A few lessons to learn from the recent EU referendum…..
This morning Britain voted to leave the EU and the reaction of the stock markets was as could be expected, resulting in a lot of turmoil and rush to safety. Much of the political reaction was also based on fear and the prospect of an uncertain future for the country.
Always winners and losers (in every situation)
In reality there will always be winners and losers in any given situation. If we had remained in the EU there were no guarantees about what the future held. Hoping to protect the status quo is a nonsense, there is no such things as a status quo, things are always changing and evolving, whether we like to admit it or not.
When the price of sterling dropped like a stone this morning when the markets opened, had you bought a currency trade and sold it just after the bank of England speech a few hours later, you could have made yourself a lot of money. And so it is with every situation, there will always be winners and losers. It’s not really about what happens to you, It’s about how you deal with it. Change brings opportunities as well as risks. You can either position yourself in such a way as to take advantage of those opportunities or play the role of victim, and lose.
Change includes risk and opportunity
Emotion makes decision making much more subjective and fearful, if you can separate emotion, and emotive language from the facts, you give yourself a chance of making a rational decision. When we hold a strong emotional position, we may refuse to shift our opinion or back down to any opposing views and counter arguments. In truth, it’s not about being right or being wronged it’s about moving forward and making the best use of the opportunities that are inevitably available because of the very thing we fear…change.
We’re different: embrace the fact
Holding a strong opinion doesn’t make you right or wrong. Some people like to feel they have some control over their destiny, others like the sense of comfort and security. There are leaders and followers, risk takers and play safer’s and all have a valid place in society. They value different things and have different perspectives, and make decisions based on what they feel is right for them and their families. Accept this as part of life’s rich tapestry, don’t judge or ridcule others, respect their views, sure give them your opinion by all means, but know they are entitled to hold theirs.
Anger grows out of fear
When things apparently move against us and our perception is that the outcome is going to be bad for us, we may feel threatened and fearful. In an attempt at self protection, anger may result and be directed at whatever is deemed responsible for causing that fear. “Remain” campaigners saying “leave” campaigners are ignorant of the facts, have been brainwashed, are responsible for this mess, and have low IQ’s etc are attempts to make themselves feel better and increase their self worth. Discrediting others, is a defence mechanism, that inflates their sense of self. However a question we should all be asking is why do people feel such fear in the first place?
Follow your own agenda
During the EU referendum a lot of emotive language and stories of doom and gloom have been used by politicians and media on both sides of the debate, often designed to manipulate the audience into responding in a way that serves agendas of the politicians and media. It creates division and builds strong emotion, clouding the facts and making rational decision making more difficult. It builds on our fears and when we are fearful, we have a tendency to resist change even more than we would otherwise. Try to separate the emotion, and make rational decisions based on facts, don’t be a pawn in somebody else’s game, play for yourself. And even if you feel you are acting in your own best interests, ask yourself, based on what facts, not opinion or prediction, but facts.
The EU referendum has been one of those monumental moments in history. The future is uncertain, and either exciting or scary depending on your perspective. It is unprecedented in history so we will have to wait and see how it pans out.
I guess we will make it work, we always do. It’s in everyone’s interest for it to be a success. When there’s no alternative we can focus on making the one option we have work for the good of all us all as stakeholders.
Motivation lies at the heart of getting results. Without it you can’t get anything done. However motivation is made up of opposing forces, which makes progress more difficult than it otherwise would be. Let’s first look at the forces that help us move closer to our goals these forces are made up of internal and external supporting motivations.
Internal Supporting Motivations
Become Self Awareness
Self awareness is a key aspect of motivation, simply because it allows you to know why you do and don’t do certain things. If you can hack your subconscious and align your goals in such a way that they fit in with “who you are”, then the journey to achieving them will be a much easier one. This article is designed to allow you to discover and question what is going on inside your head, and force you to take a deeper look at what is helping you and more importantly. hindering you making progress towards your goals.
Take Responsibility
It is so important that you take responsibility for your results. Stop blaming your situation, your living arrangements, your job, stop blaming other people around you, like your spouse, your boss. When you pass blame to someone or something else, you also pass power, the very power you need to do something about it.
When you take responsibility, you empower yourself to find a solution and take action. It is a huge mental shift in the way you approach situations. You become a problem solver instead of a just a problem spotter. You access the creative part of your brain, rather than being in “wait and see what happens” mode, hoping for someone else to sort it out for you.
Tap into your Purpose
If you have purpose, a strong reason why you want or even need your goal, and you desire that goal so much, taking action is going to be that much easier. If you’re about to lose your home because you can’t make your next mortgage payment, you’re more likely to take that shitty job, than you would if you had a years worth of savings in your bank account. What’s changed, your purpose has. You suddenly have to do something, you have to earn some money or else. This might not be an aspirational purpose like “bringing an end to poverty” or “finding a cure for cancer” but it is a purpose, the purpose of getting money to pay your bills, so you still have a roof over your family’s head. If that purpose is strong, or as desperate enough (as in the case of the previous example) you are more likely to take action, that you might not otherwise have taken. Purpose doesn’t have to be some romanticised great deed, it just has to work for you, and get you closer to your goals.
Form good habits
Habits are formed to ease the burden on thought processes. We don’t have to mentally process every little thing we do, especially with regards to things we do on a regular basis. We form habits that we just do, without thinking about. This frees our brains to concentrate on other things.
As part of this process we often form bad habits that no longer serve us. The best way of getting rid of bad habits is by replacing them with good ones. To do this you have to begin to take action on a regular basis and do something that serves your goals. If you want to be a writer, start to write 200-300 words a day. Do this everyday for 30-60 days, after which you will have formed a habit of doing it. Then up the word count by a further 200. when you have done that everyday for a month or so, up it again.
Embrace Change and risk taking
One of the main reasons we fail to take action, is fear, we will deal with fear later in the article when discussing blocking motivations, you might want to read that part of the article first and come back to this section.
“Embracing change” and “risk taking” are the same thing. We resist change because we fear the uncertainty that “change” brings with it. Embracing change is a difficult mind shift, but an essential one, if we’re to grow into our goals.
Many people falsely believe there exists a status quo, some fictional place where everything stays the same forever. The reality of course is that everything is always changing, and change is part of life. Life and change are inseparable, so face the truth, and stop resisting it. Be excited by the opportunities that come about because of it.
Risk is also a part of life, we risk death every time we walk out the door, every time we get into the car. We risk embarrassment every time we open our mouths, we risk loss of possessions every time we leave the house empty, or every time we put something in our pocket or bag when we go out. We can try to mitigate risk but we can’t live without being exposed to it.
Live with Gratitude
I’ve included gratitude here because, gratitude adds some perspective to our thoughts. If we are grateful for what we have now, our health, our family and friends, our ability to reason, and make decisions, our ability to communicate and get on with other people, if we are grateful for everything we have, we don’t need to take the attainment of our goals too seriously, so that the fear of not attaining them, paralyses us from reaching optimal performance. We want to achieve our goals but not so badly that not achieving them means we drop into a great depression. Make life a game to be enjoyed, not one that feels like life or death depends on your success, because in most cases it really doesn’t.
External supporting motivations
External supporting motivations come from things we get from other people rather than from within us.
Incentives
Incentives can be tangible and intangible. Tangible incentives can include money rewards, a chance of winning something like a holiday or prize. Tangible incentives are used to reward us for outstanding performance at work for instance.
Intangible incentives on the other hand are things like getting a pat-on-the-back, or a “well done”, a “thank you for your effort” from someone we respect or have done something for.
Incentives push us to behave in a certain way usually for the benefit of others, but we can use them to help us get results for ourselves. An accountability buddy for instance can spur us on, say “well done” when we do something good, and at the same time put us right when we fail to do it or do something that is counter-productive to our goal attainment.
Internal Blocking Motivations
Fear of ….
Well fear has such a grip on the human psyche, that it stops the majority of people ever pursuing their dreams. Fear is a perceived possible future devaluation of our sense of self, which simply means that we fear the thought of something that “might” happen to us or to things, people or ideas that are important to us. We fear death, embarrassment, rejection, being negatively judged by others, disappointment, being vulnerable, loss, poverty, the unknown, uncertainty, change, being let down by others, some people even fear success. In fact we fear most things. Fear is a thought about the future, and as we can’t do anything about the future, until it becomes “this moment”. Fear is nothing more than a made up thought or series of thoughts that might happen, but is much more likely not to happen. Stop focusing on what might go wrong and start dreaming about what might go right.
Limiting Beliefs and Values
We’ve all heard the stories of kids that were told they wouldn’t amount to anything, only to go on to become big successes. These people felt they had something to prove, and this motivated them to succeed, but for many, negative reinforcement can kill their motivation, and keep them trapped in mediocrity.
Social conditioning -the environment where we grow up, the people we are surrounded by, the stories we are told has a big impact on how our beliefs and values are formed through childhood and as teenagers, and these values have a major impact on our lives as adults. As the saying goes “If you believe you can or you can’t, you’re right”, the question is where did this belief come from?
Our thoughts are formed by our experiences which are shaped by our actions, reactions, and behaviours which are affected by our thoughts. It’s a cycle that feeds itself. It can be a virtuous cycle or downward spiral. If you can feed your psyche with positive thoughts, beliefs and values, this will positively affect your actions and behaviours, and this will in turn dictate the quality of your experiences and the way people react to you, for the better.
Conflicted Thoughts
If you feel conflicted about your goals you may feel you want them on the one hand, but also feel in some way you don’t want them. When you feel this way, you might sabotage your progress. you might want to be wealthy, but at the same time feel it will ruin important relationships you have presently, and this dampens your motivation to take action to pursue your goal.
Another type of conflict comes in the form of “want” versus “should” situations. If you have a goal to be thinner, and healthier, but you see a delicious looking cream cake that you really want to eat, you are going to feel torn between “wanting” the pleasure of eating the cream cake and knowing that you “should” reframe from doing so, if you are to achieve your weight loss goal. If you give in and eat the cream cake you are not just failing to moving closer to your goal, but are in-fact moving further away from it, which is likely to make you feel even worse. “Wanting”, more often than not outweighs “should” as a mental choice calculation. This is why we so often give in to temptation. The best way to overcome this is avoid situations that present such a choice in the first place. If there is no cream cake waiting for you in the fridge, you aren’t going to feel you are missing out on it.
Moving forward
Overcoming the blocking motivations by strengthening the supporting motivations is the name of the game. If we can have stronger supporting motivations and hack our blocking motivations we stand a better chance of progressing towards our goals.
Become more self aware, take responsibility, have a strong purpose, replace bad habits with good ones, embrace change and risk, be happy and grateful with the positives in your life today, get help from others and get them to reward you for good behaviour. Be less fearful of your imagination, lose those limiting beliefs and straighten out your conflicted thoughts about your goals. Do this and success is your next destination.
Check out our “Ultimate Guides” relating to business, marketing, health and wellbeing.
Self improvement or self development as its also known, is key to improving the quality of your life. Jim Rohn said it best when he said “You can have more than you’ve got, because you can become more than you are. The other side of this coin is unless you change what you are, you’ll always have what you got.”
#1 Emotional Intelligence
One way to improve yourself and your results is improving your Emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is seen as a predictor of highly successful people. Individuals that are high in Emotional Intelligence tend to be emotionally balanced, in tune with their gut instinct. They have an innate ability to listen, empathise, creatively problem-solve, and understand the why behind the actions of others. Gary Vaynerchuk is a strong advocate of Emotional Intelligence, he believes it to be one of his greatest strengths, and key to his success.
Gratitude
One way of tapping into your Emotional Intelligence is to give gratitude for what you already have. Lets call it an appreciation perspective. If you live a life of striving, it’s really easy to get lost in that striving. You are always looking to the future to find happiness, and as a result you are internally torn between where you are now and where you want to be.
This can lead to negative emotions, even chronic negative emotions such as anger, frustration, despair. Such emotions can adversely impact the quality of your life, even ruin it. While motivation is indeed key to driving action, you shouldn’t allow it to get out of control.
I recommend using gratitude to help you gain perspective. We can all benefit from remembering we are here by the grace of god. Our lives can be cut short at any moment, that alone is worth a great deal of gratitude. If you are healthy, mentally and physically, again you have a great deal to feel blessed about. If you find it hard to internalise such gratitude simply by thinking about it, do a few weeks volunteering at a local kids cancer unit, hospice, or care home to gain some much needed perspective.
Manage Stress
Another way of managing Emotional Intelligence is by managing Stress. Stress is caused by a fear of “a future potential devaluation in your sense of self”. You might fear there is a gap in your ability and the requirements of a future event, in other words you might fear you aren’t going to be strong enough, smart enough, wealthy enough, or good enough to cope with something that might (or might not) happen sometime in the future. Often the worry is greater than the actual event. Stop telling yourself stories and embellishing the downsides and worst case scenarios, instead be aware of the risk and try to mitigate it as much as possible, there are always ways around obstacles. Worry and fear are thoughts and only exist in your mind. When the event comes round you will either find you can deal with it much better than you anticipated, or that it doesn’t turn out to be half as bad as you thought it would be. This happens ninety nine times out of a hundred.
Become Self Aware
Another way of improving Emotional intelligence is by being Self aware. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses. Knowing what you like to do and don’t like to do. Instead of burying your head in the sand and trying to ignore these things, be honest and open with yourself. Confront them head on and work out the best way to either overcome them or find a work-around solution.
Self Reflection
Something that is closely related to self awareness is self reflection. Honestly auditing yourself, your thoughts, your actions, your performance, your results good and bad. Stand up to them. There is no failure in life, failure is a chance to learn something, make yourself better and move on.
Work on self first then observe others
To improve emotional intelligence you need to work first on yourself. Once you open yourself up to honest analysis, you will see with greater clarity what shapes the actions of other people around you. You will understand their motives better. You will pick up on the subtle signals and be able to read between the lines. You should as a result be more empathetic, more open to communication, by listening better you learn much more. Empathy is one of the greatest skills you can develop in your personal and business life.
Develop a Feedback Loop
As part of your growth, you should be open to, even encourage constructive criticism from people you trust. Encourage a feedback loop that helps you improve your game. Now this part comes with a caveat. You should have a strong sense of what you are about, who you are, what you want. Otherwise you can easily be manipulated into following other peoples agendas, or take on their insecurities and fears.
Its also important to understand that you are not going to get on, or be liked by everyone you meet, there will always be haters. “Haters gotta hate” as the saying goes, and it’s important to not let these people chip away at your self-esteem simply because they don’t want you to get on in life, or want to bring you do a peg or two. Ignore the views of these people, they don’t understand you and their opinion isn’t relevant, they probably have their own internal issues shaping their view.
Encourage honest, constructive feedback from people you genuinely trust and respect. Close family are not usually good for this because often they project their own fear and insecurities onto you and what you are trying to do, they don’t want you to get hurt so tell you not to do it. Instead of turning to family, try to find mentors or role models that have done what you want to do and encourage them to share their experience, and advice with you.
Assume the Best in Others’
Assuming the best in others is another way of improving your emotional intelligence. The human condition is driven by the need to avoid pain and desire to be more. This condition makes people irrational, isolated, and selfish. Most people operate in this mode almost unconsciously. It is their self preservation instincts that are ruling their behaviour, and we shouldn’t mistake this to be who they are. People are good at heart, they are possessed by their Ego’s, for more about this check out my wellbeing guide.
Become a Giver
One last point about emotional intelligence is one of becoming a Giver. Give back, or just give. The world would be so much better if people were more giving. Giving of their time, their attention, their love, their patience, their understanding. Looking at each of your relationships from a “what can I give to this person” will open up a vastly more expansive life than you currently live.
#2 Having a Strong work Ethic
Having a strong work ethic is also vital when it comes to self improvement. If you’re not willing to invest the time and effort in working on yourself, than you’ll just have to be content with where you are and what you have now. Gary Vaynerchuk advocates “working your ass off” to get what you want in life. “Hustling” your way towards you goal, instead of watching every episode of House of Cards. If you’re not where you want to be, the only way to get there is, to take action, massive action. The maths is simple, there are 24 hours in a day, if you sleep for 8, that leaves 16 hours. If you work 9 of those hours, you still have 7 hours to work on developing yourself.
While having a good work ethic is important, it’s not just about putting the time in but rather it’s about working smart. It’s about being effective rather than busy. Jim Rohn says “Don’t spend major time on minor things”, and this is so true. Success won’t come from hustling 16 hours a day unless you’re doing the right things during that time.
In his book “The One Thing”, Gary Keller offers up a great focusing question that you can ask yourself and keep asking yourself to make sure you’re not wasting your time on unimportant activities. “What’s the one thing you can do now, such by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary”. I’m not going to go into detail about this question here. If you want a detailed explanation, check out the book for yourself below
The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results
#3 Work on your strengths
Focus on developing your strengths rather than wasting time on bringing your weaknesses up to speed. Gary Vaynerchuk advocates “doubling down on your strengths and punting your weaknesses”. It’s good advice, even though it goes against the conventional advice of working on your weaknesses. Why is it good advice? Well because generally your strengths will be the activities you are naturally inclined towards. They are likely to be things you enjoy doing, and as a result will be more willing to do going forward. There is generally a reason why you do what you do and don’t do what you don’t do. It comes back to self awareness and knowing yourself better.
So it’s vitally important to know what you’re good at and not so good at. for instance, not everyone is cut out for business and being an entrepreneur, just because it’s the sexy thing to do at the moment, doesn’t mean you should do it. Be honest with yourself.
Stay in your lane, make your knowledge deep and narrow, rather than wide and shallow. To stand out you should aim to be exceptional at one thing rather than average at a lot of different things.
Summary
So there you have it, work hard to improve yourself. Consider it a lifelong project, one that you will never actually finish, but which keeps you pushing yourself to be a better person throughout your entire life. Be a master of what you know and a student of what you don’t know. Never take the view that you know all that you need to know, never. Be open to new ideas, open to new ways of doing things. Don’t be content with doing things the best you can do them, but aim to do them the best way they can be done. Most of all enjoy your personal journey of self improvement.
Check out our Ultimate guides for some self help information.
I use this model of analysis to help me achieve my goals by formulating a clear actionable plan
#1- Goal Setting
What do I want to do/achieve?
Do I know clearly enough what my goal is?
If I don’t know clearly, it will be hard to work out a plan. You must have a defined goal so that a plan can lead to its attainment. It’s ok if that goal moves along the journey, but have a goal before you make a start.
#2- Current Cause and Effect
What am I doing currently?
What is happening/not happening?
Why is it happening/not happening?
There should be a clear cause and effect to follow. Do this and this will happen. If not then clarify the plan further if possible.
#3- Remedial action
What can I do to correct?
What am I missing/not knowing which is important?
What am I not doing that I need to do?
Now that I’ve laid out the structure of the model, let’s have a closer look at this model of analysis in more detail:
Goal
What do you want to do/achieve?
Do you know clearly enough?
knowing what you want to achieve (having a goal) is crucial to developing an actionable plan to make it happen, but think about it in enough detail so that a plan to achieve it is crystal clear. Check out the example below for more clarity about what I mean.
Lets assume your goal is to make more money. There are a number of ways to look at this, what most people mean when they say they want more money is have more money in their pocket after they have paid the bills.
Now this can be achieved two ways, by making more money (increase in income) or saving money they pay out for bills etc.
Saving money is often easier to do then earning more, so we’ll cover this first. Now there are those essential things we have to pay, like rent / mortgage and utilities, which you can’t avoid but which you could look to reduce the cost of, by shopping around for cheaper suppliers, lower tariffs etc. It’s not exciting but it can really put extra money in your pocket if you take the time out to shop around.
For other costs/expenses, try to cut out the ones that are none essential, and that don’t add some enjoyment or value to your life. That’s the criteria I use for expenses.
Is it essential?
Is it adding value to my life?
If the answer is no to both of these questions, get rid of it. If you have debts like loans etc, pay these off as a matter of priority, don’t fail to pay them back, because this is both morally wrong and can affect your credit rating in the future. If you’ve done the crime do the time, so to speak. Just don’t be in a hurry replacing this debt with more debt in the future.
Imagine if you had no bills to pay and every pay cheque that came through the door was yours to keep and enjoy. When people earn more money they tend to take on more debt, they buy a bigger house and nicer car etc. All this does is keep you having to grind away to pay these things off. Once you have the nice car or nice house do you really feel happier? Really? If they do make you happier, then while they are none essentials they are adding value/enjoyment to your life, which is fine.
Earning more money on the other hand is dependent on the skills and knowledge you possess. Learning new higher-paying-skills, working more hours, and /or earning extra income on the side will help you earn more. There is no magic bullet here. Have a plan and work the plan based on your preferences, skill base and motivation levels.
So having the goal of simply “earning more money” isn’t going to be clear enough. By digging deeper into what this involves, will help you work out what options are open to you.
If you don’t know clearly enough, you will have difficulty working out a plan to attain it. Clearly defined goals make the plan easier to formulate and follow through to conclusion.
Current cause and effect
What are you doing currently?
What is happening/not happening?
Why is it happening/not happening?
There should be a clear cause and effect to follow. If I do this… this will happen. If not then clarify the plan further. There are never any guarantees, there is an element of risk to whatever you do, but progress on a best guess basis.
Look at what you’re doing now to achieve your plan. We are looking for a clear cause and effect. You do X and Y happens. Working backwards can sometimes help with each stage. So for instance, if you want to save money, but you’re not currently doing so, then, look to see if you are taking the necessary actions that will lead to this goal being realised, because it’s not going to happen otherwise.
You have to make it happen. Have you looked at what you’re paying for bills? Have you shopped around for cheaper alternatives? Action is key here. Doing what needs to be done to achieve the goal.
Remedial action
What should you do to correct?
What are you missing/not knowing which is important?
What are you not doing that you need to do?
Use something like the decision matrix to determine amongst alternative options, problem solving techniques to work out a way are around obstacles. Use role models to see if you are missing something, look at the models, systems, habits and relationships they use to achieve what you want to achieve.
Summary
This article is designed to make you think with more clarity about your goals and plan of action so that you can formulate and take actionable steps to make it happen. Empowering yourself to find the solutions you are looking for, rather than feeling you have no control about how things turn out.
It’s true that sometimes things don’t work out how you wanted them to, but I have found that having a goal, and a clear actionable plan to achieve it will move you in the right direction. Being flexible in your journey is fine, as long as you know the end destination.. A crystal clear goal makes the plan easier to formulate.
Having a goal of “Making more money” can involve earning extra income or having more money in your pocket at the end of the month by saving. If what you mean is actually having more money in your pocket at the end of the month, then this suddenly opens up extra options including saving on expenses. Be clear what you mean and by do so you find the options open up to you more clearly.
Hope you find this article informative and thought provoking. Please share if you did, thanks.
The Fear of Change is really the fear of a possible future devaluation in our “sense of self” otherwise known as the “Ego”. It’s the fear of the unknown and sense of uncertainty about the future and what dangers that future might hold for us.
The only way to make things better than they are at present, is to make a change – change the way we think and how we do certain things. Failing to change, often results in stagnation and a sense of getting left behind, because everything around us is constantly changing whether we like it or not.
We falsely think that keeping the status quo is the safest thing to do because it’s familiar and we know we can cope with things as they are “Better the devil you know” as the saying goes. This is an illusion. Change is the only reality, so embrace it and be excited by all the possibilities that exist because of it.
The negative things we fear aren’t real, they are only imagined. We can’t deal with future threats, because they are mind projections, which we play, rather like a movie, over and over. We simulate these experiences as if they were real. We feel the sense of danger, our bodies feel the stress as if the experience was actually happening to us. It’s important to know the difference between the bear in your mind that is going to eat you and the actual bear in real life that is going to eat you. Our mind will always gravitate to the “worst case scenario”, because it’s designed to keep us alive. But many modern day situations are not life or death.
Ask yourself “What is really the worst that could happen if things don’t work out, will you die?” How many times have you dreaded a future event, only to find the reality was far less scary than you thought it would be?
I embrace change, I find it exciting. It is the only way to live in our modern world. Doors will open for you, while others may close but the journey is what life is about, not the destination. So enjoy the ride. Open your heart, open your mind. Jim Carey said it best. “Open the door in your mind and when the door opens in real life just walk through it”.
For more information regarding motivation, check out our motivational guide.
“If you insist on holding onto EXPECTATIONS, then expect the future to bring CHANGE, and you won’t be disappointed.”
“CHANGE brings with it OPPORTUNITIES, stop focusing on the RISKS and look for the CHANCES.”
“Why we resist change – CHANGE = UNCERTAINTY = RISK = LOSS. In reality it also provides OPPORTUNITY. But we fear LOSS more than we value gain. So we focus on that.”
Change Quotes
“There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love. There’s only scarcity of resolve to make it happen.” – Dr Wayne Dyer
“Nothing changes if nothing changes”.
“When you reach a fork in the road, TAKE IT.” – Yogi Berra
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” – Dr Wayne Dyer
“The only way to make sense out of CHANGE is to plunge into it, move with it and join the dance.” – Alan Watts
“We can have more than we’ve got, because we can become more than we are.” – Jim Rohn
“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading”. – Lao Tzu
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance”. – Alan Watts
“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”- John F. Kennedy
“The key to change, is to let go of fear.” – Rosanne Cash
“Strive for progress not perfection.”
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” –George Bernard Shaw
“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” –Frederick Douglass
“Goals seem impossible only when you are not heading toward them.” – Mike Hawkins
“Everyday is a second chance.”
“If you don’t take risks, you will always work for someone who does.”
“Your life does not get better by chance it gets better by change.”
“I already know what giving up feels like. I want to see what happens if I don’t.”
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
“Run when you can, walk when you have to, crawl if you must, just never give up.”
“You create your own reality.”
“The distance between dreams and reality is action.”
“You create your own reality.”
“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.” – Tim Notke.
“Dont make excuses, make improvements.” – tyra banks
“Are your excuses more important than your dreams?”
“Make things happen.” – getresults.org.uk
“Decide – commit – succeed.”
“If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.”
“Let’s not regret what we did not do, rather everyday is an opportunity to do the things we will never regret.”
When we are small children, we learn by copying others. And if you have children of your own, or are ever around them, you know they tend to copy whatever you do.
Sometimes it’s cute, sometimes it can be embarrassing.
Throughout mankind’s history, most “learning” has come from copying.
For instance, if you want to learn a trade, you need to work with a skilled and qualified trades-person and be their apprentice, slowly learning the ins and outs under their close supervision.
NLP modeling works on the same principle of finding someone that is expert in what you want to do, and then copying them. You have to copy everything they do, not just their actions but their thought processes, and reasoning.
Obviously, the more complicated the skills required, the more difficult it is to copy them.
One crucial aspect of learning is the need to make mistakes, and to learn from them going forward, because no matter who you are modeling, they can’t have achieved any level of success without a significant amount of trial and error. Or as they say in NLP, “Trial and Feedback.”
Unfortunately, many people like to be told exactly what to do in the hope it will relieve them from making any mistakes.
“I’m ready for success! I’m ready to take action! Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it!”
But they discover the “secret” is to simply keep trying until they get it right, unfortunately most people don’t like this idea so much.
Sure, modeling can help. It can speed-up the process. But being willing to accept any “result” no matter how “good” or “bad” is required for any kind of real success to take place.
This may be the reason why most people are always looking for the next “big secret.”
They would rather wait their entire lives for somebody to tell them what to do, and guide them step-by-step, rather than simply taking action and seeing what happens.
Sure, it can be terrifying taking action. But it is also incredibly liberating. As you’ve likely realized from time to time, most of our deepest fears never actually materialise.
So when you do “wing it” just to “see what happens,” it’s rarely even close to what you feared could happen, and each time you try something, and accept whatever happens as valuable feedback, you will learn something.
Sure, often times you’ll learn what not to do, but this creates a foundation to build on and allows you to learn from your experience and at a much deeper psychological level.
Equally important is the deep knowledge that trying and “failing” isn’t so bad.
It can actually be kind of fun, as long as you have a clear idea of where you’d like to be eventually, and the persistence to keep going no matter what, you’ll not only get there, but have a lot of fun in the meantime.
Whilst developing a model for getting results in selling and sales, I found myself wondering about what people currently tend to spend their hard earned money on. I wanted to know if we tended to spend money on particular types of things over others and if they aligned with their long term goals. It led me to thinking about what similarities and differences existed in our spending habits. I came to the following conclusions.
As human beings we find ourselves trading our most valuable resource, time, in the pursuit of money, so that we can trade it for things we need or want. There seems to me to be only three broad types of spending that we undertake, they are…
Spending to “Consume“
Spending to (exclusively) “Use“
Spending to “Accumulate” (gain more money or wealth)
Spending to “Consume”
Spending to consume covers things we buy that are consumed in the process of using them. They are only used once, and then they are gone. Consumable purchases are frequently experiential in nature, but not always, and include things like food, and drink, and holidaying. Once they are consumed, they are gone.
We may spend our money in a fancy restaurant, buy a take-away or prepare a meal ourselves at home, and for slightly differing reasons. In a restaurant, our priority may be to enjoy the food, but additionally we want to take-in the ambience and enjoy the company we share it with. It becomes more of an experience than just eating in, and as a result we pay more for it, and are usually happy to do so.
Holiday’s also fall under this category along with everyday things like paying for petrol, electricity, gas, ink or toner for a printer, phone call minutes, insurance, and fares, such as flight or bus and train charges. Gifts also falls under this category, we buy it once and after the enjoyment of giving it to the recipient, the value to us, has been used up, we can’t give it to them twice.
Spending to (exclusively) “Use”
We spend to exclusively use many things, these are things we pay for and then use over and over until they are damaged, wear out or are superseded. Things in this category include the clothes we wear, the furniture we furnish our homes with, even the house we live in, and the car that sits on the driveway. There is generally more longevity to these purchases and on the surface probably offer more value for money. I earlier stated that holidays fall under the “purchase to consume” category, but buying a holiday home, would come under the “spending to use” category, because once purchased it can be used again and again.
You can buy things that appreciate in value like a home, or jewellery or art, or that depreciate in value such as clothes and vehicles.
If we lack the finances to purchase the item outright we can choose to rent or lease many big ticket items, such as cars or houses.
Spending to “Accumulate”
Spending to accumulate covers things like investment purchases which are aimed to make more money. Stocks and shares, property you flip or rent out are included in this category. If you run a business than marketing falls under this category as well as asset purchases. Other things may include websites, businesses, land, property, art, jewellery, precious metals, limited editions, and antiques that are bought to make money from.
Some of these items may also come under other categories. For instance jewellery can be purchased to use yourself and as an investment to sell on at a profit when you have finished with it. Your home also can be used in this way. So some purchases are not mutually exclusive to just one category.
If I look at many of the things I spend my money on I see this….
Mortgage – accumulate
Utilities – consume
Digital TV -consume
Phone – consume
Car use – consume
Insurance- consume
Food and drink include – consume
Holidays – consume
Clothes – use
Furniture – use
Home improvements – use
Studio Rent – comes under all categories, use (rental cost) consume (use the facilities over and over) accumulate (for business)
Cinema concerts – consume
Gifts – consume
Interest payments on loan’s allow you to enjoy the use of something or consume something or accumulate a return, so comes attached to the thing you buy with the money you borrow. If I was to put the actual interest payment under one of the above categories I would opt to put in under consume category, because you can only use it once, and then you pay again.
Having formulated these categories, I wondered which type of purchase offered the best value for money, which led me to ask the following question…
Are experiences better than having possessions?
Experiential purchases largely fall under the first category “Spending to “Consume”, where possessions tend to fall under the “spending to use” category.
Research seems to suggest that experiences are better than possessions for our well-being. although this runs against popular advice. We are taught that buying appreciating assets will make us wealthier because they will be worth more in the future than we paid for them (purchase to accumulate category). Whereas we will have nothing to show from spending to consume. But if we look at it in a different way, at the end of our lives will we look back and value the experiences we enjoyed or the possessions we used?
Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University who has been studying the question of money and happiness for over two decades says…
“Our experiences are a bigger part of ourselves than our material goods. You can really like your material stuff. You can even think that part of your identity is connected to those things, but nonetheless they remain separate from you. In contrast, your experiences really are part of you. We are the sum total of our experiences.”
“We consume experiences directly with other people,” says Gilovich. “And after they’re gone, they’re part of the stories that we tell to one another.”
A few popular quotes on the subject are…
“Fill your life with experiences, not things, Have stories to tell, not stuff to show.”
“collect memories, not things.”
“The person who has lived the most is not the one with the most years but the one with the riches life experiences.”
I couldn’t find any quotes that made the claim that having possession was better than having experiences, but I guess it is a subjective judgement for individuals to make.
So what’s the point in using these categories?
Well, I think it’s useful to use these categorise so that we can see the underlying value we derive from our spending habits and see if they align with our wider, longer term goals. We spend a good portion of our lives trying to earn money, so that we can buy the things we want to buy. but do we take any time out to really think about what we are actually buying and why? If you find you’re spending more of your money on consumable purchases, whilst trying to accumulate wealth, are your spending habits helping in the attainment of your wealth seeking goal? not really. In this example you would be much more successful adopting a “spending to accumulate” strategy. Okay, you still have to buy food and drink to survive, but instead of buying those concert tickets, maybe you should move that money into the “accumulation” category of spending.
If your long term goal is to enjoy the great experiences of life, as the research suggests, things like going on holiday or experiencing new things, and new people then some form of experiential purchase may be the way to go, and just something to think about here, many experiences, like enjoying the beauty of nature, don’t have to cost you anything, they are freely available for all, you just have to take the time out and be present and appreciative enough to enjoy them.
I hope using these categories will give you a different perspective to view your purchasing habits from, and allow you to take a more critical view of them.
Remember the most precious resource we have is time, you should ensure it is utilised well, and for a worthy enough purpose. Trading time for money is a must for most of us, so make sure you don’t fritter away your dosh on things that are not really worth the time you invested in earning it.
The model above illustrates how improving the quality of our lives, starts with our thoughts.
THOUGHTS shape our ACTIONS
ACTIONS shape our EXPERIENCES
EXPERIENCES shape our THOUGHTS
Don’t take my word for it, think about your own experiences. What are the thoughts you have, the beliefs and values you hold? Where do they come from? They come from your experiences of life, through what you see and hear, how people and life treats you. Your upbringing, your relationships etc.
These experiences depend on your actions. The things you say, and do. Your impact on the people and world around you. What shapes your actions?
Your thoughts, the things you think about. The things that matter to you. Your beliefs values, opinions…. and so the cycle continues.
Let’s look at a couple of examples to illustrate the process.
If someone is extremely rude to you (experience), you may feel angry and this will influence your feelings and emotions (thoughts), you may keep playing the event over and over in your mind, fuelling the feeling of anger (thoughts). If this anger is intense you may display it in your behaviour (actions). You may snap at your nearest and dearest, who snaps back causing an argument (experience), further fuelling anger (thoughts), and so the cycle continues, unless something breaks it.
Let’s look at another example. Let’s imagine you have been cheated on by your ex-lover (experience), who you really cared about. You are still upset and distrustful of the opposite sex as a result (thoughts) even though a few months have passed since it happened, you are then asked out by someone else, but you turn them down, because you are not yet ready and still somewhat distrustful of the opposite sex (action), the person doesn’t approach you again, in fact avoids you like the plague in future (experience), yet they may have been the love of your life for all you know. You are failing to move on because of what’s going on in your head (thoughts), thoughts that relate to someone else, and nothing to do with the person that asked you out. Now it might be a good idea not to jump from one relationship straight into another, it is probably sensible, for a while at least, but on the other hand you might be craving a relationship (thoughts), but are fearful of committing again (actions) to someone in case you get hurt again. This means you stay single (experience) and miserable (thoughts). This cycle then becomes problematic, and unless you make the necessary changes to your thoughts, you are going to impact your experience of relationships going forward.
Think about the areas of your life you are struggling with. Go through the thoughts you have about them, the actions that result from your thoughts, and the experiences that are a consequence of your actions.
How do you break the cycle? You either move out of thought, out of your Ego, your mind, whatever you want to call it and rise into the spiritual plane. If you don’t buy into spirituality, then concentrate on addressing your thoughts, examine why you think what you do. Where your values, beliefs, thoughts, opinions and the like, come from and if they really make sense for you and your goal(s). Make positive changes to your thoughts and the rest will follow.
If your EXPERIENCES aren’t what you want, look at your ACTIONS and try to identify what you need to be doing to create the EXPERIENCES you’re wishing for. Then once you’ve identified these, go back and check that your THOUGHTS (beliefs and values etc) are aligned in such a way as to motivate those necessary ACTIONS.
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So why is it you aren’t getting results? Why did something not work out for you? Why did you fail to achieve a goal?
Is it because you aren’t capable? You haven’t got the necessary skills to be effective? You just can’t figure out what went wrong,? Well if you said yes to any of these questions, you might be tempted to throw your hands in the air, give it up as a fail, and move onto something else.
Stay stuck
The trouble with this approach is, you will inevitably reach this point again, maybe not in relation to what you have done this time, but for sure, you will for something else, and what will you do then, give up and move onto something else and so it continues. You’re hitting the outer barrier of your capability and failing to push past it. If you can’t break through this barrier you’ll have to be content with your present situation. Be grateful for what you have, and settle for that, and many people do just that, they settle.
Lack of resources
When asked why they failed to achieve something, or why they did not achieve their goal, people often say that they didn’t know enough, didn’t have the knowledge, know-how, didn’t have enough time, money, or they didn’t get the right support from colleagues, family members or friends. What they mean by this is they didn’t have the resources. Time, money, knowledge, motivation, and support are all resources.
RESOURCEFULNESS is what counts
The truth is, it’s not a lack of resources that’s the problem, although these may indeed be lacking, but it’s resourcefulness which is missing, and this is the defining factor of failure. Resourcefulness comes from being in touch with your emotions. It’s emotions that drive you to take action.
We must tap into our passions and desires, find inspiration to pursue a cause bigger than us, we must desire the end goal enough to be driven forward, and have enough grit and determination to push through any obstacle that we will inevitable encounter.
Find MEANING in what you do
How do we do this? Well for a start we must make our actions meaningful by aligning them to a meaningful goal. Each action should contribute to the acquisition of that goal, steady but sure. Aim for a goal that is deeply desired, with great passion. A goal that challenges us, and is specific enough that we can clearly define it to ourselves.
Seek MASTERY
We must understand and believe that ability is not fixed or gifted, but comes from practice, repetition and the pursuit of excellence. Having a growth mindset will motivate progress, and help banish thoughts of having limitations. Be a master of what you know and an apprentice of what you don’t. Seek functional excellence in your chosen pursuit, and know that the only limitations we have are those we impose on ourselves or allow others to talk us into believing.
Be Creative
Being creative is about remaining open minded, and having the ability to stand back and see things from a different perspective, making the most of your resources (strengths, abilities, knowledge, tools, networks), You need to be able to look at your situation from a variety of angles and perspectives and then make use of what you have at your disposal to help resolve your problem. Look for ways to apply unrelated ways of doing things to your situation. Many innovative new products or services have made use of this approach, rather than trying to come up with something completely new. Why try to reinvent the wheel, when you can build on the work done by others.
Be Proactive
Take responsibility, if you try to blame others, you relinquish your power to take the initiative. Be on the front foot, rather than waiting for things to drop in your lap or come to you.
Be Connected
Being connected to information and people is a must. If you have the ability to acquire tools, and techniques and find, organise and more importantly use information effectively, you increase your ability to solve problems outside your current span of knowledge and capabilities.
If you are able to utilise other peoples’ resources, people like family, friends, colleagues, and/or associates, you increase your resourcefulness exponentially. It’s often the shortest and easiest path to getting a positive conclusion, but is a skill that needs to be developed and nurtured over time.
Start NOW!
To get better results, be more resourceful, by being determined to acquire the necessary resources to get the job done, no matter what, find a way. Find resources that will improve your KNOWLEDGE, MOTIVATION and PRODUCTIVITY. Where will you find these? Well check out our ULTIMATE RESOURCE GUIDES currently covering Weight loss, Business and Marketing, they’re a great place to begin.
We make decision’s every day of our lives, from the simplest decision about what to eat for breakfast or what to wear when we go out, to more complex problem solving decisions such as how to overcome an particular obstacle that is preventing us achieving a particular goal, or which choice of investment will provide the best return.
What is decision making?
Decision making refers to making choices between alternative courses of action. This involves a comparative assessment of the costs and benefits of different courses of action, however the future value of a choice is not always fixed or known before it is made. This means we can only make most decisions based on a “best guess” basis. So there is a level of risk associated with most of the decisions we make, particularly the important ones.
There are many factors that play into our decision making process, and the subsequent choices we opt for. Here is a breakdown of those factors.
Risk Taking
Risk taking refers to decision making when the outcomes of particular choices are not guaranteed, and the consequent uncertainty means that an assessment of the probability (chance) of a positive or negative outcome has to occur. Given that human thinking about probability is prone to many errors and biases, there are many important practical implications for risk taking behaviour. We will discuss many of these errors later.
We are constantly assessing the risks against the rewards of taking any particular course of action, especially if it’s an important decision. We have a tendency, as human beings, to prefer safety over risk and will often favour the status quo over action that has the potential of opening us up to risk, danger and uncertainty.
To overcome this bias we have to find the NEED, or WANT within us, to motivate us enough to take the risk, effectively swinging the balance in favour of action over settling for the status quo.
Choice Architecture
Choice architecture is the design of different ways in which choices can be presented to consumers, and the impact of that presentation on consumer decision-making. It’s the fact people are more likely to op-in to something rather than opt-out, if the default value is already the opt-in option and vise versa.
How things are presented to us has a greater impact on our choices than we realise. Big businesses have long since known this and set things up for their advantage, making the most of our natural tendencies and dispositions.
It’s important to realise that the creators of the modern world, are not necessarily designing things with our best interests at heart, and we should, at least, be aware of the possibility of manipulation from other parties.
For example, social media is designed to keep us hooked and coming back for more, red notification bubbles tap into our innate sense of curiosity, knowing we won’t be able to resist finding out what’s waiting for us on the other side of that click.
Inner conflict between WANT and SHOULD
This is the inner conflict between;
What do I want?
What should I choose? what we ought to choose
If you’ve ever struggled with your weight, this scenario will be very familiar to you. You want that delicious looking chocolate cake, rather than the salad, but you know you should, for the good of your health, choose the salad.
Facing these kinds of choices, uses up your willpower, which will eventually run out and you’ll succumb to the temptations. So remove the temptations or remove yourself from them.
This approach also goes for distractions. If you’re productivity is being adversely affected by your Facebook activities, lock your phone away or lock yourself in a room free of social media connectivity, until your work is done.
Influence of beliefs and values
This is a biggie and I’m not going to go too deep into beliefs and values here, other than highlight their importance.
All behaviours are a reflection of our thoughts, and thoughts that are repetitive, fixed, and invested with a sense of ourselves, are what we call BELIEFS, they are our beliefs. Conditions and rules that are attached to these beliefs become our VALUES.
Beliefs in particular shape how we behaviour, how we interact with other people and the world around us. They affect our affiliations, or passions, what we pay attention to, what we buy, and how we live our lives.
Much of our beliefs come from social conditioning, they are largely built form assumptions, and inferences, rather than facts and evidence. They are stories we tell ourselves to make sense of the world around us.
We look to confirm our beliefs, ignoring or rejecting counter-argument, rather than trying to disprove them, which is the scientific approach. This is what is described as confirmation bias, if you want to find out more about it.
The best way to deal with beliefs and values is to question their origin, their basis and accuracy. It’s much more productive to consider beliefs as hypotheses, which you look to disprove rather than prove, like science does.
If you can’t prove something, consider it a best guess, until more evidence is discovered.
Avoid throwing your opinions and views around, until you know for sure what you’re talking about.
If someone tells you something ask “how do you know?”, and “where is the evidence?”
Unknown consequences and outcomes
Many decisions are made with knowing what the consequences or outcomes will be. Sometimes we just can’t know whether choice A is going to be better than choice B.
We should instead weigh the facts, as we know them at the time, and commit to whatever choice we make and make the best of it, living with the consequences.
We are not passive recipients of the decisions we make, we interact and influence them as time progresses. So by committing to them and stopping questioning and second guessing ourselves, we give ourselves the best chance of getting the results we are looking for.
Choice overload, too many choices
Too many choices can be paralyzing, and results in nothing being chosen, so be wary of thinking more options are better.
Difficulty in evaluating and comparing choices
It can often be difficult to pick one choice over another because they offer different advantages and disadvantages.
It helps to have a goal that you’re working towards, and decide which is most likely to get you closer to it. That way you have a direction you’re heading towards. But even then some things might just not comparable so what do you do in such circumstances?
Well you decide on one based on the facts, and commit to it.
Errors in THINKING
Dealt with below.
How to too make better decisions
We would all like to know how to do exactly the right thing at all possible times, making good decisions in all circumstances. Some help was given to us back in 1738 by Daniel Bernoulli. The equation he came up with has been translated as:
The goodness we can count on getting from a decision we make, which is based on:
The odds of gain
The value of that gain
Expected value = (odds of gain) x (value of gain)
In itself this equation offers an effective decision making framework, but we must be wary of miscalculating the odds of gain, and be mindful about how we value that gain when using it. As long as we sidestep the many errors and biases in our thinking (which we”ll discuss below), we should be good to go.
Much of our decision making, depends on us using memory and comparison in our assessment of PROBABILITY (when we’re working out the odds of gain) and likewise when trying to establish the VALUE of that gain.
For example, if I asked you, would you consider buying a burger for £10. You would likely make an assessment about what else could be purchased for the £10, along with checking your memory to see what you had paid for a similar burger in the past. If you considered the burger to be overpriced, you would likely not purchase, if you believed there to be other things more worthy to spend the money on, you may opt for them instead. What you’re doing here is you’re making use of comparison and memory to determine the burgers value.
Other factors also come into play, for instance, if you’re hungry you’re more likely to opt to buy the burger. How I frame the question, might also impact your answer. If all your friends were buying a burger, you might decide to buy, just to fit in. If you knew you weren’t going to get the chance to eat for a prolonged time afterwards you might again, opt to buy.
So while this is a pretty straight forward decision, to buy or not, there are still a lot of potential factors that come into play. Decision making is not always so clear cut, particularly if there are a number of choices available.
Let’s look at some of the pitfalls that can befall us if we’re not careful, they consist of errors in judgement and personal biases.
Memory Errors
Let’s look at a couple potential errors in memory…
If I asked you “What is most common, dogs on leashes or pigs on leashes?”. You would most likely say dogs, largely because you have seen and remember seeing more dogs on leashes than pigs on leashes and because of this, memory is relied upon as more representative of fact. You are likely to be correct in your assessment, but unless you’re an authority about the world of pigs, and pig owners, you could easily be wrong.
If I asked you “Which is more common in the English language, words containing the letter “R” in first place or in third place?” You would probably be able to remember more words with the letter “R” in first place and would likely choose this as a result, when in fact there are more words with the letter “R” in third place. Because these are harder to recall we have a tendency to think there is less of them. These are examples of “Availability heuristic”.
Comparison Errors
Lets look at couple of examples of errors when we try to compare things,…
A £2000 Hawaiian vacation package is on sale for £700. You think it over for a week, but by the time you get to the ticket agency, the best fares are gone and the package will now cost you £1500. Would you buy it? Most people would say no. because they would not want to pay for something that was cheaper just a week before, even though the vacation is still well priced at £1500. If the price had just gone from £2000 directly to £1600 (without the drop to £700 in between) would you feel any differently even though the holiday is in fact £100 dearer in the second scenario? Many people would be inclined to opt for this situation given the choice.
Another example for you to consider. You are on your way to the theatre. In your wallet you have a ticket for which you paid £20, along with a £20 pound note. When you arrive at the theatre you discover that you’ve somehow lost the ticket. Would you spend your remaining £20 on a new ticket? Most people answer no. Let’s change the scenario and replace the ticket with another £20 note instead, so you now have two £20 pound notes, and this time you lose one of the £20 pound notes. In this circumstance people often change their answer to yes. Why is this? Well in the first scenario they say they do not want to pay twice for the same ticket, in the second scenario they take the opinion that just because they have lost £20, what difference does it make, they came to see the show and still want to see it.
In our last example, imagine you went to your local cinema and saw a small portion of popcorn for £3 and a large for £7, which would you choose? If a medium portion was then added for £6.50, which would you go for now? In tests, when the medium option was added, more people opted for the large portion than before, why? Because in comparison to the medium the large looked better value than it did before.
So you can see from these examples how easily errors can occur when relying on memory and comparison.
Poor assessment of Probability
Lets look at how our assessment of probability can result in bad decision making. There are two methods we use to assess probability these are:
“Representativeness heuristic” refers to estimating the probability of a particular sample of events based on their similarity to characteristics we feel are typical of the whole category population of those events. This may result in thinking some events are more likely than others, and that certain trends can be predicted. But if people fail to follow the true principles of representativeness, such as ignoring information on probability base rates or forgetting that small samples are less likely to be representative, then this can lead to false estimates as is seen with use of stereotyping. For example if we toss a coin, a sequence of HTTHTH is thought to be more probable than a sequence of HHHHH, even through they are equally likely
and secondly “Availability heuristic” (examples given previously) is based on estimating the probability of an event based on how easy it is to remember. This may lead to familiar, recent or popularised events being more available in memory and subsequently seen as more probable. For example murder might be thought to be more likely than other crimes because of its greater media coverage.
Faulty decision making
Rational decision making would involve taking account only of the odds of an expected outcome and expected value gain of each option. In fact, this is rarely the case, and is often influenced by some of these biases and errors in thinking:
Framing effects – how the problem is presented to us. This is particularly so with marketing messages and political messages which are aimed at getting us to react in a particular way. The way the information is presented often intensifies certain facts and downplays others, in the hope of pushing us towards a certain course of action. (check out our post on Hugh Rank’s Persuasion model)
Loss aversion – as humans we are wired through evolution to be more sensitive to loss than gain. As a result we want to protect what we have over reaching for more.
Elimination-by-aspects theory – this involves eliminating options by considering one relevant attribute after another.
Satisficing theory – choosing an option that has satisfactory attributes when it becomes available. Most commonly found when dating, we pick the first suitable mate that comes along, often rejecting others that come later, but that might be a better suit.
Conforming evidence trap – which involves seeking out evidence that justifies our choices and subconsciously ignoring contradictory evidence rather than looking at the whole picture.
The status quo trap – shifting deck chairs on the Titanic rather than jumping over while it’s sinking
The sunk cost trap – which involves throwing good money after bad in the hope of recovering losses rather than simply cutting losses, as evidenced by many gamblers and stock market investors.
Trial and error – where no decision can be considered correct unless it has been subjected to testing and scrutiny in order to accept or reject it. Which appears to be a rational approach, but is prone to subjectivity and influenced by the persons own values.
A few more to consider:
Compensatory rule – “we selected the security system that came out best when we balance the good ratings against the bad ratings”
Conjunctive rule – “we picked the security system that had no bad features”
Disjunctive rule – “we selected the security system that excelled in at least one attribute”
Lexicographic rule – “we looked at the feature that was most important to us and chose the security system that ranked highest on that attribute”
Affect referral rule – “everything they do is outstanding, so we decided to have them install our security system.”
Biases with Time
Time also plays a part in our decision making:
If I offered you £60 now or £50 now, you would likely go for £60 now.
2.If I offered you £60 now or £60 in a month most would go for the £60 now.
3.If I offered you £50 now or £60 in a month most would go for £50 now – because they don’t want to delay gratification.
4.If I offered you £50 in 12 months or £60 in 13 months many would elect to go for the £60 in 13 months because they think to themselves, what’s the difference between 12 or 13 months, I might as well hang on for another month and pocket an extra £10. But in reality the only thing that has changed between our third example and this one, is the time frame, and the fact that it is further away from the present moment. When we actually get to month 12 we will probably change our minds and wonder why we didn’t settle for the £50 in 12 months rather than wait and extra month for the extra £10.
What else plays a part in poor decision making outcomes
Decisions are made with our best interests at heart, and with positive intent, however we don’t always get them right as discussed. This is partly due to the “faulty thinking” we have talked about above but also other things play a part
External influences and pressure forcing our hand or influencing our decision making, such as time limit, peer pressure, salesmanship, fraudsters, threat
Luck plays a part in the final outcomes and we shouldn’t underestimate its role.
Unforeseen events and circumstances outside our knowledge at the time of the decision or after a decision is made. Unless we have a magic wand, there is little we can do about this. “With hindsight I would have….”
Deductive and Inductive Reasoning
We have included reasoning as part of this discussion on decision making, to highlight how we can easily stray away from accurate thinking, which can later impact our decision making effectiveness.
“Reason sits firm and holds the reins, and she will not let the feelings burst away and hurry her to wild chasms. The passions may rage furiously, like true heathens, as they are; and the desires may imagine all sorts of vain things: but judgement shall still have the last word in every argument, and the casting vote in every decision.”
— Charlotte Brontë
Reasoning or accurate thinking, as it is sometimes described, most commonly comes in the form of Deductive and Inductive reasoning and is often used in the search to find logical explanations for things around us. Why does this happen? How can I make this happen?
Inductive Reasoning
Inductive reasoning – is an hypothesis or idea about things we don’t know. It is built on arguments that do not have categorical support for the conclusion. We make many observations, discern a pattern, make a generalization, and infer an explanation or a theory. An example of inductive reasoning is:
Lots of people are interested in internet marketing, Mr Turner is a person, so Mr Turner likes internet marketing
The premise that “lots of people are interested in internet marketing” is true, as is “Mr Turner is a person”. The conclusion that follows “Mr Turner likes internet marketing” is logically correct, but may not be true. The reason for this is that while we have stated that lots of people are interested in internet marketing, Mr Turner may not be one of them.
Because inductive reasoning is based upon probabilities, conclusions are considered to be cogent, rather than true. This is because the probability exists that the two accepted premises may not truly lead to the acceptable conclusion.
Deductive Reasoning
Deductive reasoning on the other hand is when we have the facts or appear to have the facts and the arguments provide absolute support for the conclusion.
Deductive reasoning makes the strong assertion that the conclusion must follow the premises out of strict necessity. Denying the conclusion means that at least one of the premises is self-contradictory and thus not true. For example:
All human beings need oxygen to survive. Mike is a human being, therefore, Mike needs oxygen to survive.
For deductive reasoning to be effective the original premise needs to be true, as with the example used above. However check out the example below. Although the conclusion follows on logically from the premise, there is possible doubt over the validity of the original premise that “Every website that has an opt-in form on it, is collecting subscribers”. If this premise is invalid, the conclusion will also be invalid.
Every website that has an opt-in form on it is collecting subscribers, if I put an opt-in form on my website, I will get subscribers.
So the key to a creditable conclusion lies in the premise. If this is valid then so will the conclusion, if not, then neither will be the conclusion.
Another form of deductive reasoning is the Syllogism. A Syllogism consists of a minor premise and major premise and a conclusion and are of the form If A=B; and B=C; then A=C.
A=B (minor premise/specific instance) i.e. Patch is a dog
B=C (major premise/generalisation) i.e. All dogs can bark
A=C (conclusion) i.e. Patch can bark
There are a number of Syllogism fallacies that can producing faulty conclusions these include;
undistributed middle – some dogs (rather than all)
illicit major – last part (C) of the conclusion is broader than premise allows
illicit minor – first part (A) of the conclusion is broader than premise allows
Check out this article for a more in-depth analysis of Reasoning.
So as you can see, it is easy for poor reasoning techniques to impact our decision making effectiveness, and we should always be mindful of ensuring we are using accurate thinking in our decision making.
So as you can see there are many ways of making bad decisions. Below are more tactics designed at improving decision making.
Common Decision Making Methodology
There are often 3 levels of decision making that are generally employed:
The simplest THE REFLEX ACTION (knee jerk reaction. Unconscious, without considering the alternatives i.e. profits down – costs need to be reduced, or sales are slipping – prices too high. Here is a great example. A racket and ball together cost £1.10, Racket costs £1 more than ball, how much is the Racket? work this out for yourself, most people say £1, the answer is actually £1.05.
ALGORITHM or checklist. i.e. You come face to face with a tiger, You instantly go into flight or fight mode. You’re mind within a nano second asks itself, is it a big one? If the answer is yes, you run, if no, you ask yourself, do I have spear with me? If yes you might fight, if no, you run.
Using more sophisticated methods like, Cost Benefit Analysis and The decision matrix approach. Which involves listing alternatives and weighing the pros and cons of each, scoring them against each other and choosing the winner (see worksheet at bottom of post).
As individuals we usually make decisions using the first 2 of these. The first (Reflex action) is not recommended in most cases other than were you have no choice such as flight or fight/life or death situations. The second (Algorithm or checklist) takes the hastiness out of the situation and can help you to be more logical in your thought process. Most of the time we make decisions using our emotions and feelings and this can cause us all sorts of problems, it’s best to give yourself some space to remove the emotion from the situation and consider rationally the best course of action to take.The third option (decision matrix) discussed above is much more considered and allows analysis of the alternatives, but is likely to be biased by subjective preferences. You can ask for a second opinion as a type of check and balance, to help correct this.
More decision making tactics
Identify all factors that affect a decision (weight them against one another) for instance Cost versus Comfort plus emotional factors such as attractiveness felt by having/wearing etc. avoid letting emotions affect decisions. Write down the options and canvas opinion from trusted others.
Be aware of your perception of loss or gain. For instance offering people £20 or giving them £50, taking back £30 and offering a bet to win back the other £30. This framing effect will result in more people taking the latter option even though they would be getting the same thing. People will make bolder decisions to avoid loss (loss aversion)
We tend to post-rationalise decisions after the event. Avoid dressing up bad decisions.
Be aware of Priming – images/words/temperature/smells can colour peoples decisions later on. For example getting people to hold a hot drink can illicit warmer feelings towards someone soon after. So be aware of others trying to manipulate us.
Recognise intuition.
Use a two-tiered approach with a small group of core people who set the standards that a larger group can implement with autonomy but within those standards
Tap into as much knowledge as possible (mentors and mastermind groups)
Ensure those carrying out the decisions are involved in the decision making process.
Harvard Business Review blog recommends using the Trick acronym to aid decision making.
Two – tiered approach (detailed above)
Rapport with strategic team and implementers
Involve all – from management to customer in the decision making process
Cause and effect reversals – to remove self limiting beliefs that are effecting how you approach strategy. i.e. Is your strategy impacting your success, or is you success impacting your strategy?
Kahneman perspective – 12 question checklist to identify and reduce bias
Accurate Thinking
In his book “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill he describes the using accurate thinking as being the foundation of all successful achievements.
He advises to separate important facts from unimportant facts. An important fact is one that aids you in the achievement of your goal, if it doesn’t do this consider it unimportant.
Be wary of opinions prejudice and biases that come with them. Look for proof of hard facts. Ask “How do you know?” and stand firm until they have answered to your satisfaction.
If someone has a negative attitude about someone or something, be wary of what they say because it is sure to be negatively framed.
Free advice is usually worth what it costs
Never accept anything as fact until proven
Negative attitude = negative framing
Don’t give away what you want the answer to be when you ask a question, cause people want to give people what they think they want to hear
Ask “how do you know” when you can’t identify if something is true
Check out his book on Amazon by clicking on the image below.
Conclusion
Personally I like to use the “Decision Making Matrix” template below and get other people involved to get some perspective and offset some of my biases. while it has served me well, I would suggest finding what works best for you, however if you check out my post on problem solving you will find a large list of tools and techniques to help in your decision making.
I suspect the biggest takeaway from this post will be in identifying the biases and errors in thinking that may affect many of the day to day decisions that you make. Hopefully by being more aware of these you will look more critically at the decisions you make and what might be motivating them. Decision’s are mainly made on a best guess basis and are sometimes influenced by factors outside our control and span of knowledge at the time we make them. We can only control the actions we take and by examining our biases and errors in thinking, try to improve our decision making strategies.
When we think about things in the distance future we have a view of them, but as we move closer to them we change our minds. Our brains have evolved from a very different world, where we needed immediate gratification to survive. We need to be more aware of these old habits which are no longer relevant to our modern way of living, and be more willing or open to, delaying gratification.
For a working excel spreadsheet version of the form above please join my mailing list. All the calculations are done for you, just enter your own data.
I came about this Ted talk about how to make difficult decisions, I thought I would add it to this article because I thought it would provide great value.