Have you ever wondered why quotation graphics are so popular on social media channels? Maybe it’s because they allow us to shift our perspective to some degree. To look at an issue or subject from a different viewpoint. When we see a quote that says something like:
“People aren’t against you, they are for themselves”
It brings a different dimension to our thinking. We maybe get a glimpse of a different way of perceiving. I personally don’t think that’s a bad thing. We should continually question our assumptions, beliefs and values. After all where do they originate? Are they our thoughts or those of other people, that have influenced us in some way?
Our thoughts largely come from the world around us, our experiences shape them. We use our experiences to construct a framework of understanding, so that we feel safe to navigate through life. We emotionally buy into the concepts we are drawn to, and look for confirmation our view is accurate, often ignoring counter arguments.
Over to Tony Robbins
I recently watched a couple of Tony Robbins interventions, in which he was attempting to help people in psychological pain. Much of this approach involved psychologically re-framing the painful situation, into a more empowering one.
For instance there was a mother and daughter, who deeply loved one another, but greatly clashed in many of their day to day interactions. The mother had lost another daughter, some years before. That daughter had been the perfect daughter from the mother’s point of view, someone she got along with very easily, they just seemed to be perfect company for one another.
The mother, found the character of the second daughter to be more problematic, describing her as highly strung, and a control freak, basically finding her difficult to be around, partly because of the mothers own shortcomings.
The mother admitted she was much at fault for their problems, described herself as being badly organised, often late for appointments, which completely drove the second daughter crazy with rage.
So although the two loved one another, both found it difficult to spend time with each other, and rubbed each other up the wrong way. Tony uncovered through questioning the two ladies, that the second daughter had felt rejected by the mother because she wasn’t the model daughter her sister had been. She felt guilty she was the way she was, and hated herself for the fact she loved her mother so much and didn’t feel she could live up to her sisters standards, and that her mother didn’t love her back in the same way as she had her sister.
The mother missed the easy going daughter, and felt some regret that the second daughter wasn’t easier to get on with. Tony explained that as life doesn’t happen to us but rather for us, and the second daughter was in fact the very thing the mother needed in her life, and that she should appreciate her second daughter for what she could learn from her to be a better person. That intervention drastically re-framed the relationship in both mother and daughters minds, and they gained a great appreciation for one another after the intervention. The mother realised her daughters anger actually came from a place of deep love. The daughter realised her mother was mainly angry about her own shortcomings, and inability to match the daughters strict standards.
This is a great example of shifting perspective. Stop fixating on the negatives and start focusing on the positives.
Getting outside help
I think sometimes we need the intervention of a third party to help us see through difficult emotions and give us permission to believe in a positive re-framing of a situation. We don’t always believe in something until we hear it from someone else that maybe isn’t directly part of that situation. Maybe this is why many find comfort visiting counsellors or therapists.
Being your own third party
I sometimes like to think about how I would advise someone else going through something I am having difficulty with, it seems to help me change perspective and see it as a non-involved party. Most of us are good at giving advice to others, but struggle when we find ourselves directly involved. Emotions are usually the reason why this is the case.
Give yourself some space to take a more objective view, instead of letting the emotions rule your thoughts.
For more about motivational influences, check out our Motivation guide.
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Change Perspective Quotes
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” – Dr Wayne Dyer
“Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.”
“You have the capacity to change your life all with a simple shift in perspective.” – Demi Lovato
It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.”
“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” – Seth Godin
“You give meaning to your experiences, change the meaning and you change the experience.”
“Change your thinking change your life.”
“Whether a glass is half full or is half empty is nothing to do with the glass or its contents, but rather the story you choose to tell yourself about it. Changing the story changes your perspective.”
“People come into your life as either a blessing or a lesson.”
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” – Seneca
“Everything we hear is an opinion not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective not the truth.”
“People rely on stories they believe about themselves. You can change your story.”
“Life is a test, tests show what you’re made of, if you let it defeat you, then it will, if you want it to teach you, it will.” – getresults.org.uk
“The things you really need are few and easy to come by: but the things you can imagine you need are infinite and you will never be satisfied.” – Epicurus