The model above illustrates how improving the quality of our lives, starts with our thoughts.
THOUGHTS shape our ACTIONS
ACTIONS shape our EXPERIENCES
EXPERIENCES shape our THOUGHTS
Don’t take my word for it, think about your own experiences. What are the thoughts you have, the beliefs and values you hold? Where do they come from? They come from your experiences of life, through what you see and hear, how people and life treats you. Your upbringing, your relationships etc.
These experiences depend on your actions. The things you say, and do. Your impact on the people and world around you. What shapes your actions?
Your thoughts, the things you think about. The things that matter to you. Your beliefs values, opinions…. and so the cycle continues.
Let’s look at a couple of examples to illustrate the process.
If someone is extremely rude to you (experience), you may feel angry and this will influence your feelings and emotions (thoughts), you may keep playing the event over and over in your mind, fuelling the feeling of anger (thoughts). If this anger is intense you may display it in your behaviour (actions). You may snap at your nearest and dearest, who snaps back causing an argument (experience), further fuelling anger (thoughts), and so the cycle continues, unless something breaks it.
Let’s look at another example. Let’s imagine you have been cheated on by your ex-lover (experience), who you really cared about. You are still upset and distrustful of the opposite sex as a result (thoughts) even though a few months have passed since it happened, you are then asked out by someone else, but you turn them down, because you are not yet ready and still somewhat distrustful of the opposite sex (action), the person doesn’t approach you again, in fact avoids you like the plague in future (experience), yet they may have been the love of your life for all you know. You are failing to move on because of what’s going on in your head (thoughts), thoughts that relate to someone else, and nothing to do with the person that asked you out. Now it might be a good idea not to jump from one relationship straight into another, it is probably sensible, for a while at least, but on the other hand you might be craving a relationship (thoughts), but are fearful of committing again (actions) to someone in case you get hurt again. This means you stay single (experience) and miserable (thoughts). This cycle then becomes problematic, and unless you make the necessary changes to your thoughts, you are going to impact your experience of relationships going forward.
Think about the areas of your life you are struggling with. Go through the thoughts you have about them, the actions that result from your thoughts, and the experiences that are a consequence of your actions.
How do you break the cycle? You either move out of thought, out of your Ego, your mind, whatever you want to call it and rise into the spiritual plane. If you don’t buy into spirituality, then concentrate on addressing your thoughts, examine why you think what you do. Where your values, beliefs, thoughts, opinions and the like, come from and if they really make sense for you and your goal(s). Make positive changes to your thoughts and the rest will follow.
If your EXPERIENCES aren’t what you want, look at your ACTIONS and try to identify what you need to be doing to create the EXPERIENCES you’re wishing for. Then once you’ve identified these, go back and check that your THOUGHTS (beliefs and values etc) are aligned in such a way as to motivate those necessary ACTIONS.
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