Get Results: motivation fear drives appetite for more
I recently created a couple of graphics around the idea that fear of being nothing drives us to get and thus be more. The first graphic was designed from a spiritual perspective and says:
“The FEAR of HAVING and thus BEING nothing drives our appetite to get and thus be more and more and more and more and more. In reality, we can never be nothing because we are everything.”
Get Results: fear drives appetite for more
The second was designed from a motivational perspective, with almost the same wording and can be seen at the top of this post.
This got me thinking about how, effectively the same subject, can be viewed as a negative and a positive, depending how you choose to frame it.
What both of these graphics are saying is true, the seeming contradiction comes about because of the intent behind how “THE FEAR OF HAVING AND THUS BEING NOTHING” is used.
If we psychologically lose ourselves in this fear, being fully identified with it, it becomes a negative because we are a slave to it. It controls us, rather than the other way round.
If we use it as a technique to get us to the next level, and to grow, without fully identifying with it, it can be a good thing that positively motivates us. This is a subtle but skillful difference, which is difficult to distinguish between. However the contrast is as different as day and night.
INSECURITY can be very debilitating. It also has at the heart of it, a paradox. People tend to believe the more they HAVE, in the way of possessions and assets, the more they ARE. They entangle their self worth with stuff they own. They weigh their value as a person, by the size of their house, the brand of their car, the status of their job or business, the amount of money in their bank. The need to GET more, is driven by the need to BE more.
When operating from this mindset, and most people do if we’re being honest about it, then they’re never going to be able to satisfy this need. They will always want more. It’s an insatiable appetite that can NOT be satisfied.
On the other hand, and this is where the paradox kicks in, the more they HAVE, in the way of possessions and assets, the more they have TO LOSE. The fear of loss can be a further driver to accumulate even more stuff, in an attempt to get further away from the threat of loss and the possibility of HAVING nothing and thus BEING nothing. You see how insecurity feeds into this from all sides. It’s a situation that can’t be won.
INSECURITY is in fact a good motivator for CHANGE, but for the wrong reasons. When people buy into this way of thinking, there is no end point, it’s a constant source of discontentment in their lives.
If insecurity can be used to drive change and motivate action, enough to get you to where you want to be (goal), and you then have the capacity to switch it off and be contented with your situation when you have attained your goal, it can be a powerful tool. Unfortunately the underlying insecurity is often strengthened by being employed in this way and even harder to break, when you need to break it. When you reach your goal, you will have something else to strive for because your INSECURITY will convince you, you’re still not enough.
To prove this point out, look at the constant struggle many “A” list celebrities have with the constant need for approval, even when they seem to have it all, with millions in the bank and the adoration of their followers, their insecurity is often driving this need and subsequent behaviour.
Jim Carrey in a popular Golden Globes award acceptance speech joked;
“I am two-time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey. You know, when I go to sleep at night, I’m not just a guy going to sleep, I’m two-time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey getting some well-needed shut-eye. And when I dream, I don’t dream just any old dream. No sir. I dream about being three-time Golden Globe-winning actor Jim Carrey. because then I would be enough. It would finally be true. And I could stop this terrible search.”
He also is quoted as saying;
“I’ve often said, I wish people could realise all their dreams of wealth and fame so that they can see that it’s not where they’re going to find their sense of completion.”
So how do we get rid of INSECURITY? We all suffer from it to some degree, some more than others.
The most important thing you can do to free yourself from the possession of INSECURITY is to shine the light of AWARENESS onto it. Improve SELF AWARENESS and acknowledge the fact you are insecure. Even better confront and question your personal thought processes around insecurity.
Insecurity is built into us due to the evolutionary survival need. Insecurity helped our ancestors stay alive in a dangerous world, surrounded by wild animals. Today we still need it, to less of a degree, to survive in the modern dog eat dog world, but not to the extent that it drives us to despair.
It may have been further strengthened, by negative childhood experiences, and in more severe cases, from childhood trauma. If you’ve ever felt stupid, or that you’re not enough, that you weren’t as good as others, that others were better, faster, smarter, more capable, had more than you, were better looking than you, these would be examples of your insecurity, which are likely to be still haunting your memories and shaping your current behaviour.
To break INSECURITY you need to operate at a higher conscious level, above identification with THOUGHT. Thinking, particularly emotional thinking is always driven by fear. It’s main purpose after all is designed around our survival. When you take your thoughts to be WHO YOU ARE, you lose sight of the fact that thoughts are just thoughts. You can observe them, you can listen to the voice in your head, but as the observer you don’t make them part of you, of WHO YOU ARE, or THINK YOU ARE.
Your TRUE SELF is hidden in plain sight. Only obscured by identification with thought. It requires a SPIRITUAL AWAKENING, which is nothing more than freeing yourself from IDENTIFICATION WITH THOUGHT. It can be something of a journey for some, but it’s well worth the effort of SPIRITUAL PRACTICE.
Check out my spiritual guide for more information. Sign up for our newsletter for content not available on the website.
What is it with mankind’s preoccupation with WANTING, wanting more and more, wanting better.. The growth mindset.
People often value WANTING more than they value HAVING. Think about it for a second, how much of your thoughts are made up of WANTING the next thing on your list and how much is spent appreciating what you HAVE?
So the lesson we need to learn is that being lost in WANTING should be tempered with AWARENESS of how our WANTING is causing us to miss the bigger picture perspective.
Bring AWARENESS into your THOUGHTS, add space around them. When we lose ourselves in incessant WANTING we lose ourselves in thought, and become preoccupied with what the future holds and in doing so, miss the PRESENT MOMENT where our lives actually unfold.
Below are a few graphics to illustrate this…
Get Results: Dog jumping off ledgeGet Results: Dog jumping off ledgeGet Results: Dog jumping off ledgeGet Results: Dog jumping off ledge
For more about spiritual awakening, please check out our spiritual guide.
Get Results: muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone
When things go wrong, sometimes the best thing to do, is do nothing at all and see how things play out.
Bad decision-making is usually a result of making rash decisions, under pressure and when you’re highly charged with emotion. This is not a good time to be making decisions.
Give yourself some space and time to think things through, even get someone else’s view, to try to get a different perspective.
I like to use the decision matrix to help me think choices through in a rational way, again, if you are finding it difficult to look at the issue objectively, get some assistance from someone you trust to help you with it.
But coming back to the initial point, sometimes the best decision is to do nothing, just let it be, and see how things progress. Sometimes things sort themselves out, without any intervention.
This is not to say you should bury your head in the sand and pretend it isn’t happening, hoping it will go away, this would be a disempowering coping strategy.
Instead, understand that doing nothing will always be one of your choices and not making a knee jerk reaction is nearly always a good idea.
Awakening is the process of lifting your awareness out of the Ego and freeing yourself from identification with compulsive thought. Doing so allows you to enjoy a more spiritual existence free of fear and all negative emotions which come about when living under the influence of the Ego.
Below are some quotes and wise words relating to awakening, that I have collated, and have taken inspiration and direction from, hope you enjoy them and find them useful on your journey to spiritual enlightenment.
Bookmark this page because I’ll be adding new content to it, as and when I come across it.
Get Results: Awakening: bringing consciousness into this momentGet Results: Awakening: separation of thought and awarenessGet Results: Awakening: free from identification with htoughtGet Results: Awakening: 100% present in this momentGet Results: Awakening: the moment you become aware of the Ego in you, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old conditioned mind pattern. Ego implies unawareness, awareness and Ego cannon coexistGet Results: Awakening: you don’t need to change just wake upGet Results: Awakening: outside the EgoGet Results: Awakening: recognising the EgoGet Results: Awakening: free of the EgoGet Results: Awakening: use thought don’t be used by it
Get Results: we can’t all be right but we could all be wrong
Eckhart Tolle describes, in his book A New Earth: Create a Better Life, how much of Mankind is currently under the control of the Ego and this is the cause of much social unrest and conflict around the world.
The Ego is thought you identify with, and to a large extent, is concerned with self-preservation, and in order to carry out that function is fearful by nature. It is preoccupied with the fear of pain and destruction.
Being rather imaginative, it comes up with all sorts of mind constructed scenarios resulting in its demise. It tries to build itself up so that it is more on the one hand, while resisting change and uncertainty on the other, instead opting for routine, consistency and predictability..
The Ego believes that by having more (possessions, ideas, psychological positioning) it will be more, and the more it is, the less chance of being nothing. While at the same time, fearing the more it has, the more it has to lose.
There is no scenario, that can end well, from a mindset of fear. Fear makes us inward looking, exclusive and more selfish because we believe the lie of scarcity, if there is not enough to go round we better grab our share, while we can.
Fear creates division, which in turn breaks communication, which in turn creates misunderstanding. For us to be more there needs to be an “other” that has less. We can’t be better or stronger if there isn’t an “other” to be less or weaker. There is no greater “other” than an “enemy”.
We all hold opinions based on social, political and cultural upbringing. Our parent’s, family, friends, colleagues, and mainstream media tell us their opinions and we make them our own, without really taking a long hard look at the logic and spirit behind them. These opinions become our beliefs and values, and over time, set into rigid thought patterns. We base all our decision making on these beliefs and values, they shape all aspects of our lives. Some of them serve us, but many hold us back from pursuing the kind of lives we would like to live, because they are consumed by fear.
Our Ego, in its attempt for growth, has us believing “we” are right and “they” are wrong. Our stance of superiority has us believing our perspective is the only valid one, so we fail to listen and be empathetic to other’s counter views, which are equally valid from their perspective. We can’t all be right but we could all be wrong.
Those with superior education might consider their views more informed, but if the source of that knowledge, turns out to be biased, than they might just be more brainwashed and less open to opposing narratives and views.
The media is largely responsible for fueling our fears, but they only supply what interests us, so while under the influence of the Ego, we pay more attention to, and takes interest in, fearful stories and bad news, so that we might avoid such situations ourselves in the future.
Get Results: awakening
What is the solution for escaping such a destructive situation? Return your self-preservation instruct to servant and end its role as master. Open your heart and mind to opposing perspectives. Embrace an empathetic mindset and allow yourself to learn from others. Without the Ego in charge, there is only love and inclusion, and from that comes peace and prosperity for all.
“Life gives you what you take from it.” – M. Turner
People give meaning to events, circumstances and experiences largely based on social conditioning, learned from your interactions with the world: media, parents and family, neighbours, school then later, work colleagues.
In the same way you learn cultural values, you learn what is the right way to think and behaviour in your environment, so that you fit in. This is bred into us as young children, when our brains are like sponges, before we can form our own balanced opinions.
It is true however that some people have a compulsion not to conform in such a way, and are often marginalised and find themselves on the fringe of society. These non-conformers follow their nature more closely because it doesn’t fit so well with social norms. They wrestle with this situation, often joining subcultures that better share their preferred beliefs and values. They reject the larger society rules but yearn to feel part of something, but which is more agreeable to them. These people may be more mature, questioning, inquisitive at an earlier age. They are free-thinkers by nature. We would all do well to question our own beliefs and values to ensure they make sense to us, and aren’t getting in our way.
Obstructive beliefs include things like like:
“Life, society is against people like me, I just can’t……”
“Life is meant to be hard, not enjoyed.” (so not true)
“People are trying to rip you off all the time, nobody can be trusted.”
“I’m not good or clever or experienced enough…” (Who says?)
“People like me can’t……” (who says?)
“Other people in this space have more talent, desire, determination, I can’t compete with them….”.
Well, while it might be true that others currently possess more talent, it’s really down to you, if you want something badly enough, then you will find the determination and desire to throw yourself into it and through purposeful practice, get better at it. If you don’t have the desire, or determination, do something that you truly love instead and get really good at that.
When something happens to us, we give it meaning based on our beliefs and values, and the story we tell ourselves about it. Changing the story, changes the meaning.
So while you can, through goal setting and planning, move your life in a certain direction, life will happen to you, good and bad, there is little you can predict for your future, but you can make every set-back a learning experience, every feeling of negativity a chance for spiritual practice.
There are always positives that can be taken from, or that come out of, any negative, if you make it so. Check out this Zen parable for some inspiration.
Life really does give us what we choose to take from it, if you believe it to be so.
Get Results: can ambition and spirituality coexist
Simultaneously seeking Spirituality and Ambition can seem like a contradiction but they aren’t, if you approach them in the right way.
The seeming juxtaposition comes from the fact that spiritualism tells us we are already enough, and that when we try to find ourselves in DOING, we, in fact, lose ourselves in DOING. It tells us that salvation comes from this moment consciousness, and that psychological time only serves to trap us in the Ego (identification with thought), which is only concerned with past and future and uses the present as a stepping stone to the future, with no intrinsic value of its own.
Ambition on the other hand has, at its very core, discontentment with the present situation and the desire for some future salvation, something better than what is. Ambition is also accessed through thought and if we identify with these thoughts, we are lost in the Ego.
So how can you reconcile the two? How can you be content with the present, yet yearn enough to motivate you to go for more or better? Well the answer comes from understanding that, you are already enough and that you really won’t find yourself in DOING, or in HAVING, or WANTING, and you shouldn’t be motivated to be better or have more, or be richer, for any self gain, or constantly losing yourself in thoughts of what might or could be.
Instead seek ambition only for selfless reasons, focusing on a present moment perspective. To contribute more, participate in the game of life as much as possible, not for yourself but in the service of others or the planet, or whatever floats your boat. See ambition as a game to be enjoyed, and an opportunity to express yourself, not for the serious pursuit of gain, for doing so is false, it’s Ego motivated and will keep you away from your true spiritual self. Instead do it as a method of expression, aimed at helping and contributing to make the world we live in a better place, even if it’s in a very small or narrow way. After all we can make the world a better place, even by the simple act of smiling at a stranger, as they walk by.
The Ego wants more, better, and seeks gain for selfish reasons, because it is consumed with fear… of loss, and of not being enough, and in that pursuit comes greed, fear and the desire for power, which ultimately are doomed to end in pain. When you fight to be better, you position yourself separate from others, and adopt a competitive mindset, classic Ego positioning.
Alternatively when you act to serve others, for the good of others, you take up an inclusive mindset. It maximises your impact, without using it to serve your Ego, or trying to pump yourself up. When you do it to make yourself feel better, you have moved under the influence of the Ego. Use your Ego to serve you, don’t let it take over as master. The difference is subtle, but vastly different at the same time.
Live you life by focusing your attention on this moment, the moment you live your life though. Stop living in and identifying with thought. You can still use thought for goal setting and planning purposes, when necessary, but even that process can be done while remaining in the moment, without getting lost in thought and letting it take over you.
The New Year is 6 days old and already the numbers of people going to the gym are dwindling. So much for all those well intentioned New Years resolutions.
Willpower can only take us so far. The effort needed to initiate momentum is finite, it runs out the more its used.
Habits are our saving grace because they take over where willpower leaves off, they are what help us over the longer term.
But habits don’t kick in for at least 30 days of continuous routine, where you do something religiously, almost everyday. After 30 days or so, habit will take over and make the process more automatic. You won’t be thinking about whether to do it or not quite so much, and on the flip side, you will feel a tinge of guilt if you miss a day. Six days of effort isn’t ever going to be nearly enough, persevere through to the end of January at least.
Bad habits tend to be harder to break than good ones, so a few days taking time away/off, results in an interruption of your inertia, which breaks your routine, and consequently the habit, so don’t weaken and get lazy. Health should be a lifestyle, afterall.
Set yourself a tangible goal, and act with purpose in its realisation. Put in the effort to get some momentum, until it becomes habit and then it will be easier to keep going.
For more about increasing your motivation, check out our MOTIVATION GUIDE.
I’ve just finished watching “The Choice” on Netflix with Mrs Turner, and I would highly recommend it. But I’m not writing a movie review here, but talking briefly about what it got me thinking about.
I find choice to be an intriguing aspect of life.
Life is all about choice, right or wrong doesn’t matter because life keeps unfolding regardless.
Choices can be big or small, and can change the whole direction of your life in a heartbeat.
We are where we are because of the choices we have made to this point. The decisions about what to think, to do, and who to do it with or not, provide a continuous stream of options, each following the other.
The best or worse thing about it, depending on how you choose to frame it in your mind, is you get to make them, all of them.
I once made a choice to go away on an holiday, I wasn’t particularly looking forward to. I won’t bore you with the detail, but at the end of it all, it resulted in me meeting the love of my life and marrying her. If I hadn’t of gone on that holiday, and I very nearly didn’t, I wouldn’t have been in a position to meet her and experience the subsequent journey we have enjoyed together since. That holiday literally chanced my life, but really all the decisions we make have the potential to do that don’t they?
So let me wish you good luck with your future choices, may they bring you incredible joy.
