I like Eckhart Tolle and his teachings, they resonate with me in a profound way. I’m not a devout follower of his, nor anyone else, but having put much of what he teaches into practice, I feel a greater sense of peace in myself. Some people “get” what Eckhart is saying and others don’t. So I thought I would try to do a walk through his teachings in a more summarised format.
This is my interpretation of what Eckhart Tolle is teaching…
Eckhart Tolle’s teaching boils down to….
Living in the moment, without identification with thought
and here’s the working out bit…
We identify with thought when we mistake them (our thoughts) to be part of us, part of who we are.
We’re not referring to thoughts that pass fleetingly in and out of our minds,
but rather rigid/habitual thought patterns.
They are what we refer to as our beliefs,
Strongly held beliefs are wholly responsible for our behaviours and the way we live our lives
What are our beliefs based on?
Usually nothing more than assumptions
Some of what we learn comes from first hand experience, but much more comes from what we see and hear..
from others, from the media, from so called authorities and experts.
We are conditioned/ taught to believe what we are told, we assume we are being told the truth, by people that know best, and who have our best interests at heart.
Many people are aware of this fact and question such assumptions more critically,
but many more blindly follow.
If you have strong beliefs, you close down openness and willingness to learn, to take a different view, to tolerate other ideas and approaches, to empathise
Strongly held beliefs cause us to be judgmental of others and ourselves.
Strongly held beliefs cause division, and force a “them and us” mentality.
Strongly held beliefs are driven by fear, and life, from a base of fear is scary rather than wondrous.
Strongly held beliefs are responsible for all the wars that have ever been, for all pain and suffering in ourselves and others. It is what is likely to end mankind’s time on earth, unless we wake up to the madness of identifying with thought.
How do you do this?
You spend more time “in the now”, in this moment, and less time in your head, thinking.
Do you believe that spirituality is nothing to do with REAL LIFE?
Well, let me ask, what do you think are the important aspects of real life?
Maybe you would reply that having a good job, earning enough money to pay your mortgage and bills, having good relationships with friends and family, doing things you enjoy and dealing with problems, are what constitute real life.
Would you agree, that all these important aspects of life are determined and affected by the DECISIONS you make?
For instance decisions determine where you live, what career or job you choose to do, where you travel to, who you choose as your friends and how you deal with problems. And is it not the case that these decisions are influenced, largely, by your BELIEFS and VALUES?
So where do your beliefs and values come from?
They are generally LEARNED through SOCIAL CONDITIONING: life experiences, upbringing, culture, religion, society, media, government, friends and family.
Beliefs and values are nothing more than rigid THOUGHT PATTERNS that you hold to be THE TRUTH, or at least your truth.
THOUGHTS are notoriously fear based, because we see ourselves as fragile, fleeting, and isolated from the world around us. Many people believe they have one life and when that life ends, it’s over. We believe we come into this world alone and leave it alone. This makes us cling onto life with fearful desperation. This fear and feeling of isolation forces us to be self-seeking, and driven by self-preservation and self-gain.
We psychologically ATTACH to things to make us feel WE ARE MORE, we believe the more we HAVE, the more we ARE. The more we are the further from BEING NOTHING we are.
Spirituality points to the fact that this feeling of isolation is a lie. That over indulging in THINKING, forces us out of the moment that life unfolds and into the abstraction of past and future and into the arms of fear.
Let me ask you a question, if you weren’t full of fear, what would you be doing? or put another way, if it were guaranteed that you could not fail, what would you do?
If the answer to this question is different from your current reality, than you can be sure fear is holding you back. The only way out of this fear is to seek a spiritual path.
Spirituality is about understanding we are not just part of the whole, WE ARE THE WHOLE, form and the formless that allows form to be.
So to answer the original question…
What does spirituality have to do with real life?
The answer is that spirituality is the path to a less fearful real life.
Why is it we are good at giving others advice, but struggle with our own situations.
For instance people advise others about relationships when they themselves are in bad relationships. Maybe we should take our own advice. This isn’t a criticism, it’s just a recommendation.
We know the answers, when it comes to other people, but we can’t see it for ourselves. When we’re caught up in our own emotions, they tend to cloud our judgement. Rational thinking is easier when emotions aren’t present.
When we’re outside the scenario, everything is all too clear to see, but within it, everything is confused. If we imagine a stranger being in our situation, what would we tell them to do? Whatever the answer, is our solution.
It’s common for people to believe the more THINKING they do the more chance of solving their problems or thinking their way onto success. While this is true to some extent, if it goes too far and a person gets so consumed with the idea of thinking their way to salvation, they will, in fact, find that THOUGHT is the root of all their problems.
Let me explain. Thinking is caught up in the past and future, psychologically speaking, and uses the moment that life unfolds as nothing more than a stepping-stone to whatever is wished for in the future. It is being constantly in a state of discontentment, wishing for something better than the present offers. The human condition is preoccupied with wanting to HAVE MORE and thus BE MORE than present reality, and this is also the case for individuals who, by other people’s standards already seem to have it all, such as the super rich and successful.
The difference between FULFILMENT and ACHIEVEMENT
If seeking FULFILMENT, you’re not going to find it outside yourself. Seeking growth is aligned to ACHIEVEMENT rather than fulfilment, but as soon as you start to chase down ACHIEVEMENT you move into the realms of discontentment and dissatisfaction. Yes these can be used as MOTIVATION and spare you onto so called greater things, but you won’t ever find FULFILMENT at the end of this road. You might find it later, after you’ve achieved, but it really isn’t connected to that achievement. FULFILMENT is with you now, if you look inside yourself, it is there, but not if you’re lost in ACHIEVEMENT, because the two aren’t particularly compatible. You can’t be fulfilled and discontent or dissatisfied.
So if you want to achieve more, understand that you’re not going to feel particularly fulfilled while doing so.
It’s important to take a closer look at your THOUGHT processes, so as to understand how you can help yourself enjoy better quality of thought and in the process a better quality of life.
How, what, when/where and why
Change HOW you think – your inner vocabulary. Tony Robbins said, “If you want to change your life, if you want to shape your decisions and your actions, shifting your emotional patterns are the key. One fundamental tool that can change it faster than anything else is consciously selecting the words you’re going to use to describe how you feel. This is how you create a level of choice instead of a habitual reaction.”
It’s the difference between using RAGE versus DISGRUNTLED to describe your emotions.
Change WHAT you think about – your focus. Change your habitual thought patterns and reactions. When something negative happens, instead of energising the negative reactionary emotion, change your thoughts to appreciating (gratitude) what good you have in your life. It’s hard going to start off with, but it does get easier with practice. Over time you will change your brains wiring though something called plasticity.
Change WHEN/WHERE you think – don’t lose yourself in thinking. Give time to be IN THE MOMENT, after all it’s the only point in time we interact with life in.
Change WHY you think. Sure we need to use thought constructively for things like problem solving and decision making, as a tool, even using emotional thought to aid motivation, but we should never get so lost in thought that the slave becomes the master. Thought should benefit us, after all thought is just thought, it’s not who you are, so don’t identify with thought. Always separate your awareness and your thought.
If you seek out a more spiritual existence, more connected with BEING, and less focused on WANTING, HAVING and DOING, it’s important to live in a state of non-resistance, non-attachment and non-judgement. The Third Patriarch of Zen Hsin Hsin Ming by Seng-T’san is a great guide to being more spiritually aligned.
The Third Patriarch of Zen Hsin Hsin Ming by Seng-T’san
The Great Way is not difficult
for those who have no preferences.
When love and hate are both absent
everything becomes clear and undisguised.
Make the smallest distinction, however,
and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart.
If you wish to see the truth
then hold no opinions for or against anything.
To set up what you like against what you dislike
is the disease of the mind.
When the deep meaning of things is not understood,
the mind’s essential peace is disturbed to no avail.
The Way is perfect like vast space
where nothing is lacking and nothing in excess.
Indeed, it is due to our choosing to accept or reject
that we do not see the true nature of things.
Live neither in the entanglements of outer things,
nor in inner feelings of emptiness.
Be serene in the oneness of things and such
erroneous views will disappear by themselves.
When you try to stop activity by passivity
your very effort fills you with activity.
As long as you remain in one extreme or the other
you will never know Oneness.
Those who do not live in the single Way
fail in both activity and passivity,
assertion and denial.
To deny the reality of things
is to miss their reality;
To assert the emptiness of things
is to miss their reality.
The more you talk and think about it,
the further astray you wander from the truth.
Stop talking and thinking,
and there is nothing you will not be able to know.
To return to the root is to find meaning,
but to pursue appearances is to miss the source.
At the moment of inner enlightenment
there is a going beyond appearance and emptiness.
The changes that appear to occur in the empty world
we call real only because of our ignorance.
Do not search for the truth;
only cease to cherish opinions.
do not remain in the dualistic state.
Avoid such pursuits carefully.
If there is even a trace of this and that,
of right and wrong,
the mind-essence will be lost in confusion.
Although all dualities come from the One,
do not be attached even to this One.
When the mind exists undisturbed in the Way,
nothing in the world can offend.
And when a thing can no longer offend,
it ceases to exist in the old way.
When no discriminating thoughts arise,
the old mind ceases to exist.
When thought objects vanish,
the thinking-subject vanishes:
As when the mind vanishes, objects vanish.
Things are objects because of the subject (mind):
the mind (subject) is such because of things (object).
Understand the relativity of these two
and the basic reality: the unity of emptiness.
In this Emptiness the two are indistinguishable
and each contains in itself the whole world.
If you do not discriminate between coarse and fine
you will not be tempted to prejudice and opinion.
To live in the Great Way is neither easy nor difficult.
But those with limited views are fearful and irresolute:
the faster they hurry, the slower they go.
And clinging (attachment) cannot be limited:
Even to be attached to the idea of enlightenment
is to go astray.
Just let things be in their own way
and there will be neither coming nor going.
Obey the nature of things (your own nature)
and you will walk freely and undisturbed.
When the thought is in bondage the truth is hidden
for everything is murky and unclear.
And the burdensome practice of judging
brings annoyance and weariness.
What benefit can be derived
from distinctions and separations?
If you wish to move in the One Way
do not dislike even the world of senses and ideas.
Indeed, to accept them fully
is identical with enlightenment.
The wise man strives to no goals
but the foolish man fetters himself.
There is one Dharma, not many.
Distinctions arise
from the clinging needs of the ignorant.
To seek Mind with the (discriminating) mind
is the greatest of all mistakes.
Rest and unrest derive from illusion;
with enlightenment
there is no liking and disliking.
All dualities come from ignorant inference.
They are like dreams or flowers in air –
foolish to try to grasp them.
Gain and loss, right and wrong,
such thoughts must
finally be abolished at once.
If the eye never sleeps,
all dreams will naturally cease.
If the mind makes no discriminations,
the ten thousand things are as they are,
of single essence.
To understand the mystery of this One-essence
is to be released from all entanglements.
When all things are seen equally
the timeless Self-essence is reached,
No comparisons or analogies are possible
in this causeless, relationless state.
Consider movement stationary
and the stationary in motion,
both movement and rest disappear.
When such dualities cease to exist
Oneness itself cannot exist.
To this ultimate finality
no law or description applies.
For the unified mind in accord with the way
all self-centered striving ceases.
Doubts and irresolutions vanish
and life in true faith is possible.
With a single stroke we are freed from bondage:
Nothing clings to us and we hold to nothing.
All is empty, clear, self-illuminating,
with no exertion of the mind’s power.
Here thought, feeling,
knowledge and imagination are of no value.
In this world of suchness
there is neither self nor other-than-self.
To come directly into harmony with this reality
just say when doubt rises “not two”.
In this “not two” nothing is separate,
nothing is excluded.
No matter when or where,
enlightenment means entering this truth.
And this truth is beyond extension
or diminution in time and space:
In it a single thought is ten thousand years.
Emptiness here, emptiness there,
but the infinite universe
stands always before your eyes.
Infinitely large and infinitely small;
no difference, for definitions have vanished
and no boundaries are seen.
So too with Being and non-Being.
Don’t waste time in doubts and arguments
That have nothing to do with this.
One thing, all things,
move among and intermingle without distinction.
To live in this realization
is to be without anxiety about non-perfection.
To live in this faith is the road to non-duality,
because the non-dual is one with the trusting mind.
Words!
The Way is beyond language,
for in it there is
no yesterday
no tomorrow
no today.
Translated from the Chinese by Richard B. Clarke
Featured in Jack Kornfield, Teachings of the Buddha.
Thanks for reading, please check out our spirituality guide while you’re here.
As a bonus, I came across this insightful audio version of Alan Watts “The Book” which covers the same subject matter and is a great companion for this post. If the video doesn’t play, please let me know so that I can update it. I have also included a link to the book and audible versions below, in case you want your own copy of a great piece of work.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuQnhtdZpCs
Further Reading
The Book by Alan Watts
This book explores an unrecognised but mighty taboo our tacit conspiracy to ignore who, or what, we really are… We are therefore in urgent need of a sense of our own existence which is in accord with the physical facts and which over comes our feeling of alienation from the universe. Alan Watts asks what is the cause of the illusion that the self is a separate ego, housed in a bag of skin, and which confronts a universe of physical objects that are alien to it.
When looking to attain HAPPINESS, attention is often focused on things like, the acquisition of economic wealth. The thinking goes, the more money a person acquires, the more freedom they can enjoy, and the happier they will be.
People also think the more stuff they own the more they will “BE“. Entangling possessions with their sense of self, can lead to all kinds of insecurities, because the flip side goes like this, the more stuff you have the more you have to lose.
Being a success is also seen to bring with it a sense of status. Society looks up to high achievers, putting them on a pedestal, so we can all aspire to be like them.
So ACHIEVEMENT becomes a measure of SELF-WORTH.
However if you’re looking for happiness in such things, you’re likely to be disappointed.
True happiness, will not come from anything external to you, from things like money, image or status.
Instead look to internal values and feelings that result in a sense of FULFILMENT.
FULFILMENT comes from things like personal growth and understanding of self, close relationships with friends and family and a strong sense of community and contribution. Such goals are more spiritual in nature.
We’ve included a number of guides on this website, that cover both ACHIEVEMENT and FULFILMENT.
These two aspects of life can coexist if you know how to balance them. Your primary aim should be to look after your spiritual health “BEING or fulfilment”, and secondary purpose is “DOING or achievement”. The aim should always be to bring BEING into any DOING.
I recently created a couple of graphics around the idea that fear of being nothing drives us to get and thus be more. The first graphic was designed from a spiritual perspective and says:
“The FEAR of HAVING and thus BEING nothing drives our appetite to get and thus be more and more and more and more and more. In reality, we can never be nothing because we are everything.”
The second was designed from a motivational perspective, with almost the same wording and can be seen at the top of this post.
This got me thinking about how, effectively the same subject, can be viewed as a negative and a positive, depending how you choose to frame it.
What both of these graphics are saying is true, the seeming contradiction comes about because of the intent behind how “THE FEAR OF HAVING AND THUS BEING NOTHING” is used.
If we psychologically lose ourselves in this fear, being fully identified with it, it becomes a negative because we are a slave to it. It controls us, rather than the other way round.
If we use it as a technique to get us to the next level, and to grow, without fully identifying with it, it can be a good thing that positively motivates us. This is a subtle but skillful difference, which is difficult to distinguish between. However the contrast is as different as day and night.
INSECURITY can be very debilitating. It also has at the heart of it, a paradox. People tend to believe the more they HAVE, in the way of possessions and assets, the more they ARE. They entangle their self worth with stuff they own. They weigh their value as a person, by the size of their house, the brand of their car, the status of their job or business, the amount of money in their bank. The need to GET more, is driven by the need to BE more.
When operating from this mindset, and most people do if we’re being honest about it, then they’re never going to be able to satisfy this need. They will always want more. It’s an insatiable appetite that can NOT be satisfied.
On the other hand, and this is where the paradox kicks in, the more they HAVE, in the way of possessions and assets, the more they have TO LOSE. The fear of loss can be a further driver to accumulate even more stuff, in an attempt to get further away from the threat of loss and the possibility of HAVING nothing and thus BEING nothing. You see how insecurity feeds into this from all sides. It’s a situation that can’t be won.
INSECURITY is in fact a good motivator for CHANGE, but for the wrong reasons. When people buy into this way of thinking, there is no end point, it’s a constant source of discontentment in their lives.
If insecurity can be used to drive change and motivate action, enough to get you to where you want to be (goal), and you then have the capacity to switch it off and be contented with your situation when you have attained your goal, it can be a powerful tool. Unfortunately the underlying insecurity is often strengthened by being employed in this way and even harder to break, when you need to break it. When you reach your goal, you will have something else to strive for because your INSECURITY will convince you, you’re still not enough.
To prove this point out, look at the constant struggle many “A” list celebrities have with the constant need for approval, even when they seem to have it all, with millions in the bank and the adoration of their followers, their insecurity is often driving this need and subsequent behaviour.
Jim Carrey in a popular Golden Globes award acceptance speech joked;
“I am two-time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey. You know, when I go to sleep at night, I’m not just a guy going to sleep, I’m two-time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey getting some well-needed shut-eye. And when I dream, I don’t dream just any old dream. No sir. I dream about being three-time Golden Globe-winning actor Jim Carrey. because then I would be enough. It would finally be true. And I could stop this terrible search.”
He also is quoted as saying;
“I’ve often said, I wish people could realise all their dreams of wealth and fame so that they can see that it’s not where they’re going to find their sense of completion.”
So how do we get rid of INSECURITY? We all suffer from it to some degree, some more than others.
The most important thing you can do to free yourself from the possession of INSECURITY is to shine the light of AWARENESS onto it. Improve SELF AWARENESS and acknowledge the fact you are insecure. Even better confront and question your personal thought processes around insecurity.
Insecurity is built into us due to the evolutionary survival need. Insecurity helped our ancestors stay alive in a dangerous world, surrounded by wild animals. Today we still need it, to less of a degree, to survive in the modern dog eat dog world, but not to the extent that it drives us to despair.
It may have been further strengthened, by negative childhood experiences, and in more severe cases, from childhood trauma. If you’ve ever felt stupid, or that you’re not enough, that you weren’t as good as others, that others were better, faster, smarter, more capable, had more than you, were better looking than you, these would be examples of your insecurity, which are likely to be still haunting your memories and shaping your current behaviour.
To break INSECURITY you need to operate at a higher conscious level, above identification with THOUGHT. Thinking, particularly emotional thinking is always driven by fear. It’s main purpose after all is designed around our survival. When you take your thoughts to be WHO YOU ARE, you lose sight of the fact that thoughts are just thoughts. You can observe them, you can listen to the voice in your head, but as the observer you don’t make them part of you, of WHO YOU ARE, or THINK YOU ARE.
Your TRUE SELF is hidden in plain sight. Only obscured by identification with thought. It requires a SPIRITUAL AWAKENING, which is nothing more than freeing yourself from IDENTIFICATION WITH THOUGHT. It can be something of a journey for some, but it’s well worth the effort of SPIRITUAL PRACTICE.
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What is it with mankind’s preoccupation with WANTING, wanting more and more, wanting better.. The growth mindset.
People often value WANTING more than they value HAVING. Think about it for a second, how much of your thoughts are made up of WANTING the next thing on your list and how much is spent appreciating what you HAVE?
So the lesson we need to learn is that being lost in WANTING should be tempered with AWARENESS of how our WANTING is causing us to miss the bigger picture perspective.
Bring AWARENESS into your THOUGHTS, add space around them. When we lose ourselves in incessant WANTING we lose ourselves in thought, and become preoccupied with what the future holds and in doing so, miss the PRESENT MOMENT where our lives actually unfold.
Below are a few graphics to illustrate this…
For more about spiritual awakening, please check out our spiritual guide.