Self imposed limitations are the stories we tell ourselves why we can’t do something, or can’t reach a certain level..
People won’t like me
I don’t know enough
I’m not an expert in the field
I’m no good at writing
I’m not good at running a website
I don’t have the money
I don’t have the time
I don’t have the resources
I’m not thick skinned enough to be able to deal with any criticism that might come my way
I don’t have the talent to earn £500k a year
These stories start with “I don’t”, “I can’t” , “I’m not”, so look out for them.
These are all reasons why you shouldn’t take action, so you don’t get hurt. They are designed to protect you from failure. They are coping excuses for not pursuing your goals and feeling okay about it. Coping excuses are one of the main reasons goals don’t get chased down.
Tell yourself more empowering stories. Stop trying to protect yourself from everyone else, start protecting yourself from yourself. Get out of your own way, because deep down you are your own worst enemy.
Failure isn’t something to fear, it is an opportunity to learn what doesn’t work, so you can get closer to what does work.
Failing often, means your pushing boundaries, you’re trying things out.
The worst thing is making all the same mistakes, over and over again.
Just make sure you’re listening to the market, to the feedback it gives you, even if it’s critical and be prepared to pivot when necessary.
A caveat here though, figure out what you are truly good at, ideally something you also like doing, and what you’re not so good at. It is a case of horses for courses, you can’t be great at everything, so be honest with yourself, enlist of people close to you, who will give you honest feedback, or let the market tell you. Improving your self awareness is a critical first step for success. You can then focus on your strengths and enlist the help of people who are better at the things you’re not so good at, or figure out a way forward that better suits your unique skills set.
Laughter is one of mankind’s greatest gifts, it can get us though the toughest of times and situations.
The ability to laugh at yourself, lifts the burden of taking yourself and life too seriously.
It frees you from the worry of other people’s opinions about you; if you don’t seriously judge yourself, why should anyone else.
Sure our teenage years are all about fitting in, conforming with our social circles. It’s a time when we’re genetically wired to care about how others view us, but as we get older, we can appreciate our individuality a little bit more objectively.
We can relax our critical, judgmental side in favour of a more accepting, look-for-the-funny-side-of-this situation, disposition.
I used to take life far too seriously. I was in a very responsible management position, and played the role the way I thought it should be played, with a great deal of seriousness. I used to get really uptight about presenting the best impression to senior managers and peers.
There was another more junior manager that came along some time later, who was refreshingly lighthearted, a self -deprecating sort of bloke, who was popular because he was so easy going, jovial,and easy to work with. Sure he’d get the work done, and make sure he didn’t get taken advantage of, but he did it with humour and humility.
I learned a lot from him, and let go of my stuffiness, I worried less about what others thought of me, because I judged myself less harshly. It was amazing how less stressed and worried I became, it really was like a weight being lifted from my shoulders.
I now love to laugh, I try to find the funny side of any situation and am happy to laugh at the silly things I find myself saying and doing from time to time.
Get Results: laughter is the best medicine
I came across this poem by Walterrean Salley that I really like, so I thought I’d share it with you here.
Laughter is infectious.
It is a joyful sound that
Once it starts ringing,
Passes all around.
Laughter is infectious.
Some folks have no clue
As to what another’s laughter
Could do unto you.
Laughter is infectious.
You can get it on a whim,
But chances of it harming
Are very, very slim.
Motivation is often the biggest struggle for people. You can find countless questions of Quora.com and forums around the subject of getting motivated, indeed much of this website is dedicated to the subject.
Get Results: love the journey
The easiest way to get motivated is to make sure the journey is motivation enough for you.
Most people focus solely on the GOAL, and the journey required to reach the goal is relegated to being a “means to an end”, or a “stepping stone” to the goal.
Get Results: love the journey
But the journey is the part of the process that you’ll be engaged in most. It’s made up of the daily tasks and activities that are going to allow you to realise your goal.
You’ve got to pay much more attention to your journey. A goal that involves taking a journey where you struggle to motivate yourself each day is surely not a goal worth the effort, because it becomes a grind, an effort, a struggle, and life is too short to be engaged in such a lifestyle.
On the other hand a journey that you love, that excites you, that you are enthusiastic to engage in, that you are fully immersed in, is what life is really about.
Sure having a goal to aim for, gives you necessary direction, but the journey itself is what truly matters, because this is what’s going to take up much more of your actual time.
Focusing on the quality of the individual tasks and activities, is what dictates the quality of the end result. Like any great recipe, the finished meal is only as good as the quality of the ingredients and the quality of the methods used to produce it. A great chef, loves the process of creating, mixing different flavours to produce something special.
Get Results: love the journey
So love what you do and motivation is not a problem.
This website is a labour of love. I don’t do it for money, I do it because I love the subject matter, I love learning new stuff, I love writing, I love creating graphics and videos.
I love business, I love marketing, I love health and fitness, I love spirituality. I love to learn, and I love to share.
With over 200 posts, I find it so easy to add new content, designed to help people understand the concepts and principles behind getting great results, and I’ll continue to do so, until I don’t enjoy it any longer.
I don’t do it for the result, for the consequences, I do it because I love doing it, day to day, and hopefully you get something from it as well.
Get Results: gary vaynerchuk quotes the game
Gary Vaynerchuk is a big advocate of loving the game of running and building a business, to the degree that he says he’s even wished he would lose it all so that he can go through the process of building it up from scratch again, he so loves it. His primary drive isn’t to earn millions (even though he’s a multi millionaire now), but this has come as a consequence of his true passion, of building businesses; made up of solving problems, selling solutions, building systems, hiring and firing, generating assets, and creating a brand.
So if you can find something you love to do, and figure out how to make a living out of it, you’ve won. Good luck on your journey, and make sure you enjoy it, otherwise what’s the point?
Procrastination is defined as the action of delaying or postponing something.
We’ve all been guilty of doing this to some degree, some people do it more than others.
We know we would be better spending time doing things that move us closer to our goals. Work that is productive, and worthwhile. When in college or university, it’s revision for that all important next exam, presentation or completion of the next assignment in time for the submission deadline.
So many students procrastinate right up until the looming deadline gets so close that delay can no longer be extended, pulling the all-nighters just to have any chance of submitting something reasonable.
It doesn’t get much better for non-students, in fact, most people struggle with procrastination in some aspect of their lives. Pulled and push about by distractions and temptations, we spend way too much time on social media or surfing the net, in a vain attempt to avoid doing what we should be doing. Or doing anything we can, to get out of going to the gym.
Our instant gratification monkey keeps us seeking pleasurable experiences and avoid doing things that we perceive as work or difficult and thus unpleasant.
We’re hardwired to avoid discomfort, either physically or psychologically.
So how can we better get on with the things that will improve us, encourage growth, and that will lead us to our goals?
This website is laden with motivational advice, we even have a model to help you unlock your potential, and hack your blocking thought patterns and behaviours. Sign up to our newsletter for more about this.
We’ll add just a couple of options here, but there are many others throughout the website.
Use CONSEQUENCES to your advantage.
At college or university we have deadlines. The fear of a failed exam or a poor score on your assignment are enough for you to resort to pulling an all-nighter, so that you don’t have to suffer the indignity and shame of the consequences of failure. And although students are known for cramming right up the the finishing line, they do still do all they can to hit those deadlines. Deadlines work.
So putting yourself in a position where you give yourself a DEADLINE, and where failure has adverse consequences, will help you hack your motivation. For instance, having an accountability buddy, who holds you to account for your progress, milestones and end result, is one idea. Broadcasting your intentions and date for completion to your family and friends is another, say on social media. You don’t want to look like a failure to the people closest to you, so you better get the work done.
Give yourself REWARDS for following through; if you get [x] amount done in the next 2 hours, you’ll reward yourself with 30 minutes doing fun stuff, or a lovely treat or whatever works for you.
Use INCENTIVES along your journey, daily targets achieved result in something good coming your way. If you get [x] done by [y] you can have/do [z].
In the same way as incentives, use PUNISHMENTS to direct your actions but for the opposite reasons. If you don’t get [x] done by [y] deadline you can’t do [z].
One last thing to consider before we wrap up this post; if you can do something that you love to do so much, and doing it doesn’t feel like work, this will be motivation enough to put in the work. So doing what you love, that also moves you towards your goal(s) is the best scenario possible. It’s worth trying to figure out a way of aligning your purpose (goal) with your day to day activities (actions/behaviours) whenever possible, because this is perfect alignment between your outer world and inner world.
Jim Rohn famously said “To have more you’ve got to be more”, not in the sense that your sense of worth should be wrapped up with your abilities and what value you can provide to the world. For you are an extraordinary light as you are, but society rewards those that provide the most value to others, at least in certain situations.
We all know those that do outstanding work, that help their fellow human beings or the planet, but who are not as financially rewarded as they should be, and in this sense, the world can be unfair.
Nursing and caring for instance is not well rewarded financially, doing good deeds for your neighbours, likewise.
So it’s true that you might want to do certain things that society is not going to reward you greatly for, unless you run a business or invest in a business that leverages additional resources to increases income. Generally the more people you can help, the more you get paid. You ultimately get to decide if you still want to pursue a calling that is far reaching or that helps on an individual one to one basis.
So you have to look into whether what you want to do is going to reward you well enough, if not you may want to look for other ways of providing income or leveraging additional resources as highlighted above.
So carefully consider you goal, make sure it aligns with your inner being. Doing something that isn’t who you are, can grate on your soul and cause inner conflict.
My advice is, do what you love, that way it doesn’t feel like work. Figure out a way to do it, that will help pay the bills. I’ve never been one for settling or doing something that my heart wasn’t in, well I have but I didn’t last long doing them.
So with that said, are you doing what you love? Would you do your job if you didn’t need the money, or are you doing it solely for the money?
If you’re doing something you’d rather not do, then you need to work out a plan to get from where you are now to where you want to be.
You have to start from where you are of course, you may need to do it for a certain time, but it’s important that you have a plan to work against that will enable you to transition into what you love.
That plan is of course different for each one of us. Figure it out, bath in the vision that you are working to achieve.
You may say to yourself, “I’ll do what I’m doing until I have £x in bank, or until my online business is better established” etc.
Make your plan doable, actionable, tangible, break it down into steps that are easy to follow and measurable, so you can make sure you’re progressing towards your goal.
It’s okay to pivot, when needed, because as you progress you might uncover insights that better inform your plan, that may speeds things up or plot a different course. You might decide your goal needs to change based on new information. So keep it flexible, but don’t let self-doubt and fear put you off.
Get Results: winners and losers predator of chance and victim of circumstance
There are WINNERS and LOSERS in every situation. Mentally position yourself to WIN. Be a PREDATOR of chance rather than a VICTIM of circumstance.
Victims blame and complain. When they pass the buck they also unwittingly pass the power to help themselves, to find a way, to make things happen. Instead take responsibility, don’t look outside yourself for answers, all you need to conquer is within you – It’s fear, fear of loss, failure, defeat, disappointment.
When you look differently at things, things look different. Change yourself and things change. To have more you have to be more.
These are not just sound bites, they are truths.
Using COPING STRATEGIES helps elevate internal dissonance but coping strategies are often used as coping excuses. Excuses to be able to accept failure, to be okay with not following through on plans towards goals. If you’re not moving goal bound ask yourself why not. Somethings getting in your way and it’s most likely to be you. Figure yourself out by improving self awareness; ask yourself why you do what you do and don’t so what you don’t do. Figure out your strengths and weaknesses so that you can chart an effective plan of attack.
These are just a few of the key elements to enable you to get results. Sign up for our newsletter and check out the underlying framework we use to get results and find success.
Get Results: thought processes including opinions and beliefs
THOUGHT is the key driver of ACTION and BEHAVIOUR. Another way of saying this is we do things based on our thought processes.
THOUGHTS either made up of fleeting distractions that pass through our minds briefly, and while we may question their origin, they have very little impact on our daily lives, or thoughts that repeatedly replay over and over, which wear grooves into our psyche, otherwise known as pathways into the neural network of our brains, forming what we often describe as BELIEFS and VALUES.
These beliefs and values become the RULES we operate against. To implement rules we have to make JUDGMENTS, deciding if something is right or wrong, good for us or bad, whether we do it or not etc.
Understanding how thoughts impact behaviour; what we do, or don’t do, why we do something or don’t do something, is vitally important, because they directly impact the quality of our decision-making and subsequently the quality of our lives. Self awareness is so important in this respect.
The difficulty with scrutinising our psychological mechanisms is that we may be forced to confront things we’re not particularly comfortable with confronting. We may have to admit our shortcomings, our weaknesses, or vulnerabilities, which goes against how our brains are wired and how we are conditioned, which is to always be looking to increase our sense of value, to be more than we were yesterday, to be better, more valuable.
In reality, knowing the hard-to-admit shortcomings of our makeup frees us to move forwards more effectively, we can plan the best path towards our goals, knowing where we need help from others, or through training, and what we should focus on by doing what we do best, what comes more naturally to us and what aligns with our inner workings.
We have BELIEFS and VALUES which are predominately made up from, ASSUMPTIONS, INFERENCES and the TESTIMONY of others, and often have little to do with facts, or being backed by evidence. We should question such BELIEFS and VALUES. Where do they come from? Well generally they come from social and cultural conditioning, they are less about what we want and more about what the world around us wants from us. Are they based on truth and fact or are they just a convincing story we tell ourselves repeatedly? Are they an attempt to increase our sense of self?
Your SENSE OF SELF, is that bit of you that attaches to and emotionally invests in thoughts, possessions, people, cultural and social ideas and affiliations, so as to increase your own value. At some level, you believe having more makes you more, but this is a lie.
Learn more about the EQUATION OF EMOTION which will help you with dealing with EXPECTATIONS, PERCEPTIONS OF REALITY, ATTACHMENTS. For more about it, click here.
Change EXPECTATIONS to APPRECIATION. Nothing is promised. Lose that sense of entitlement you might have. Be grateful for each day, which is a gift. If you find this hard to believe, go to your local hospice and spend time with people that are living on borrowed time, to help you get a better perspective and appreciation of what’s really important.
Question your PERCEPTIONS OF REALITY. Change the story you tell yourself. Choose a different narrative because none of it is based on fact anyway, so make it empowering so it serves you.
Let go of ATTACHMENTS. They are designed to increase your sense of self, but in reality, you are not your attachments. Also be careful of SEPARATION because this too is an attempt to increase your sense of self, by lowering the “other” and thus rising above the “other”.
Bring awareness to your IDENTIFICATION WITH THOUGHT (EGO) processes. You are not your thoughts, and your thoughts are not who you are. You are not separate from the universe of formless or form, you are in integral part of life. Also stop using this moment as a stepping stone to the future and to relive the past, instead fully engage with the here and now because it is the only access point we have to engage with life.
You can see that there is more to THOUGHTS and THINKING than initially meets the eye. Thoughts are so integral to the way we live life. Mastering thoughts and the thinking process, helps master life. We can’t control external elements or other people, but we can control our thoughts, our reactions to events and situations. We can make better quality decisions, less influenced by emotions and emotional reactions, we can approach situations from a different, more empowering perspective, with a different interpretation than we had before.
“A view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge”
and the part that says “not necessarily based on fact or knowledge” is important to take note of
because OPINIONS are often defended as if they were TRUTHS, FACTS, even based on EVIDENCE.
When in fact, they are largely shaped by our individual BELIEFS and VALUES.
Which in turn, are formed from ASSUMPTIONS, INFERENCES and the TESTIMONY of people we might respect or trust, such as authority figures, experts, work colleagues, family and friends.
They are a result of our SOCIAL and CULTURAL CONDITIONING.
When you react to someone criticising or challenging your OPINIONS, you can be sure you have invested part of your SENSE OF SELF in these OPINIONS.
That is, you are ATTACHED to them to such an extent that an attack on them is perceived as an attack on you. You and your opinions are as one.
The first step in breaking this identification is to observe it at work.
When your opinions are challenged, and you feel negative emotion as a result, look inside yourself to see what attachment you feel a need to defend.
Question why you feel you need to defend this OPINION and figure out what BELIEF it’s being driven by.
Then question the validity of this BELIEF. Why you have it, where it came from, is it a belief worth defending?
Unless you remove your sense of self from these BELIEFS, you will inject subjective bias into them, and will be unable to take an objective standpoint.
You will look to confirm them, to prove them, so that you can inflate your sense of self.
While, at the same time, discrediting your objectors, so as to avoid having to really look objectively at the underlying TRUTHS and FACTS, without the cloud of EMOTION getting in the way.
The SCIENTIFIC approach is to hold beliefs as hyphotheses and look to disprove them at any opportunity. If you can’t prove them as TRUTH or FACT, consider them best guesses.
Having grit and being committed are essential ingredients in powering through to achieving goals. Without them, difficulties and obstacles may be too great to overcome.
I got this email the other day, so thought I’d share it, because it’s message is important in this respect…
The other day I finally picked up my gym routine again, after a 6-week hiatus.
And let me tell ‘ya it wasn’t a pretty sight:
My my first squat rep made me feel a little woozy.
By the third rep I’m red-faced…
And after the whole set I’m wobbling on my feet with tinnitus ringing in my ears, ready to faint then and there.
What gives??
This comment from a reader made me re-live that unfortunate gym experience:
~~~
In my life, I’ve probably picked up and dropped programming again a dozen times in total (yes, persistence is my weakness in that respect).
And every time I saw marked improvements if doing a bit of it every single day and saw decline if leaving it alone for so much as a week.
~~~
Here’s my take on this:
Whether you’re learning how to program with Python, you just ate a slice of humble pie at the squat rack, or if you want to learn how to cook a decent meal from scratch—
These are all “use it or lose it” kind of skills:
The more you do them, the better you get. The less you do them, the worse you get.
It’s a law of nature.
And if you drop the ball—don’t beat yourself up too much.
The truth is, we’re all TOGETHER in this constant struggle against entropy:
I looked like a complete tool at the gym? So what. Since then 2 weeks have passed and now I’m back where I was before my break.
It’s been a while since I built a web scraper in Python? Well, the next time I need to write one I’ll just have to do a few hours of research first.
My point is this—
You can ALWAYS recover from a setback.
In fact, the ability to recover from setbacks is vastly more important than talent or a perfect attendance record.
Because sooner or later you WILL need it to achieve your goals.
