The INSECURITY Paradox

Get Results: insecurity paradox
Get Results: insecurity paradox

INSECURITY can be very debilitating. It also has at the heart of it, a paradox. People tend to believe the more they HAVE, in the way of possessions and assets, the more they ARE. They entangle their self worth with stuff they own. They weigh their value as a person, by the size of their house, the brand of their car, the status of their job or business, the amount of money in their bank. The need to GET more, is driven by the need to BE more.

When operating from this mindset, and most people do if we’re being honest about it, then they’re never going to be able to satisfy this need. They will always want more. It’s an insatiable appetite that can NOT be satisfied.

On the other hand, and this is where the paradox kicks in, the more they HAVE, in the way of possessions and assets, the more they have TO LOSE. The fear of loss can be a further driver to accumulate even more stuff, in an attempt to get further away from the threat of loss and the possibility of HAVING nothing and thus BEING nothing. You see how insecurity feeds into this from all sides. It’s a situation that can’t be won.

INSECURITY is in fact a good motivator for CHANGE, but for the wrong reasons. When people buy into this way of thinking, there is no end point, it’s a constant source of discontentment in their lives.

If insecurity can be used to drive change and motivate action, enough to get you to where you want to be (goal), and you then have the capacity to switch it off and be contented with your situation when you have attained your goal, it can be a powerful tool. Unfortunately the underlying insecurity is often strengthened by being employed in this way and even harder to break, when you need to break it. When you reach your goal, you will have something else to strive for because your INSECURITY will convince you, you’re still not enough.

To prove this point out, look at the constant struggle many “A” list celebrities have with the constant need for approval, even when they seem to have it all, with millions in the bank and the adoration of their followers, their insecurity is often driving this need and subsequent behaviour.

Jim Carrey in a popular Golden Globes award acceptance speech joked;

“I am two-time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey. You know, when I go to sleep at night, I’m not just a guy going to sleep, I’m two-time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey getting some well-needed shut-eye. And when I dream, I don’t dream just any old dream. No sir. I dream about being three-time Golden Globe-winning actor Jim Carrey. because then I would be enough. It would finally be true. And I could stop this terrible search.”

He also is quoted as saying;

“I’ve often said, I wish people could realise all their dreams of wealth and fame so that they can see that it’s not where they’re going to find their sense of completion.”

So how do we get rid of INSECURITY? We all suffer from it to some degree, some more than others.

The most important thing you can do to free yourself from the possession of INSECURITY is to shine the light of AWARENESS onto it. Improve SELF AWARENESS and acknowledge the fact you are insecure. Even better confront and question your personal thought processes around insecurity.

Insecurity is built into us due to the evolutionary survival need. Insecurity helped our ancestors stay alive in a dangerous world, surrounded by wild animals. Today we still need it, to less of a degree, to survive in the modern dog eat dog world, but not to the extent that it drives us to despair.

It may have been further strengthened, by negative childhood experiences, and in more severe cases, from childhood trauma. If you’ve ever felt stupid, or that you’re not enough, that you weren’t as good as others, that others were better, faster, smarter, more capable, had more than you, were better looking than you, these would be examples of your insecurity, which are likely to be still haunting your memories and shaping your current behaviour.

To break INSECURITY you need to operate at a higher conscious level, above identification with THOUGHT. Thinking, particularly emotional thinking is always driven by fear. It’s main purpose after all is designed around our survival. When you take your thoughts to be WHO YOU ARE, you lose sight of the fact that thoughts are just thoughts. You can observe them, you can listen to the voice in your head, but as the observer you don’t make them part of you, of WHO YOU ARE, or THINK YOU ARE. 

Your TRUE SELF is hidden in plain sight. Only obscured by identification with thought. It requires a SPIRITUAL AWAKENING, which is nothing more than freeing yourself from IDENTIFICATION WITH THOUGHT. It can be something of a journey for some, but it’s well worth the effort of SPIRITUAL PRACTICE.

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