Do What Matters
The need for GAIN, for more, for better, for growth, seems to be part of human DNA and as such inescapable.
However these desires are in fact driven by FEAR and thus can be hacked.
You might think wanting more is great for motivation, and it can be if controlled, but it can also be the cause of great pain and suffering.
Check out our spirituality guide below for more about rising above the uncontrollable need for GAIN.
For more about self-improvement, click here.
Fear and fearfulness can be a real disabler, stopping you dead in your tracks and keeping you from pursuing your dreams and goals.
Fear manifests in the form of…
These behaviours come from some underlying fear, it could be fear of failure, fear of… coming to harm, even death, embarrassment, vulnerability, loss, poverty, change, uncertainty, discomfort, rejection… the list goes on.
Fear is a mind-construct and comes from working through scenarios of what might happen in the future, but because it’s thought-based it inevitably will be biased towards self-preservation and minimising risk and uncertainty where possible, because that’s what thoughts are conditioned to do.
Doing anything new, moving away from your comfort zone, will cause a fear reaction. It does so for everybody to some degree. The difference between those that act and those that don’t is confidence and risk-tolerance.
Some people naturally believe more in themselves or have been brought up to have confidence in themselves and are prepared to tackle uncertainty and risk, because they feel they will find a way through to a successful conclusion, no matter what.
Others have been conditioned to believe risk is dangerous and to play safe and/or have been brought up in such a way as to have their confidence eroded to the point that they just don’t want to take a chance.
Confidence is often built-up or demolished in childhood years, and the beliefs about ourselves, that are subsequently formed, follow us into adulthood.
We should increase self-awareness and truly challenge any limiting-beliefs, because often they are more likely to be reflection of the self-doubt of the very people who discouraged us from taking risks, dealing with uncertainty and change, rather than of us, as individuals.
Discouragement and warnings of what might go wrong, may have been made with the best intentions of keeping us safe, but result in a self-imposed prison.
Because they may be long-standing beliefs, it may take some time to break out of the groove they have imprinted on our minds and patterns of thinking, but bringing them into AWARENESS and challenging them is often the all important first step.
Repetition of a new empowering belief will form a new neural pathway through the power of habit. Put simply, replace bad habitual thinking patterns with good ones.
We would all like to be more successful in one way or another. Success is not just about having a profitable business, or achieving great wealth, but comes in the form of successfully achieving good health, having great relationships and being more fulfilled spiritually.
I’ve listed 10 great secrets for improving your chances of success, there are others and you can find more ideas throughout this website, so check them out at your leisure, there’s lots to read and watch on the site. Also please consider signing up to our newsletter to get content updates and exclusive material, not available on the website.
So let’s get on with it…
There are winners and losers in every situation. You can focus on blaming and complaining, or you can look to position yourself to win. Be a predator of chance, rather than a victim of circumstance.
We resist CHANGE because it brings uncertainty and risk, but it also brings opportunity. Changing your mindset, changes your results.
For example during the financial crisis of 2007-2008, which brought down most of the major economies, some financial institutions were quick to identify the problem and take positions to benefit from it, by shorting stocks.
Every crisis opens up opportunities, you just have to be clear minded enough to be able to take advantage, often in the face of fear and imminent disaster.
Challenge your perceptions, expectations, assumptions and interpretations.
Accepting the possibility of being wrong takes courage, and self-confidence
The aim is to have a more rounded perspective of the world and to be open to alternative ideas, views and methods of doing things.
Procrastination, blaming and complaining are clever psychological tricks aimed at making yourself feel better for not trying, or failing.
For instance procrastination allows you to delay the necessity to take action, you say, “I’ll start my diet tomorrow or at the beginning of next week or I’ll make it a new year resolution”. They are excuses that allow you to remain unchanged.
Blaming and complaining passes responsibility to others so you can feel better and free yourself from guilt, but passing responsibility passes power, the very power you need to make progress.
Be wary of what you choose to believe. Many belief systems are based on little more than assumptions. Assumptions about what we are being told and assumptions about the people who are telling us, assumptions about what is true and what is not.
You might see your Facebook feed taken up by people commenting on social and political issues, and if you’re like me you wonder how many of these opinions are nothing other than unresearched re-parroting of mis-truths.
In his book “Think and grow rich”, Napoleon Hill advises to always ask “How do you know?” when somebody tells you something, and if their answer happens to be anything other than “from first hand experience”, take it with a pinch of salt.
Going all-in, burning bridges, reaching the point of no return. However you want to term it, making sure you are committed means you have to make it work or else…
When you do anything half heartedly, with one foot in and one foot out, things seem to take much more time to reach a successful conclusion, if at all.
Success needs determination and perseverance, particularly when the going gets tough, and commitment means you’re more likely to push on rather than give up and throw in the towel. Road blocks and obstructions will inevitably halt your progress, to test your resolve. If you are to get past them you have to be resolute, or don’t even bother starting.
Make your goals dynamic rather than static. What I mean by this is, don’t focus on being a millionaire, instead make goals more action oriented such as… helping a million people get out of poverty by using [your solution]. This helps you link your GOAL back to where you are starting out from.
Start by focusing on helping one person then get better and more effective at doing it. The aim from there is to leverage your results to help more and more people. Ask “How can I help one person?” and progress from there.
Once you start on this defined path, progress is easy to measure and you are in a groove from the word go.
Have you ever used a magnifying glass to concentrate the sun’s rays and burn grass, insects or even a friend’s hand for a bit of, so called fun? Then you’ll appreciate the power of focused energy.
In the same way the sun’s energy is intensified into a small beam of heat, when you concentrate your energy onto a single thing, the power of that energy, of effort, in this case, is greatly intensified to much greater effect than would be the case if you were covering a wide number of different things.
When you spread yourself thin, your energy dissipates to a large extent. You are bound to get a drop in consequences and outcomes. Focus will maximise the return on energy invested, otherwise known as energy return on investment.
If you believe you can be an overnight success, make a website and earn thousands of pounds in passive income, you’re deluded.
There are many sharks hoping to sell you the next money making system for just $49. Forget it, the only person you’re going to make rich is the person selling you the system.
Success takes work, don’t be persuaded otherwise. Knuckle down and do something you love, and “GRAFT AT YOUR CRAFT“. Get into a virtuous cycle of continual improvement based on action and feedback, and learn as you practice.
The ability to leverage resources is the key to riches. Leverage requires employing a system to grow from one to many.
Think of opening a shop, and then two, three and more. You find a method that can deliver value to customers in one area. When you have it cracked you open in a new area and repeat.. If you drive a taxi for a living, you get a second car, pay someone to drive it for you, pocket any profit, repeat and rinse.
You can personally only work so many hours, there is a ceiling to your earning power. Businesses leverage the power of the many, for a common cause, and the owner makes a killing in the process.
The ability to manage thoughts and emotions is often the difference between achieving greatness or failing.
Think of the football player stepping up to take a penalty in a big match, with the world on the edge of their seats watching, half the people wishing for a miss, and the other half completely emotionally invested in a successful outcome. A place in history or abject failure, the consequences couldn’t be more stark.
If you’re not a football fan you might not appreciate this scenario fully, so instead think of a situation where success and failure hang on the outcome of one thing, one action, and try to imagine the pressure that builds, the self-doubt that surge’s through your mind and the impact on physiology. The stomach churns, the legs go weak, the mouth is as dry as a bone, the flight or fight mechanism kicks in.
Managing your thoughts is key to managing your emotions. Gain some perspective: if it’s not truly life and death, don’t build it up to be. Don’t believe your whole future happiness depends on this one break, because it doesn’t. Stop manifesting pressure that doesn’t need to be there. Improve your EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE because it will improve your performance.
The ability to look in the mirror and admit your shortcomings, your weakness and know what you would prefer to be doing is all important when crafting a life you love, but it’s not easy.
You have to let go of the image of yourself you HOPE TO BE or would like to see yourself being, and embrace the reality. If you suffer from low self esteem, this can be painful, but it is for the best, because it will allow you to move forward in a more realistic way.
There is no point in fooling yourself and wasting precious time. Bite the bullet, be honest with yourself and start moving down the right path, armed with a strong sense of self awareness.
The building blocks to success can be accessed through the following links, covering MOTIVATION, PRODUCTIVITY and KNOWLEDGE.
Quotes can be a great motivator. Good ones can help to inspire us to take action, and change perspective on how we look at upcoming challenges.
Words really matter, because they can unlock something in our psyche. Use quotes to move you towards your goal, towards your SUCCESS.
Here are some of my favourite success / get results quotes…
“If you focus on success, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get success”.
“Tears will get you sympathy, taking focused action will get you results”. – M. Turner
“If you want something you’ve never had, then you’ve got to do something you’ve never done”.
“Don’t be upset by the results you didn’t get, with the work you didn’t do”.
“You don’t always get what you wish for, you get what you work for”.
“Forget strategy, get results”.
“Success just beyond fear and underestimation of goals, use motivation and prioritised productivity to get you there”. – M. Turner
“Don’t make excuses, make results.”
“Excuses are useless, results are priceless”.
“If you tell people where to go, but not how to get there, you’ll be amazed at the results”. George S. Patton
“Accept the challenges, so that you feel the exhilaration of victory”. – General George Patton
“Effectiveness is best measured by results over time”. – Richard Tyler
“Live for something rather than die for nothing”.
“Courage is simply the willingness to be afraid and act anyway”. Dr Robert Anthony
“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity”. George S. Patton
“Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom” – George S. Patton
“Don’t be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps”. – David Lloyd George
“Do something today that your future self will thank you for”.
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep”. – Scott Adams
“I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”
“You’ll never find the right person, if you never let go of the wrong one”.
“Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try”.
“No matter how you feel… Get up, dress up, show up and never give up”.
“If you really want to do something, you will find a way. If you don’t you’ll find an excuse”.
“Don’t be ashamed of your story, it will inspire others”.
“Limit only exists in the mind”.
“If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money cant’ buy”.
“You can have success or excuses, not both”.
“Get out of your own way”.
“No risk is too great to prevent the necessary job from getting done”.
“Nothing worth having comes easily”.
“Children usually do not blame themselves for getting lost”. – Anna Freud
“The only bad workout is the one that didn’t happen”.
“When you feel like quitting, think about why you started”.
“Small changes can make a big difference”.
“We reap what we sow…choose what you nourish carefully”.
“While you are still waiting to find an easy way (or perfect time), someone esle is already getting results, because they decided making progress is more important than making excuses. ”
“Make big changes in small steps”.
“It’s not the load that break you down, it’s the way you carry it.” Lou Holtz
“I feel like i’m too busy writing history to read it.”
“Purpose is the reason you journey. Passion is the fire that lights your way”.
“Some people dream of success, while other people get up every morning and make it happen.” – Wayne Huizenga.
“Success isn’t always about greatness. It’s about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come.” – Dwayne Johnson
“Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.” – Bill Bradley
“There is simply no substitute for hard work when it comes to achieving success.” – Heather Bresch
“Success is a journey, not a destination.” – Ben Sweetland
“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.” – Jim Rohn
“If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t you will see obstacles.” – Wayne Dyer
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer
“Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.” – Pele
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
“Success comes from over-delivering on customers expectations. There are more than 50 quotes in this article.” – M. Turner
Check out more about MOTIVATION here.
Intuition, otherwise known as gut feeling, or sixth sense, is a feeling either of unease, or alignment, about someone or something. It is a method of communicate for the subconscious, which is in possession of much more information and memory than is available at a conscious level.
The subconscious, absorbs much more data than the conscious, holding much of that information in store, until it’s needed. So having a way to access this information is very useful and intuition is a direct link to it.
It’s easy to mistake the noise created from THOUGHT and THINKING to be INTUITION, it is not. THOUGHTS are largely driven from a FEAR based perspective. If we were coming at this from a spirituality point of view, we would say thinking is EGO based.
So the feeling of unease you might sense, in taking a particular action, might actually be due to fearful THOUGHT, rather than a more enlightened warning from INTUITION.
The difficulty comes from distinguishing the two, from one another.
Fear is the default perspective of the Ego, of THOUGHT and THINKING. It’s all about self preservation from this view point. Most of negative feelings you experience will come from this type of fear. Many irrational fears can be found here, such as the fear of public speaking, or the fear of venturing out of your comfort zone. These fears are not life threatening as such, but they might result in a negative physiological reaction, when you start to think about actually doing them, in the same way as if your very life were under threat.
Intuition on the other hand, is not driven by fear, but is more of an awareness of something feeling right or feeling wrong. It’s noticing the expression on someone’s face, not being completely in sync with what is coming out of their mouth for instance. It’s a sense that something is out of place, or, on the flip side, is safe to pursue.
Intuition comes from the accumulation of years of the subconscious absorbing many subtle and not so subtle things that the conscious filters out, so that we can function more efficiently on our day to day activities. But these things are noticed by the subconscious and this noticing builds up over time. It is only when something is out of place that many of us become aware of intuition, operating in the background of our consciousness.
Intuition also works in a positive way too, when things just feel right and everything seems to be in alignment.
Malcolm Gladwell in his book, “Blink”, says intuition is easy to ignore, due to its subtlety, which is why people often fail to recognize it. On the other hand, fear is much more effective at attracting our attention, by screaming what it wants us to do or not do.
Intuition is a feeling that comes from life experience via sense perceptions, using all of the senses (sight, smell, taste, touch, hearing), and subsequently utilises much more of the brain. On the other hand, fear simply activates the Amygdala as a neural shortcut, and that leads to a racing heart, energised by fearful thoughts.
Fear is activated for many levels of importance, it’s energised by imagination and self story-telling. Intuition on the other hand, generally only comes into consciousness for the important moments of life and is much more experience based in nature, and certainly not prone to such imagination and story-telling fantasies.
The feeling you get from intuition is usually a sense of peace and alignment, whereas fear can keep nagging at you, even when you know you’ve made the right decision, playing the devils advocate, continually questioning your choices.
Intuition can be for and against taking action. Fear is usually only against action in preference to maintaining the status quo, resisting change and uncertainty, and doing nothing new or challenging.
Learn to quieten the mind, to think less intensely and be less driven by irrational fears.
Back feelings up with rational decision-making techniques and tools like the decision matrix to add a second check to your decision making process.
Improve your self-awareness, by observing your own behaviour and habitual thought patterns, so that you can spot how and when your fears are activated.
Improve your clarity of purpose to help intuition. By knowing where you want to go, and having clear goals, you will better navigate your journey.
For more articles about INTUITION, click here.
Check out our Motivational guide.
I recently stumbled on the article below, by Erick Diaz, about using a shift of perspective to improve motivation and subsequently productivity.
Eric imagines being his 80 year old self observing his present day self and what he might think about how he is making use of his time today, from the perspective of someone with less TIME available to him.
This highlights how precious time is, but is only truly treasured when we have less of it available to us, when it is too late. Time is precious, we should make the most of it while we have it, because it’s a finite resource, that once used up, can’t be recouped.
I think it’s a great strategy for SHIFTING PERSPECTIVE, which is one of the building blocks for increasing motivation, you can check out the full article below. by following the link.
What is the most clever life hack you’ve learned? by Erick Diaz https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-most-clever-life-hack-youve-learned/answer/Erick-Diaz-16?share=c8aa8aab&srid=uFZGf
Also check out our MOTIVATION GUIDE.
Spirituality is about reconnecting with your true self, which remains obscured, as long as you identify with your thoughts. When you identify with your thoughts, you believe them to be WHO YOU ARE, rather than realising they are just thoughts.
Think about this for a minute. How do we experience life?
We experience life through…
And what else…
Thought is good as long as you don’t lose self in it. After all where would we be without..
Thought is an invaluable servant, there’s no disputing that, but equally it can be a destructive master.
When trapped in identification with thought (Ego), you lose yourself in thinking. You take your thoughts to be who you are. You are unknowingly possessed by them. It becomes part of your sense of identity, part of your sense of self, but it is a false self.
Thoughts directly feed emotions and can make your life a misery.
Thoughts also colour your sense perceptions and Bodily awareness. They give meaning to them. Thoughts interpret your perceptions, they make stories of them, often based on what? Social conditioning, fragmented and limited life experiences, which you believe and value either positively or negatively. Beliefs and values are themselves, thoughts.
When lost in thought you live in fear of pain and suffering. Thought is consumed with the preservation of self, and always bases decisions on avoiding pain and suffering and the desire for pleasure.
It is competitive for what it believes are scarce resources, and tries to separate self from others, to make self more in comparison, by lower others or increasing self.
It attaches to the thought of possessions, relationships, mental positions, ideas, beliefs and values to make more of self. They are pulled into the false sense of self.
It judges and labels to better understand, pigeon holing and stereotyping as it goes, but in doing so. grossly reduces the ultimately unknowable down to a simplified version, which it better understands. It also does this to make itself bigger and better.
You become lost in thought rather than experience the world around you as it is. Life loses its sense of wonder.
Thought can only exist in a state of psychological time (past and future). Using the present moment only as a stepping-stone to the future. Or using it to relive the past, and using the past to predict the future. In reality there is only ever this moment, the present.
Awakening is the separation of awareness and thought. It is space around thought.
You become an observer of thought, and see thought as just thought. A very useful tool to use as you navigate through life, but a very destructive master. You no longer identify with it, or mistake it to be you. Awareness and thought are separated.
Consciousness is accessed through the present moment, the only point we can interact with life from. Past is memory, future is anticipation, both are thoughts.
If you’re in the present fully, thought cannot exist. It cannot diminish, or reduce life to something you can judge, label, attach to, resist, separate from, you are too present, within consciousness.
Joy flows into what you do, not from it, and any doing should have a full sense of consciousness within it. Bring BEING into any DOING.
You understand that you are part of the whole, life and consciousness, So much more than the confines of your skin. Consciousness becoming conscious of itself through you. Formless around form. Part of and one with the whole. “Life is the dance, you’re are the dancer” as Eckhart Tolle says.
For more about spirituality check out our guide here.
Why is it we are good at giving others advice, but struggle with our own situations.
For instance people advise others about relationships when they themselves are in bad relationships. Maybe we should take our own advice. This isn’t a criticism, it’s just a recommendation.
We know the answers, when it comes to other people, but we can’t see it for ourselves. When we’re caught up in our own emotions, they tend to cloud our judgement. Rational thinking is easier when emotions aren’t present.
When we’re outside the scenario, everything is all too clear to see, but within it, everything is confused. If we imagine a stranger being in our situation, what would we tell them to do? Whatever the answer, is our solution.
You are HERE in THIS MOMENT,
which is OK.
But because you want to be
somewhere else, for you, HERE and NOW is not enough.
You yearn for SOMEWHERE or
SOMETHING ELSE/MORE/BETTER.
By doing this you are not fully HERE and NOW.
Your attention is already SOMEWHERE else,
doing SOMETHING ELSE,
via THOUGHT and IMAGINATION.
YEARNING or THWARTED WANTING results in a
feeling of discontentment because your EXPECTATIONS
and PREFERENCES are not being met by your perceived
reality of THIS MOMENT.
You may experience ANGER, SADNESS,
DISCONTENTMENT, lack of FULFILMENT, or some other
negative emotional reaction.
Changing the focus of your thoughts changes your mood.
If you replace ANTICIPATION with APPRECIATION, or
ACCEPT instead of EXPECT you feel better.
If you stay PRESENT in the MOMENT,
without IDENTIFICATION with THOUGHT.
you can not feel bad.
For more about spirituality.
For more about gratitude.
Imagine suddenly coming to the realisation that you play every role of every actor that has ever lived and is living. How would that change the way you perceive and treat other people? The Egg by Andy Weir, puts you in that very situation allowing a shift in perspective, to a more compassionate and empathetic point of view when dealing with others.
You have died.
You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident, nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two
children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you but to no avail. Your body was so
utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What.. What happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a.. a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup.” I said.
“I.. I died?”
“Yup, but don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies.” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the
afterlife?”
“More or less.” I said.
“Are you God?” You asked.
“Yup.” I replied. “I am God.”
“My kids.. my wife,” You said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be alright?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “..you just died and your main concern is your family. That’s good stuff
right there.”
You looked at me with fascination.
To you I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure,
maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry.” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t
have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but be secretly relieved. To be fair,
your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” You said. “.. so what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither.” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” You said. “.. So the Hindus were right.”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “.. walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void.
“Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “.. It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my
experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all past lives. You just don’t
remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders.
“Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only
contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or
cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the
experiences it had.”
“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your
immense consciousness. If we hung out here for a long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But
there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant
girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your Universe. Things are different where I
come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained. “.. I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know
you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “.. but wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have
interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s
happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You are asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” You persisted.
I looked you in the eye.
“The meaning of life, the reason I made this Whole Universe, is for YOU to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just YOU. I made this Whole Universe for YOU. With each new life YOU grow and mature and become a
larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “.. in This Universe, there’s just YOU and ME.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on Earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of YOU.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you are the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “.. You were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve
done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be,
experienced by YOU.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, YOU will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my
child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you
will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the Whole Universe,” You said, “.. it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.
By: Andy Weir
A great story, I’m sure you’ll agree.
I find it helps me look at other people in a completely different light, and allows me to examine my own attitude and approach to others. If we can be more compassionate and empathetic towards other people, we can connect in a more meaningful way.
Judging and labelling others, and we all do it to some degree, stops any meaningful connection by putting up prejudiced barriers. As a result we act differently in different social situations, we become actors, role playing. Thus connections are rarely deeper than the surface level of those roles.
We mistakenly believe the roles played by others, are a true representation of them, when in reality people are much more complex.
People’s attitudes and behaviours are much more influenced by their environment and situations, than we give credit for. We should be less judgemental, because we know very little about the person underneath the roles they play. Only by walking in their shoes, can you get close to possibly knowing how they feel and why they behave as they do.
Hope you enjoyed this post.
For more about changing perspective, check out this post.