Motivation

Having Beliefs Worth Dying For

I recently commented on a post, that talked about how even people who believe themselves to be ENTITLED are often attached to beliefs, because they have invested a sense of themselves in these beliefs, and when challenged can become aggressive, and closed off to competing narratives, because defeat would somehow make them feel their sense of self to be less.

This is important because this mental positioning is what leads mankind into conflict and ultimately war. Now I’m not saying we are all capable of killing others to defend our beliefs, but given the right circumstance it is possible that even so called level headed, model citizens are capable of contributing to unimaginable things. Mankind’s history is littered with examples. World War 2 for instance, is often blamed on the Nazi party under Hitler, but we have to remember that German people voted him into power, because they believed his rhetoric, and the narrative that Jewish people where the problem.

The following conversation ensued, I thought I would make a post about it, because this is a good illustration of what happens when you attach to beliefs, now there’s no chance of this escalating into war or anything so extreme, but it hopeful shows how division starts, because one person feels threatened by the ideas of another, because they are invested in their beliefs..

Me: A belief in anything risks investing yourself in it. As soon as anyone feels the need to defend their belief they have probably gone too far.

Other: But what good is a belief if you are unwilling to defend it? I don’t ask anyone to become a Buddhist or think the same, but if they challenge my core beliefs, such as work telling me to take a sentient life, I will defend my beliefs to the end.

Me: and there lays the Ego dilemma. It is for the individual to pick their own path, but as long as you choose to defend your beliefs you automatically invest yourself in them. This is Ego at work. Beliefs forge separation (from contradictory beliefs) and form attachment (to the belief), both are designed by the Ego to make yourself more, because the more you have the more you are. Why would a person need to be more, if you were truly enlightened? I’m open to contradictory views, I don’t invest myself in this way of thinking, it’s just the best explanation available to me at this moment.

Other: this is not allowing another to breach my beliefs. It has nothing to do with ego. There is nothing wrong with belief and faith. It is what makes us spiritual and follow an ethical path. Without belief we are nihilists.

Me: I’m just saying we should be open to the possibility we might be wrong. Seeking the truth, rather than settling for something that could be wrong, and closing ourselves off from the truth.

Other: why do you assume that I have not investigated multiple beliefs and religions? I do not create my beliefs out of just accepting what my parents told me. If I did, I would be a Christian. I take refuge in the three jewels because of my investigation into truth and logic. Yes I am invested in my beliefs.

Me: I’m not assuming anything, I’m not judging you in anyway. You commented on my comment. I hope what you believe serves you, but that alone doesn’t make it THE TRUTH, but it is your best guess, as is my view for me.

Me: Many beliefs are built on assumptions, inferences and the testimony of others, rather than FACT. What actual facts back up your beliefs? (that is a rhetorical question, I don’t expect you to list them) but ask yourself this question for every belief you hold. We all should do this. Many of the BIG questions we have about life, can’t be proven as fact, there is often a lot of faith involved, so they are effectively guesses, we hold to be the truth.

Now I wasn’t trying to be a smart ass in this conversation, or attack the other persons beliefs, but he or she seemed to take it that way to some degree and the impression I got (which is often difficult to accurately gauge via a text only medium) is that they were agitated by my comments just a little bit, and as a result felt a need to defend their position. The comment about Christians just believing what their parents told them, could be construed as a dig at a different belief system, but generally I think we both approached this conversation with a balanced view.

I dare say if I’d have framed my language more aggressively, and the other person, likewise, this could have got into something of a slanging match, like we see all too regularly on social media.

My comments during the short conversation weren’t a criticism of the other person but a general statement that all of us should be very wary that our beliefs don’t close us off to competing ideas. It’s like a barrier goes up and perceptions are closed down. I liken it to a child covering their ears and humming to prevent hearing what is being said.

Hey, I’m as guilty as anyone else, for defending my beliefs in the past. I now have a different view of them, or I could even say I have a different belief about beliefs. You can’t get away from holding beliefs, they’re kind of an anchor for us to build from.

The problem seems to come from investing yourself in them, as I said in the conversation above. But it is important to realise we often take what we need from our beliefs and ignore the rest. However this isn’t the best approach for uncovering THE TRUTH. Scientist generate an hypothese, and look to disprove it. The scientific approach prevents confirmation bias, and investment in the belief. It’s a best guess, until proven otherwise approach.

I have become very wary of anyone who says they have strong beliefs, that they would defend with their very lives, because I believe them.

For more about improving self awareness, check out these posts

24 Inspirational Jim Rohn Quotes

Get Results: Labor gives birth to ideas - Jim Rohn — Get Results: Labor gives birth to ideas – Jim Rohn

Jim Rohn was an famous entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker who lived between 1930-2009. He was and still is, considered one of the leading figures in the personal development space, with many of his teachings, still seen as relevant in the modern world.

Below are some of the inspirational quotes from the late, great Jim Rohn.

“Happiness comes not from what you get but who you become.” – Jim Rohn

“You can’t make more time but you can provide more value. Value makes the difference in results.” – Jim Rohn

“Don’t spend major time on minor things.” – Jim Rohn

“For things to change YOU’VE got to change. The only time it gets better for you, is when YOU get better.” – Jim Rohn

“You have a choice, it’s easy to let life deteriorate to just making a living, instead DESIGN A LIFE.” – Jim Rohn

“The major key to your better future is you. Change your future, change you.” – Jim Rohn

“We can have more than we’ve got, because we can become more than we are.” – Jim Rohn

“If you really want something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t you’ll find an excuse.” – Jim Rohn

“If you don’t like where you are, MOVE, you’re not a tree.” – Jim Rohn

Get Results: Jim Rohn quotes get on the good side of life

“Learn to get on the good side of how things work.” – Jim Rohn

“Whatever good things we build end up building us.” – Jim Rohn

“The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch.” – Jim Rohn

“Time is more value than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.” – Jim Rohn

“When you know what you want, and want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it.” – Jim Rohn

“The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become.” – Jim Rohn

“Failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day.” – Jim Rohn

“There are only 3 colors, 10 digits, and 7 notes; its what we do with them that’s important.” – Jim Rohn

“Giving is better than receiving because giving starts the receiving process.” – Jim Rohn

“Ideas can be life-changing. Sometimes all you need to open the door is just one more good idea.” – Jim Rohn

“For every disciplined effort there is a multiple reward.” – Jim Rohn

“How long should you try? Until.” – Jim Rohn

“Make measurable progress in reasonable time.” – Jim Rohn

“Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention.” – Jim Rohn

For more motivational information, check out our motivation guide.

Losing Weight, Living Healthier

Get Results: money can't buy health — Get Results: money can’t buy health

Like many people, I’ve struggled with my weight for many years, probably over the last 15-20 years or so, ever since I finished playing football, back in my early thirties.

Well to be completely honest, I haven’t really struggled with my weight, in the sense that I haven’t been trying particularly hard to lose it, I just haven’t cared too much about putting on a few pounds here and there. You see, I have never particularly wrapped my sense-of-self-worth up in my body image, so it hasn’t really matter too much, in that sense.

However I know that excess weight is probably not going to do my health much good, something of an understatement I know, but I have felt lately, that my mobility has begun to suffer, and this has the potential to adversely affect the quality of my life.

A few years ago after visiting Los Angeles, I went of a concerted effort to shed a few pounds. I went from 19 stone to 16.5 stone over a period of a few months, through control of my diet and walking a lot.

Since then I’ve piled the pounds back on, largely through what I describe as creep. Eating and snacking particularly between meals, as well as indulging in bigger portion sizes. It’s not been a sudden increase in calorie intake but has kind of crept up on me.

At the time of writing this post, I’m 25 days into a new schedule, aiming for 1000 calories or less per day.

Below is a gallery of meals we’ve enjoyed over the last 25 days, I’ve had a few jacket potatoes and tuna meals sprinkled between these meals along the way.

I’ve included the meals to illustrate how very tasty, and not at all boring, healthy meals can be. Most importantly of all, they have helped me lose 14 lbs (1 stone), in 25 days. I will be posting my progress over the coming months, as part of my commitment to follow-through.

This blog centers on getting results, from the perspective of acquiring knowledge, tapping into motivation and being more productive. So here I am putting what I describe on this blog into practice.

Knowledge

These are the points of knowledge I’m using to get results.

Calories in should be less than calories out.

2500 calories is the average calorie requirement for an adult male, 2000 calories for females. More weigh loss posts here.

One lb of body fat is made up of approx 3500 calories.

Belly fat is not as serious a threat as Visceral fat

If I can keep my daily intake to below 1000 calories a day, I should be in the region of losing a lb of body fat every 3 days or so. 2500 calories per day (adult male requirements per day), minus 1000 calories (calories eaten), leaves 1500 deficit per day. 3500 calories is a lb of body fat, so 3500 divided by 1500 equals 2.3 days to lose one lb. In one month I should have lost approx 13 lb of body fat.

I want to improve the quality of my life, initially by increasing the frequency of going walking, giving me the ability to appreciate the beauty of the countryside, without being preoccupied by having back pain as a result of carrying around excess weight.

Improving SELF AWARENESS, to figuring out why I’ve been eating too much and not doing enough exercise – My main problem here is I get so absorbed in what I’m doing, work wise, which is predominately done on a laptop, that I’m just not moving around enough. I need to take regular breaks and do some activities during those breaks to improve my circulation and burn some calories. Also I must stop snacking, which tends to occur if I’m not working. I don’t think of food while working, but as soon as I stop, I start snacking, usually out of boredom or as part of social habits. I need to form a new habit here, to replace the old snacking habit, so I’ve started to eat a raw carrot, if I fancy eating something. I actually like raw carrots, so that’s working well for me so far.

Holding onto gains as the new floor. I’m not allowing my actions or emotions to push me under the new floor once it’s established (this is measured in weight). I’m using the following question to refocus.

Productivity

I want to keep the calorie intake count under 1000 calories per day, until I’ve shipped a few stone.

I’m going to focus on good calories and avoid empty calories as much as possible, but without denying myself too much. If I fancy a chocolate, that’s fine as long as I stay under 1000 calories per day.

Each day I keep below the 1000 calorie intake limit, put a big X on the calendar. I have one responsibility, don’t break the chain of X’s. So far so good.

Meals so far

Get Results: losing weight through healthy eating and control of calorie intake

Check out more of our healthy eating meals here.

Progress so far

Date and Day number	Wt Loss	Current Weight
Date: 1/1/18. Day 1	start	18 stone 12 lb
Date: 25/1/18. Day 25	14 lb	17 stone 12 lb
Date: 1/3/18. Day 60	25 lb	17 stone 1 lb
Date 5/8/18 Day 229	40 Ib	16 stone
Date 6/9/18 Day 249	42 lb	15 stone 12 lb

Summary

I am using this post to chart my progress, not just for my own benefit, but also in the hope that you can find some value from it yourself. I know I’m not the only person working to lose weight and get fitter.

It’s so easy for weight to spiral out of control, almost without noticing or should I say, admitting, which is probably a more accurate way of putting it.

Eating can be an emotional response, maybe an attempt to fill a void or may just be an over-indulgence, that goes to far. Whatever the cause, it’s important to figure out the underlying reasons for it and address those so you can find a healthier path forward.

We inhabit our body’s for the duration of our time in this life, and have a duty to look after it, both from a psychological and physical perspective. By improving SELF AWARENESS, and TAKING RESPONSIBILITY we have a chance to be more effective in this pursuit. Good luck in your weight loss journey.

For more reading check out our weight loss guide.

34 Important Life Principles

For much of my 50 years I’ve tried to be a student of life, and I’ve collated a number of principles I think have helped me live a better life. I thought I’d share them with you, hopefully you can find some value in them.

They are listed below:

Become a master at Selling – get to know what turns people on, their passions, think of the seven deadly sins for this (lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride). Alternative consider what keeps people awake at night (fears/anxiety). Use well known sales structures to hang your sales message on such as A.I.D.A. or S.U.C.C.E.S.
Be a business owner – don’t work in a business, work on it, there’s a world of difference. If you find your not suited to the running of business, but you’re interested in it, be an investor in businesses.
Become an investor – Learn to spot undervalued assets and sell for a profit or derive income from them.
Identify where things are headed. Pattern recognition. Map to the future.
Stay ahead of the trend not behind it. Look for expanding markets, otherwise you’ll have to work harder each year for same profit.
Disrupt your own business model. Don’t focus on how it’s always been done. Find the perfect solution and get as close to that as possible. Don’t just try to do it the best you can, do it the best it can be done. Seek the perfect solution and work back to what is currently possible, and work to fill the gap going forwards. Consider convenience, affordability, increase of SOS.
Under promise and over deliver. Manage expectations and try to exceed them.
Go the extra mile.
Pay attention to detail.
Add value in all exchanges – even if it’s just a smile, or a kind word.
Customers are not interested in your story, only how you can help them increase their sense of self. Align your needs to theirs and you’ll win. Provide a solution to help them.
Be memorable – people won’t remember what you did, they will remember how you made them feel. Use mnemonics, like velcro with lots of sensory hooks, for example baker versus Baker.
Be a problem solver – not just a problem spotter. See what people are moaning and complaining about. Providing workable solutions is where the value is created . Stop moaning and do something about it. Be a solution provider.
Don’t let your resume hold you back. Be open to opportunities and say YES, then figure out the HOW after.
Leverage is key to wealth success. It magnifies effort exponentially (to the power of..). Leverage of debt, compound interest, leverage of resources. For example; multiple shops, multiple assets all bringing income. Leverage your contacts. You don’t need money, you need a better strategy. If you can’t make money without money, you probably can’t make money with money. Leverage other people resources. Who benefits from what you are trying to do? If you need £50k to buy a new business, If supplier going to get £100k more business ask them for £25k investment, offer seller £10k more if they accept the remainder in instalments. Ask “who will benefit” and work out a way to leverage other people’s resources.
Focus – concentrates energy through a narrow conduit, reducing drag and increasing speed and effectiveness, like a magnifying glass intensifying the sun’s rays so that it is powerful enough to start a fire. Do the one thing such by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary.
Adaptable – ability to shift perspective and flexibility of thought. Open minded to new and better ways of thinking /behaving. Look for the best way it can be done rather than the best way you can do it. Try to disprove what you think you know and challenge assumptions/inferences. What worked yesterday may not tomorrow. Don’t resist chance. Be a predator of chance rather than s victim of circumstance. There are winners and losers in every situation. Try to put yourself out of business (be a disrupter).
Be a lifelong learner – Seek out the best way it can be done, not the best you can do it. Master of what you know, apprentice of what you don’t. Question everything test everything.
Don’t just believe everything you hear, even from authority figures or so called experts. Ask “how do you know? Point me to the research/evidence !” Look to have hypotheses that you try to disprove (like science does) rather than beliefs you try to confirm. It is the most effect way to uncover the truth.
There are lessons all around you all the time, with lessons of what to do, what not to do, everyone has something to teach you, whether they know it or not – watch and listen more than talking.
Learn from your mistakes, don’t be fearful of making them. They are the best teacher.
Find accurate information from reliable sources, curiosity, disprove rather than prove – prevents confirmation bias and self reinforcement, scientific approach.
Allow reflective time to absorb and assimilate information. Talk to others out loud (real or imaginary) as if you were teaching them about what you have learned, or blog about what you’ve learned, this will help you organise your learning into a coherent form.
Beware the Curse of knowledge. Use what you have/know to help others who want to know what you know, in layman’ terms. Break things down. If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it enough.
Choose love over fear – Fearfulness is self defeating, and Ego-centric. Be in the moment, observe thought, don’t react or be controlled by it.
Think abundance rather than scarcity – When one door closes another opens, if you miss a door opening, don’t worry another will. They are always opening.
Givers gain – Of your time, experience attention, support, experience, money.
Get results – Know and do what’s needed, whilst not doing anything counter. Knowledge, motivation, productivity.
Stop using Coping strategies to excuse failure – Justifying is a method to alleviate cognitive stress, and allows us to settle/make do with the current status quo.
Goal setting – Make sure the method you choose to achieve your goal is congruent/ aligned with you, otherwise you won’t act. Ideally do something you like which leads to your goal. If you like business but don’t like the day to day responsibilities of running a business, be an investor instead.
E to P (Entrepreneur to purposeful) – don’t keep bouncing off outer wall of ability, you have to figure out a way to expand your boundary, because life will keep testing you until you do. Even if you give up and do something else, the time will come again when you need to push past.
Know that beliefs, values and consequently, principles, rules, conditions, judgements, views, opinions, conjecture, predictions are built largely on assumptions and inferences and testimony (of perceived experts/authority figures via social conditioning), rather than truths, formed by repetition, revision, practice. Yet they play a huge role in shaping our perceptions/perspective and consequently behaviour/actions. Our Senses take incoming stimuli and our mind then runs a storytelling narrative over them, as we attempt to interpret and make sense of what we see, hear, taste, touch and smell. Our senses can be fooled, our thoughts and consequently our perceptions/perspective misguided.
Question thoughts, beliefs, assumptions /inferences – start researching to find if they’re accurate/true
Be wary of having fixed/rigid beliefs and values. When someone tells you something, ask “How do you know?”
Expectations worth having;

Expect that if it can go wrong it will and at the worst possible time – prepare for it!
Expect nothing – drop any sense of entitlement – life and people don’t owe you anything, whether politeness, favours, forgiveness, a place in society, the right to make a living, good health, relationships, friends, family. Each day is a gift, appreciate everything you have, while you have it. Replace Expectation with Appreciation.
Expect change – Nothing stays the same, everything changes, change is a natural part of life, you can’t get stuck (in a situation)forever because things are constantly shifting. There are winners and losers in every situation, position yourself to win, be a predator of chance, rather than a victim of circumstance.
Expect things/situations to be more complex than initially meets the eye. i.e. political issues, skills etc. If something doesn’t seem to make sense, look into further to find out the complexities, rather than just giving an uninformed opinion.

Feeding The Ego, Or Using The Ego As Motivation

I recently came across a post on Facebook that read..

“If you want to feed the homeless than feed the homeless. But the moment you post it on social media you’re also feeding the Ego.”

To be honest it’s one of several with similarly framed messages, that I’ve seen recently and judging by the comments it can easily be taken as a message of criticism towards individuals that broadcast their activities of goodness.

Let’s just check we’re on the same page of what is meant by the Ego. The Ego is the unobserved mind, it’s the illusion that our thoughts are who we are, they are us. I describe this as an illusion, because thoughts are just thoughts, they are not us. They are fearful, irrational and conditioned, they are based largely on assumptions and inferences and while they can be used as a very effective tool, they are very destructive masters, if we blindly follow them. For more about the Ego check out our spirituality guide.

Now back to the post, I prefer to believe it’s a reminder, a double check to make sure the Ego is not taking over the intentions of such individuals. It’s an opportunity to bring AWARENESS to the situation, rather that blindly feeding the Ego’s sense of self, which isn’t particularly healthy.

Spreading positive vibes is a good thing, I’d like to see more of it. We are bombarded through the media with negative events, after all we’re genetically wired to be interested in bad news to ensure our own survival if we ever find ourselves in similar circumstances in the future.

Also seeing people doing good deeds can act to inspire others to do the same, and that’s no bad thing. Goodwill can be contagious, it reminds us that giving, and helping are spiritually good for us.

Feeding the Ego, by doing good deeds, isn’t bad in itself either, we can use the Ego to provide motivation for us to do THE RIGHT THING. In such circumstances we can use the Ego as a motivational tool, rather than allowing it to inflate itself without us knowing that it’s actually doing so.

Bringing AWARENESS to the situation gives us space to observe the Ego inflating our sense of self. If you realise this is why you’re doing it, if it feels good and your sense of self feels better for it, you’re using the Ego, rather than being used by it, there’s a world of difference in that space between observer and intention. This becomes an opportunity for spiritual practice while at the same time helping others, and what can be bad about that. I say, long may it continue.

For more about spirituality.

For more about self awareness.

We’re all impostors!

Symptoms

Have you ever felt you are not worthy of your position, you feel like a fraud, out of your depth maybe. Impostor syndrome as it’s known is a common complaint, with as much as 70% of the worlds population being affected by it at some point.

Cause

Impostor syndrome can occur because of the natural tendency for self doubt, a fear you lack enough competence, a lack of confidence in your own ability.

It can also come from the perception that experts in your field are looking down on you or are more masterful or knowledgeable than you.

Consequences

The consequences of these feelings can lead to procrastination, where you delay shipping until whatever you’re working on is as perfect as it can be. If it’s not perfect, everyone will know you are a fraud.

You might find yourself undermining your achievements, to prevent the fraud from being realised by others.

A deep seated fear of failure may cause stress and anxiety, after all you don’t want others to discover the fraud you are.

You might play-down praise, because you and your work are really not worth it.

Rectifying

So how do you reduce these feelings of being an impostor? Well meeting your fears head on and seeking out peer feedback can be the first step, although this can also be the scariest approach. Alternatively seek out a mentor to help you through the psychological mind field.

Give yourself a break, you’re doing your best, we all are. Try to make incremental improvements as you go. Try to get better each day.

Realise that luck and chance play a bigger role in your success as well as that of others than you give it credit for. Few masters have got where they are from deliberate planning alone. Practice does make perfect, in time, and there are no shortcuts, you’ve just got to put in the work. Opt for purposeful practice, find the best way it can be done, rather than the best way you can do it.

If you’re doing something worthy, something new, there is no blue print, you’re treading new ground, so don’t worry about being an impostor because at this point you have to be.

You’re unique, with unique experiences, traits and views so utilise these to give your work something nobody else can.

Seth Godin says “Time spent fretting about our status as impostors is time away from dancing with our fear, from leading and from doing work that matters.”

We’re all impostors! So what? It’s not so much about us anyway, as it is about the work we do, so focus your attention on that alone.

For more about motivation, check out our motivational guide.

Free Yourself From Your Opinions

Get Results: bother each other with opinions

Strongly held BELIEFS and the OPINIONS that come from them, are often considered a good thing, but they are in fact the worst thing for the individual and for society at large, let me explain why..

It is amazing how people are able to convince themselves something is true or false, even in the face of contradictory evidence. They grab onto something, will often defend it with their very lives, and only pay attention to data that confirms their beliefs. Whether it be a religious, political, cultural belief or ideology, they have an unwavering conviction to their cause.

You can fool yourself into believing just about anything, if you set your mind to it, even without definitive proof or evidence to support your belief. Many beliefs and the opinions that come from them, are built on nothing more than assumptions and inferences rather than hard facts, and are ultimately motivated by fear.

History is littered with examples of opinions that have resulted in horrific consequences, such as Hitler’s conviction to rid the world of Jews, Bush and Blair’s conviction to fix Iraq to make the region and the world a safer place, both stem from beliefs built on assumption and inference driven by fear, and little to do with fact.

These are extreme examples, but we are all guilty of holding onto a belief far too tightly, and dismissing or ignoring anything that counters it, for recent examples of issues that have divided opinion think of Brexit here in the UK or Trump in the US.

In the case of Brexit, whether you’re a remainer or leaver, you hold onto a mentally constructed position with unwavering determination. Those that oppose your view, are considered ignorant, racists, cowards, undemocratic, or uneducated, depending on which side of the fence you find yourself on.

Have you ever wondered why you feel such affiliation to your position?

Eckhart Tolle is a revered spiritual teacher, his books talk about escaping the control of THE EGO. The Ego is the unobserved mind, it is identification with thought. It is the illusion that your thoughts are who you are. He recommends bringing awareness to the process of thinking, and by observing thought, you remove yourself from it. The moment you start to observe it, you remove yourself from within it, and from this perspective you can take control back.

His explanation for why people hold mental positions and the emotional responses they inevitable experience when challenged goes like this….

“Two or more people express their opinions and those opinions differ. Each person is so identified with the thoughts that make up their opinion, that those thoughts harden into mental positions that are invested with a sense of self. In other words, identity and thought merge. Once this has happened, when I defend my opinions, thoughts, I feel and act as if I were defending my very self. Unconsciously I feel and act as if I were fighting for my very survival, and so my emotions will reflect this unconscious belief, they become turbulent. I am upset, angry, defensive, aggressive, I need to win at all cost, lest I become annihilated, that’s the illusion. The Ego doesn’t know the mind and mental positions have nothing to do with WHO YOU ARE, because the Ego is the unobserved mind itself.”

So, if you do find yourself holding very rigid mental positions, bring awareness to them, observe them, question their underlying purpose. What are they doing for you? If you feel a negative emotion, next time you are challenged, step back from the emotion and observe it, and bring yourself out of the control of your Ego, step out of the emotion. You will feel better for it and mankind will only benefit in the long term. Emotional reactions don’t serve anyone.

Also question the accuracy of such beliefs and opinions, how much is built on assumption and inference driven by fear, compared to hard facts you know to be true, not from the testimony of authority figures and so called experts but from your own experience. After all, authority figures might be telling you only what they want you to believe, for their own gain, rather than in your best interests. Question everything you are being told, and be more flexible with regards to your beliefs. Science takes the approach of trying to disprove rather than prove hypotheses and this is a more effective approach to uncovering THE TRUTH.

For more about spirituality, click here.

For more about self awareness, click here.

It’s okay to be OFFENDED

Get Results: take offence for it to work

There are many things we can be OFFENDED by….

by inequality,
by racism,
by extremism,
by animal cruelty,
by bullying,
by media bias,
by politicians pursuing their own career goals over that of their constituents,
by emotional and physical abuse,
by religious doctrine,
by greed,
by anger,
by selfishness,
when people are rude,
when people don’t acknowledge when you let them go first,
when people push in, or don’t wait their turn,
by people that get offended and try impose their values on others.

There are so many things you can be offended by, if you choose, far more than I’ve listed above and it is okay to feel offended. Yes really, if you choose to take offence about anything, you can. But understand that taking offence is a choice, it’s an internal process about an external situation, event or occurrence.

It stems from your EXPECTATIONS and/or PREFERENCES that aren’t being met by the situation, event or occurrence.

It also comes from your ATTACHMENTS to ideals, ideologies, ideas, causes, things, people and your thoughts about all these things.

And finally it comes from your PERCEPTIONS of situations, people things, ideas and the world, universe and of existence itself.

The question becomes where do your EXPECTATIONS, ATTACHMENTS and PERCEPTIONS come from? Are they self generated or influenced by the society and culture you have grown up in, or are surrounded by?

Do you have a right to EXPECT anything from anyone or anything? Okay you can be excused for preferring one thing, or outcome, over another, but you don’t have any right of expectation, and you can’t really complain if your preferences aren’t met, can you?

Is it healthy to form ATTACHMENTS to anything or anyone. After all nothing really belongs to you does it? Your partner, your kids, your family, your friends are not really yours are they. They are people you share time and space with, who you love, of course, but when you mentally add a “my”, “mine” to them, you are more than identifying something in a descriptive manner, you are investing a sense of yourself in them. This is attachment. Your mind does this to make itself bigger, better, more. In our consumer focused culture, we are conditioned by society to seek more.

Society’s call to consumption works very well because it plays to our self preservation instinct and our fear of being nothing, because deep down in our psyche, we believe we are a fleeting, temporary particle in time and space and as such vulnerable and insignificant. Society benefits from telling us the more we have (the more we attach to), the more we will BE, because modern society is built on economic growth, it wants us to keep consuming products and services.

With regards to PERCEPTIONS, there is extensive research showing our perceptions to be deeply flawed and influenced by our inner belief systems and values. We see, hear, feel, taste, smell what we think we should see, hear, feel, taste and smell, what we’re primed to, and what we expect to. We run a story over our sense perceptions that works to join the dots, but rather than drawing a direct line, embellishes and exaggerates with story-telling imagination.

For instance, a number of years ago, I went out for a drink with a good male friend of mine. I genuinely forgot to take my phone out with me, this was the days before phones became an extension of our hands. When I got back after 2-3 hours I noticed 15 missed calls from my then, casual girlfriend. Listening to the messages in turn, the content went from a casual, “just giving you a call to see what you’re up to, give me a call back when you get this message”, becoming increasingly agitated with each subsequent message to the last one saying “I know you’re with someone else, why are you treating me this way? CALL ME NOW!!!” Let me just say, I wasn’t cheating on her, I had no intention of doing so, but she was unable to rationally explain the fact that I wasn’t calling her back, which I would normally do straight away, and began to let her imagination run riot, believing I must be cheating on her. I later found out she had been cheated on by an ex boyfriend and as a result had trust issues, but I must admit I was rather freaked out at the time.

Hopefully this makes the point that perceptions are interpreted by internal mental processes, which give all meaning to them. First the event or situation occurs, then the mind tries to find an explanation, which is based on individual beliefs and values, which in turn are built from our own personal past experiences, learned thoughts and behaviour patterns and habits.

I’ve highlighted above some of the reasons we might feel OFFENDED, and if you’ve spent any time on social media, you’ll have noticed the outrage and offence that people seem to feel these days about all sorts of issues, some major some minor. Offence is taken rather than given much of the time. I might offend you by something I say or do, but with no intention from my perspective to do so, but you take offence all the same. You will be offended if what I say or do, doesn’t match an EXPECTATION or PREFERENCE of yours, or if it involves something you have some ATTACHMENT to, or if your PERCEPTION tells you some story about it that isn’t in alignment with your EXPECTATION/PREFERENCE.

It’s okay to be offended, it’s impossible not to be at some point in life if EXPECTATIONS/PREFERENCES, ATTACHMENTS and PERCEPTIONS are at work, but OFFENCE has to be taken to be felt. Remember this, because often AWARENESS is the biggest weapon we have at our disposal to battle internal processing of external events, situations or occurrences and how we feel about them.

For more about self awareness click here.

Hiding Behind The Mask

Did you know we wear masks, and hide behind the social roles we play; we might be a parent, a brother/sister, a son/daughter, we might be a boss, an employee, a friend. We might be Bill the marketing guy, or Jenny the supplies manager. You might be a son, a dad, a brother, a boss to some, a subordinate to others, and Bill the marketing guy within a single day.

We play roles and wear masks because we’re conditioned by society to, after all, everyone is doing the same.

We might even get some comfort from this fact, we feel less vulnerable hiding behind a persona.

As a result, we don’t connect genuinely with others. We interact Ego to Ego, rather than soul to soul. My mask is communicating with your mask, and we’re not getting close to the real people below the surface.

Relationships are fearful, fraught, fragile, self serving and dysfunctional, because when we act from within our roles, from behind our masks, we know intuitively we are not being true to ourselves, we are pretending and we know this deep down, even if we don’t want to admit it.

So, be authentic, drop the mask, come from behind your social roles, and let your inner light shine through. If you fear rejection or the feeling of vulnerability, realise this is only the Ego (the part of you that mistakes your thoughts to be who you are) struggling to hold on to power. When you genuinely let yourself go, you can’t be hurt, particular if you fear you will fall, because outside the Ego there is no floor to hit, metaphorically speaking.

If you’d like to learn more about spirituality, check our spirituality and well-being guide

Hacking Procrastination

Many of us have fallen victim to PROCRASTINATION. It’s a real productivity killer, but have you ever dissected why you procrastinate?

I recently came across an interesting equation that provides some useful insight into the components that make up procrastination, and hopefully by looking at each of these components we can begin to analyse how each of us are falling victim to procrastination.

Motivation = (expectancy x value)/(impulsiveness x delay)

Lets look at each of these components…

Expectancy

If you feel confident of successfully completing a task, your expectancy will be higher and that will increase your motivation to get the work done.

If the task looks really difficult, expectancy will be low and you’ll be more likely to procrastinate.

Value

Value includes the rewards you get for completing the task, as well as how pleasant or unpleasant the experience of actually doing it is.

Impulsiveness

This is about how susceptible you are to falling foul of distractions and impulses to do other things, and this is directly correlated with procrastination.

The less able you are to resist the sudden desire to check Facebook, the more you’re going to put off working on that should do task.

If you can resist such an impulse, you’ll actually be strengthening your brain’s ability to focus. This is definitely a case of practice makes perfect.

Delay

This is the amount of time between now and when you’ll get any reward for completing the task.

The more you delay doing a task, the less likely you are to do it, because people naturally place far more value on short-term rewards over long-term rewards, even if the long term rewards are objectively greater.

So having identified the components that cause procrastination, the question is how to overcome them…

Increase EXPECTANCY

Break tasks into smaller sub-tasks. This reduces the psychological burden and possible anxiety, which can be experienced when taking on a particularly difficult task. The thought of taking on a particularly hard task can often be enough to prevent you from starting.

Don’t be scared to ask for help. If you can enlist the help of someone who genuinely knows what they are talking about, they can help you over the inevitable difficult bumps in the road.

Improve task VALUE

Improve the actual rewards for completing the task, such as visualising a more fulfilled life or enjoying the fruits of your labour.

Improve the experience of doing the work itself, such as doing the work in a nicer location/environment.

Add additional rewards for completing sub-tasks, such as can be found with gamification, or letting yourself watch a movie, or spend time on social media, when you complete something.

Prevent IMPULSIVENESS

Prevent distractions and temptations by removing yourself from them. If you’re needing to exercise, go to the gym where you’ll be immersed in a fitness focused environment. If you need to get an article written, work on a computer that has no internet access, so you aren’t distracted by social media.

Willpower get used up during the day, like a tank of fuel, so do hard things first when your willpower is fully charged.

Overcome DELAY paralysis

To make use of our natural tendency to put more value on short-term rewards over long-term rewards, break long term goals into shorter term ones, and give yourself a treat when completing them. This way you are making use of your natural tendencies, rather than trying to fight them.

The Pomodoro technique is a time management method developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980’s. The technique uses a timer to break down work into intervals, traditionally 25 minutes in length, separated by short breaks. This timer acts as an external motivator, and makes a bigger task more digestible.

So there you have it, work your way through the components of procrastination and figure out how best to hack each, and at the end of it, do what you want to get done.

For more motivational hack, check out our motivational guide.

Category: Motivation

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34 Important Life Principles

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We’re all impostors!

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Rectifying

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Free Yourself From Your Opinions

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It’s okay to be OFFENDED

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Hiding Behind The Mask

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Hacking Procrastination

Motivation = (expectancy x value)/(impulsiveness x delay)

Expectancy

Value

Impulsiveness

Delay

Increase EXPECTANCY

Improve task VALUE

Prevent IMPULSIVENESS

Overcome DELAY paralysis

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Knowledge

Motivation

Productivity

Meals so far

Progress so far

Summary

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Symptoms

Cause

Consequences

Rectifying

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Like this:

Motivation = (expectancy x value)/(impulsiveness x delay)

Expectancy

Value

Impulsiveness

Delay

Increase EXPECTANCY

Improve task VALUE

Prevent IMPULSIVENESS

Overcome DELAY paralysis

Share this:

Like this: