focus
Get Results: meaningful specific

Life includes a great deal of struggle and suffering. But what if I told you there is opportunity for hope? What if I told you that you could improve your life, and the life of your family, and make things better in your community?

If you’re not interested in doing this, then you should accept you have no cause to complain. If you are unwilling to make the necessary changes and take the actions to make life more bearable, then that’s a conscious choice that you’re making. But stop pointing an accusing finger at others and realise your own lack of effort contributes to the problems you complain about.

It’s difficult to deal with the human condition; our vulnerability in a world that often seems possessed with negativity and malevolence.

This negativity starts with the tyranny of the culture and society we live in. Value hierarchies become power grabs that benefit the few, rather than value structures that serve the masses. Some people benefit, not because they provide more value, but because they wield more power. The old way of doing things holds back new ways of doing things.

The negative aspects of nature include all of its destructive elements. We’re talking about things like the aging process, illness and disease, natural disasters and the inevitability of our own deaths. All these things are out to get us and our loved ones. Loss is part of life, some people experience greater losses than others, but we all experience loss at some point in our lives. At the end of it all, we know we must face our own mortality.

If all this wasn’t enough, we also face the cruelty of human nature. We see it in the actions of others and see the potential in ourselves.

So it’s understandable that against all this potential for suffering the predicament for human beings is a difficult one. We must find something that counteracts this negativity and makes the suffering worth enduring.

The way to do this is find meaning in life, something of a hero’s journey that offsets life’s tragic circumstances.

First, we must recognise that society, nature and human nature each have their positive aspects that offset their negatives.

Culture and society is a protector that shields us from nature and the darker side of human nature. Most of the time we interact with others free of fear that they are going to attack us, take our possessions and make our lives a living hell. Society does this by socialising people, teaching what is expected of them in a civilised society. Sure, there are some that break the rules, but imagine what the world would be like if chaos reigned. We take this aspect of society for granted, but realise it’s not a certainty, it’s a privilege that we enjoy because of the sacrifices of those generations that have gone before us.

The push and pull of liberal and conservative traits holds hierarchies in unstable equilibrium and it needs both to maintain the tension in which hierarchies function best. The conservatives maintain the necessary hierarchies, the liberals hold them to account by standing up for those souls that accumulate at the bottom. Hierarchies tend towards tyranny if left unchecked, so we require liberals, hierarchies are necessary and so we require conservatives. If you think the answer is to tear all hierarchies down, you don’t understand their function nearly well enough. Hierarchies give something for people to aspire to, they focus productivity and they work as long as they remain fair. We must all fight for equality of opportunity, social mobility, and ensure we remove tyrannical power from the game.

Nature is not just a threat to life, it is a life giver. It is the creator of all the beauty that surrounds us. We take much of this beauty for granted, but it only requires us to open our eyes to see the majesty that nature has gifted us.

Now let’s consider the positive aspects of human nature. Sure, there is much evil in the world. Those who would rather destroy, than build, those that spread hate rather than love. These people get most of the attention from media, but fortunately they are in the minority.

The other side of human nature is the capacity for love and connection, for innovation and selflessness. There is much of this positivity out there if we look for it. Many of the things we get enjoyment from comes from human endeavour and ingenuity. Again we take these things for granted, but it is truly amazing that these things are so routine and stable, that we can take them for granted. Water flows when we turn the tap on, electricity is available at the click of a switch. We have heating, shelter, food, the internet, the power of functionality in the phones that consume much of our lives. We have cars and roads to help you get to places, and planes to fly to far-off lands for a few hundred pounds. Wow.

So life is not all about suffering, there is much to be grateful for. Everything contributes to the rich tapestry of life and makes it so interesting.

But it’s important to find meaning in life, something to aim for and aspire towards, a sense of direction.

You don’t have to come up with the next big invention to make a difference in the world. You can work small, but work at beautifying it to the best of your ability. Jordan Peterson posits it starts by “tidying your room”. By making the space you inhabit the best it can be, you improve your house, by improving your house, you improve the street, by improving the street you improve your community. And if everyone did this…wow.

Growing up, I remember the little old ladies sweeping the pavement outside their front door. Just this simple act of sweeping the pavement would make me think how this little old lady was contributing to keeping her space neat and tidy, and how it demonstrated her pride in where she lived, and I thought I should do the same. It rubbed off on me, and I’m sure it had some impact on others who witnessed her doing the same thing over the years.

I see many people complaining about where they live, but I wonder what they do (apart from complaining) to actively make things better.

Communities are made up of people, not inanimate objects. People can make the most dismal places feel like a nice place to live. The tenement block becomes a depressing place because the community lets it become one, the people that live there allow it to become so.

I like the example used by Jordan Peterson in many of his talks about finding meaning in the smallest endeavours. He talks about running a modest café and it being a microcosm of communal activity, a place for neighbours to meet and congregate. A place where people rest before they go and do their important work. A place to nurture and educate their employees to be better and find pride in their self-sufficiency. This isn’t just about talking up a menial job, it’s about recognising the contribution it makes to the people who benefit from it.

The taxi driver is not just a taxi-driver, he/she is an important part of the economy, who serves to help people get to where they need to go. Without him/her many people would suffer greatly. They would be isolated, unable to get to important appointments, unable to get to the shop, unable to get home safely from a night out etc.

You have more power than you think, so make a positive contribution, no matter how small it is. A kind word can improve someone’s day, take a few minutes to speak to a neighbour, you might be the only person they get to talk to today. You probably know how upsetting it can be if someone says something mean to you, it can stay with you and really put a dampener on your day. You might know the frustration of letting someone out of a junction, when driving, and not having them acknowledge your kindness.

Little things make a big difference. Find meaning in these simple gestures and acts, and find meaning by pursuing a meaningful goal, regardless of how small a contribution you initially think it makes.

Shifting Perspective: Turn Weaknesses into Strengths

Get Results: change perspective
Get Results: change perspective

One way of increasing the likelihood you’ll take some desired action, is the ability to look at a goal, plan or task in a different, more inspiring way.

If it doesn’t provide a big enough reason for you to take action, you most certainly won’t take it.

Human beings get stuck in persistent patterns of thinking that frame the subjects of those thoughts in a certain way, and moving beyond these frames of reference can be very difficult if left unchallenged.

For individuals, such thoughts often centre around self-doubt. Self talk may go along the lines of “I can’t do [blank]”,” I don’t have the necessary experience, skill-set, knowledge, resources, etc”.

Businesses can also display this negative thinking; “we can’t compete with [blank]”, “we can’t compete on price” etc.

So what is the consequence of thinking like this? Well, we don’t take action, we don’t even try it, we just talk ourselves out of it and move on.

Maybe this is the right thing to do, maybe thinking abstractly against it is better than ploughing time, effort and resources into a doomed endeavour, maybe, but maybe not.

If we’re not careful, this way of thinking becomes a coping strategy that lets us off the hook and allows us to not take action in an act of self preservation. They become coping excuses.

A more productive way of thinking about it may be in asking “what if”. What if we did this, and what is the possible upside?

“What if” is a creative question. It opens up possibilities, rather than shutting them down. What if we could reframe the way we think about our weaknesses, and recast them as strengths?

In 1962 advertising executive Paula Green came up with a now famous slogan for Avis car rentals, that took advantage of their weaker market position in relation to Hertz, repositioning it from a weakness into a strength. The slogan “we try harder” let prospective customers know Avis would be more attentive to their needs than Hertz would be.

Stella Artois did something similar with their “reassuringly expensive” advertising campaign in 2004.

It’s all about finding a more empowering story that reframes your perceived weakness into strengths, for your own benefit, and also from a marketing point of view.

Here are a few examples:

  • Smaller size; being smaller allows you to be more nimble and adaptable than big players
  • Less experienced; don’t have as much skin in the game, nothing to lose by doing things differently and disrupting the status quo
  • Less prestigious location; can provide better value for money because not paying as much in rental costs.

Check out our marketing guide, here.

Also more about shifting perspective, here.

Attitude of Gratitude

Get Results: make the best of everything
Get Results: make the best of everything

Stop EXPECTING – nobody owes you anything. Be grateful for the time, interest, and generosity of other people. You have no entitlement to anything in life, everything is a gift.

If you’ve been born into a loving family, count yourself lucky, many don’t enjoy that privilege. It’s not like you did anything to deserve it, you were and are just really lucky that circumstances fell in your favour.

If you were born with good health – physical and psychological – you were and are just lucky, many people aren’t blessed in that way.

Be grateful for every day you’re above ground and in the company of people who choose to spend their precious time with you.

Even if you’re not born into a loving family, or you don’t have good mental or physical health, look for the things you can be grateful for. Do you have sight, hearing, are you able form and maintain relationships with other people, are there things you can do that others can’t? Are you free of pain, at least some of the time? Do you have anyone who cares about you?

It’s okay to Feel sorry for yourself sometimes, you should face your negative emotions, but don’t let them consume you, because it doesn’t help you to make things better. Prolonged negative reminiscing will only poison your mind and body.

Be grateful for even the smallest blessings. When you change how you think about the world, the world changes.

It’s important to understand that your attention and perceptions are goal dependant. When you task yourself with finding the great things in life, the world lays itself out around that goal. Your perceptions are motivated to help you attain whatever goal you set your sights on. Here’s a little game to illustrate how that plays out.

So you can pick the goal of playing victim and wallow in self-pity or you can empower yourself with the goal of finding light in the darkness, using gratitude, the choice is yours.

It’s Important to Get Results

Get Results: take action
Get Results: take action

We can probably all agree that being able to get results and achieve success is no bad thing, after all we are exploratory creatures. We aren’t designed to rest on our laurels and be satisfied with what we have. We always want to have more and to be better. We can try to fight our nature, but it’s a constant battle to engage in.

It’s also important to be grateful for the things we have, and to enjoy the fruits of our labour and the rewards of our love, otherwise, what’s the point.

But forward momentum is part of our genetic makeup, and it’s easier to face that truth than deny it.

We currently find ourselves stuck at point A, when we want to get to point B.

Point B is the promised land. It’s the place we aspire to be, if only we could get there. There may well be many smaller intermediary goals that point towards the end destination, and like dominos we need to line them up so each can help knock down the next.

Having a goal gives us a sense of direction, otherwise we are aimless, like a rudderless boat drifting wherever the current takes us. Goals allow us to take strategic action.

The consequences of not moving forward towards goals, towards point B, can be hard to stomach. The initial frustration is later replaced by regret and both these negative emotions drain self-esteem. A disaffected person can easily become embittered and take a destructive path which aims to tear things down rather than contribute to make things better.

We can all have more by being more. To have more than you’ve got, you’ve got to be more than you are, according to self-development guru, Jim Rohn.

Most things in life are unknown to us in any meaningful way. We know just enough about things to get through our daily routines, but meaning is condensed into abstract representations which allow us to manage our interactions with them, but little more.

This condensing of meaning lightens cognitive load, and allows us to focus attention on more important things, usually in pursuit of our goals. Everything is an aid, an obstruction or irrelevant in pursuit of whatever we’re busy aiming for.

For example, if we’re driving down to the supermarket in a bit of a hurry because it’s about to close, every red light, or motorist is an obstruction acting to block our goal.

Everything that’s irrelevant to our goal is ignored or filtered out, most of the time.  It doesn’t affect us and our current endeavour so we need not pay any attention to it.

The same is true with regard to the attainment of knowledge, we are motivated to learn things that interest or concern us, but everything else is ignored or filtered out of our conscious attention.

As a consequence of our limited knowledge, most things are unknown. We may know things on a superficial level, especially if we are curious, or as a result our life experiences, but there is always much more to learn, then we could ever know.

The unknown can be a scary place, it’s full of potential, made up of good and bad. The unknown is full of opportunities and possibility as well as risks and dangers. We’ll come back to the unknown shortly.

Learning new things involves finding accurate information, and as most information is not acquired from personal first-hand experience, we must find it from other reliable sources.

However, this is easier said than done, although we have more access to information than ever before, there is so much more misleading and incorrect information that has to be sorted through, to find the golden nuggets that will actually help us.

It’s all about learning what we need to move from point A to point B, and this can take a great deal of time and dedication to do. We have to do our research, find the nuggets of information we can use, put that into practice and learn through the experience of doing. It’s a process of learning, trying and failing (if we must), there isn’t really any other way to do it. Try to get better at filtering out the things that will cause you to fail, but don’t fear failure, just make sure you learn from it, and try to ensure it doesn’t put you out of the game completely.

Coming back to the unknown, any kind of meaningful change requires reaching into the unknown as we search for answers to help us move forward. If you’re not taking the actions you know you should be taking, then something is preventing you.

Fear is usually the most frequent reason people don’t chase down their goals. Fear of failure, of discomfort, of uncertainty, of embarrassment if things don’t work out as planned. Fear is even more persuasive if you lack confidence in your ability to do what’s required, or in case you find yourself out of your depth.

The unknown carries within it the monster of all monsters. It is a category of threat that holds all possible fears. But we also realise that the unknown is made up of all potential: all risks and dangers, but also all opportunities and possibilities.

The self-preservation instinct is often our guide within the unknown domain. It’s the biological reflex which causes us to freeze, take flight or fight. It’s easy to fall foul of this initial gut-reaction, which has little interest in anything other than protecting us from pain or suffering. If all you do is listen to your survival instinct, you’re certain to remain stuck at point A.

It’s useful to understand that motivation has two opposing forces: Blocking motivations like fear, but also supporting motivations that help propel us forward towards our goals.

With a shift in perspective, you can make use of the fear impulse to move you forward. Use the fear of regret to propel you towards your goals. Imagine looking back at your life as an old man or woman, having not pursued your goals or dreams. How would you feel about living a life only half lived? Regret can be a positive emotion if you harness it to support your progress.

If you’re anxious about doing something you need to do, you instinctively know that you’re lacking in some department. You have a realisation at some level that you need to learn or acquire something that you don’t currently possess. Carl Jung once said, “That which we need the most will be found where we least want to look”.

Finding inspiration within your belief system will sustain your journey towards your goals.

We weave beliefs into stories that we tell ourselves, and which subsequently guide our behaviours and actions. If your story isn’t serving you, change it for a more inspiring story.

The move from point A (where you are now) to point B (where you want to be), is a journey, a journey of transformation. It’s like any story you’ve read in a book or watched on a screen.

You are the hero of your own story, of your own journey. Like all the great fictional heroes, you have something you need to learn in order to make yourself a better version of who you currently are. You have to find the courage to face your fears and still move forward. Solve your own problems, face your own demons, and you will be stronger for it.

Pick a goal and plot a path forward that inspires and excites you, focus on that path, learn what needs to be learned so you improve as you journey forward. Embrace the challenges and solve the problems that block your path. Each win gives you the ammunition to fight the next battle, all the while you get stronger and more competent to deal with ever bigger problems.  If you can pick a goal that also solves other people’s problems, you’re probably onto a winner.

Storytelling Is A Gift

Storytelling in…

  • Fiction books
  • Movies
  • Dramatic arts
  • Literature
  • Kid’s play

Why is Storytelling so important?

It helps us learn how to behave in the world, via empathy.

If I know what another person’s goal is, I can also focus on that.

Place myself in the same state of mind as them.

My body reacts like their body, so I can empathise with and feel the same as them.

We feel the fear, anxiety, passion, excitement and love of the protagonist.

We can learn what they learn in different worlds, different lives, different situations.

We get lost in their world, and at the same time, escape our real life, for just a while.

Embrace storytelling, it is truly an amazing gift to be enjoyed, whether you’re a storyteller or story-listener

After all, storytelling is what makes us human.

Better Decision Making

Get Results: Productivity requires better decision making and problem solving
Get Results: Productivity requires better decision making and problem solving

Different situations impact the way we make decisions. To illustrate this point, if you’re trying to lose weight, you generally only have to consider your own motivations. For instance you have to work out how to reduce the desires that get in your way, like wanting to eat fatty foods.

In contrast, if you’re marketing and trying to persuade strangers to buy from you, considerations are very different. You’re not in direct control of what others do, you can only encourage and influence, and so there is an extra level of complexity to how you make your own decisions.

The Cynefin framework provides five decision-making contexts;

  • Simple (has recently changed to obvious),
  • Complicated,
  • Complex,
  • Chaotic,
  • Disorder,

which helps managers identify how they may perceive situations and make sense of their own and other people’s behaviour.

Get Results: cynefin framework
Get Results: cynefin framework

The Cynefin framework is based on research from systems theory, complexity theory, network theory and learning theories according to Wikipedia.

It has been used by its IBM developers in policy-making, product development, market creation, supply chain management, brand and customer relations. As well as by governments and the military along with health care research by the NHS.

Disorder

If you don’t know where you are, if you feel lost, you are probably in the domain of disorder. Within the domain of disorder, there is no clarity about which of the other domains apply to your current situation.

You may experience multiple perspectives, that could all equally be valid. “Leaders may argue with one another and cacophony likely rules”, says Snowden and Boone.

To find a way out of this domain, you must break down the situation into its constituent parts and assign each to one of the other four realms.

First gather information, then identify the domain and move on.

Don’t fall into the trap of believing everything is simple and ordered, or that past success makes you invulnerable to future failure. This is a big mistake, because before you know it, the chaotic domain will drag you into a crisis.

Chaos

When the s**t hits the fan and all hell breaks loose, the first response is instinctive, the freeze, flight or fight response kicks in. It’s our  primordial response for self preservation.

In this domain, cause and effect is unclear, and too confusing for knowledge based responses. In fact, previous knowledge and experience is only partially useful in chaotic situations.

Remove yourself from danger, in the first instance, try to regroup and do what you can to move from the chaotic domain into the complex domain, using novel practice if you have to.

Action mode

  1. ACT really…trust your instinct….get out of the immediate danger zone
  2. SENSE once out of the immediate danger zone, assess the situation and determine your next steps.
  3. RESPOND take action to move your problem to another domain

Complex

In this domain, the relationship between cause and effect is only possible through retrospective analysis. It’s a case of the truth being out there somewhere. There are no right answers, as such, we can draw only instructive patterns from them. The best way to navigate in this domain is through trial and error, via experimentation.

We often have to engage in emerging practice, where the path will be created with every step taken. It’s a case of testing as you go and seeing what works and what doesn’t, and learning from your failures.

The complex domain represents the “unknown unknowns”.

I was introduced to the concept of complexity when reading “Brave new work by Aaron Dignan”, where he discusses how companies can become more “adaptive and human” by becoming more “complexity conscious.”

Let’s assume you’re a marketer who wants prospects to buy your product. What do you need to do to get them to act? You can only encourage them to buy from you if you match their buying criteria. You must present your offer in a way that compels them to make a purchase. It’s important to realise that it’s not under your complete control, as with your own actions. If they like what they see, they may buy from you, providing the price is right, they trust you and you’ve given them enough reasons to part with their hard earned money.

Action mode

  1. PROBE experiment – evaluate – repeat. Gathering knowledge
  2. SENSE dive into the new and determine next steps
  3. RESPOND take action moving the problem into the complicated domain

Complicated

In the complicated domain, the relationship between cause and effect may consist of a range of right answers, rather than just one. It requires some expertise to navigate in this domain, like you would find with engineers, surgeons and lawyers. It’s the domain of known unknowns.

You’re looking for an expert to show you the best way.

You can make use of a blueprint to get from A to B.

It’s a case of 1 + 1 =2

Action mode

  1. SENSE the problem
  2. ANALYZE the problem and roadmaps
  3. RESPOND with a plan

Simple

In the simple/obvious domain, the relationship between cause and effect is clear cut: if you do X, you can expect Y to happen. It’s the domain of the known knowns.

Snowden and Boone (2007) offer the example of loan-payment processing. An employee identifies the problem, for example, a borrower has paid less than required, the employee categorises it, by reviewing the loan documents, and responds by following the terms of the loan.

It is the domain of the 1 way solution. A simple case of 1 + 1 = 2

Action mode

  1. SENSE the situation. Establish the facts.
  2. CATEGORISE the situation into a known bucket
  3. RESPOND with a well-known solution, following the rules or applying best practice.

Sometimes you can move through these domains, other times a particular decision lives in just one. The main takeaway is to understand that all problems are not equal and that different approaches are required for different situations.

For more about making better decisions check out our other posts about decision making here.

Stand Up And Be Counted

Be the change you want in the world

Stop blaming and complaining

Take on the responsibility of making the world a better place

Just a smile to a stranger can make a difference to someone else’s day

A supportive word instead of criticism

Look to add value to someone else’s life

stop just pointing out problems, anyone can do that

Instead provide solutions, bringing them from conception to implementation

There are so many problems in the world, we need people to stand up and be counted

Overcoming The Status Quo

Get Results: force field analysis
Get Results: force field analysis

The status quo seems to have around it some kind of gravity force, which holds us back from moving away from it, towards our goals.

It’s the duel force of fear and anxiety which comes along with the uncertainty of what might lay ahead, particularly when we’re doing something different or new.

It’s so much easier to play safe and stick with our current routine. In our present situation or circumstance we know what to expect, and we know we can deal with most eventualities. There is nothing too scarey to worry about.

Humans don’t deal well with change, it’s fear inducing to trample unexplored territory. There are too many monsters lurking in the darkness, metaphorically speaking.

Our survival instincts have conditioned our brains to avoid anomaly and change at all costs, and the easiest way to do this is to play it safe. Do what we know and keep doing it as long as we can.

At the same time, we like to experience good surprises, like the unexpectedly win or gain of something we value. So uncertainty is good as long as it’s a promise of good.

So wandering away from the status quo is possible, providing we have something positive enough to aim for.

All change has within it, potential, which can be either good or bad. There are risks and dangers, as well as possibilities and opportunities.

We have to find a positive reason to make change, and we have to have the vision of a better alternative than the one we are currently experiencing.

We also have to believe that the cost of not pursuing our goals will deliver such regret that we just won’t be able to bear it in the years to come. This kind of fear propels us forward, rather than holds us back.

Finding the motivation to take action is all about shifting mindset. It’s about hacking the way we think, from something that holds us hostage, into something that opens us up to a new, exciting way forward.

If you want something enough, you’ll find a way, if not, then maybe you just didn’t want it enough.

What Is Important To Do In Life?

Get Results: when we care we share
Get Results: when we care we share

Having direction, gives meaning in life and results in positive emotion.

What should be? We’ll call it point B.

What is? We’ll call it point A.

How to transform A to B.

Be the Hero that voluntarily goes into the unknown, to learn what needs to be learned to convert A to B.

Be brave enough to deal with the dragon of fear and bring back the treasure that you find there, to improve your society for the good of all.

In a nutshell, this means being a problem solver. Start by solving your own problems; figure out what’s holding you back from the life you’d rather be living, and find a way of conquering them. Whether it be fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear of being conflicted, lack of self-confidence, if you’re not where you want to be, something is holding you back.

Once you’re able to deal with your own problems on an ongoing basis, you can use the same principles that have helped you, for the benefit of other people. You will then be a master problem-solver, the Hero that goes out to slay the dragon of chaos and brings order to disorder, time and again.

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Deal with Change 

Get Results: when you change inside
Get Results: when you change inside

Reframe the story you tell yourself about change.

Let’s assume you want to start your own business, and someone close to you tells you to stick it out where you currently are. After all, you’ve got a regular pay check, you know what you’re doing, you get on with colleagues, and you’re comfortable and safe.

They want to protect you, they don’t want you to suffer because they love you. This resonates with you because the same conflict is going on inside your head.

Doubts are designed to warn you of the potential dangers you may face and paying attention to them is wise. But it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go ahead, it just means your plan needs to keep the pitfalls in mind, to mitigate them as much as possible.

The unknown is uncomfortable and exciting at the same time.

You feel alive because there is uncharted territory ahead, it’s a natural reaction, in the same way as a surprise or something unexpected grabs your attention from the slumber of your familiar routine. We have evolved to pay attention to change, to different, to new, because they are unknown.

The unknown has significance. Suddenly there is uncertainty, and risk, and you need to pay attention to it in case it hurts you. But don’t quit because of it. You can’t do anything different or new without encountering some level of unknown.

As well as paying attention to the possible dangers, give thought to the opportunities and possibilities that come out of change. You become more by experiencing more. Even failure can be a great teacher, so don’t fear it, just plan to mitigate it where possible.

The status quo is a lie, change is inevitable, whether you accept it our not. Face change, deal with change, take advantage of change.

Be a predator of chance rather than a victim of circumstance.