The other day this saying randomly popped into my mind…
“Never ASSUME, it often makes an ASS of U and Me”.
Well it got me thinking about how ASSUMING impacts our lives. We often hear the word used when something has failed to happened, but which should have happened, because an assumption was made instead of checking. For example you might leave the house without your keys, only to realise after you’ve shut the door and locked yourself out, simply because you assumed your partner had picked them up.
That’s one example of assuming, others might include:
assuming we have the correct information,
assuming we are being told the whole truth,
assuming we have and understand all the facts,
assuming we know best.
I came up with this list while considering the current political debate ranging in the UK, where lot’s of strongly held opinions are flying around, based, to a large extent, on many assumptions.
So making assumptions can be very problematic, we should never assume anything, we should always double check, or do the research to make sure we have all the facts. Assuming is a form of laziness, which can cause us more hassle and pain further down the road.
I decided to look up the synonyms of ASSUME and came up with the following list:
taking for granted
taken as given
accept
conclude
consider
estimate
expect
guess
infer
presume
speculate
suspect
think
understand
ascertain
conjecture
deduce
deem
divine
fancy
find
gather
hypothesise
imagine
judge
posit
postulate
predicate
presuppose
suppose
surmise
theorise
be afraid
be inclined to think
count upon
fall for
get the idea
have a hunch
have sneaking suspicion
When I read though this list, it got me thinking about how ASSUMING is not just about missing something, or not checking if something has indeed taken place, it can also be a reason why we DON’T TAKE ACTION.
Think about it for a minute, if you assume you KNOW the outcome of say, a particular course of action, it might be enough to discourage you from even trying. Your internal inner dialogue might go like this…
“It won’t work”, or
“I’m not good enough to make a success of this”, or
“People aren’t going to buy it anyway.”
This might be an assumption based on nothing more then self-doubt, but if you just assume you can’t do it, or assume it won’t work out, you aren’t likely to take the necessary steps to find out.
Stop ASSUMING, it’s a motivation killer. The only way you can know for sure is by giving it a go.
Get Results: why do people not take action when others do
Without the motivation to get off your ass and take action, nothing is possible. Taking action is where all progress happens. It is where you will “learn” as well as “do”.
All action and inaction is driven by motivation, which is made up of two opposing forces. One that wants us to be more, to have more, to be better. The other wants to keep us safe, psychologically and physically. They fight over everything we set out to do, and each battle can have only one winner. We need to give ourselves more of a reason to act than not, if we are to chase down our goals. We must NEED or WANT enough, so that staying safe is not enough.
After forcing the initial effort needed, habit comes to help us carry it on. Once you learn to master this initiation phase, the world is your playground.
Learn from TAKING ACTION
The feedback you get from doing is where all your education lies. Don’t be scared of testing boundaries, see what works and what doesn’t. Go about your actions with purpose and in a systematic manner so you can keep track of successes and failures.
Overcome fear of failure
If you fear failure, then you have to be prepared to undergo something of a mind shift. Redefine what failure means to you. Failure can only occur if you throw in the towel, if you are using it to navigate the path to your goal, it just becomes part of the process.
Think of it like finding your way out of a maze. Having a reliable map is great, but not always possible, so in the absence of such a map you might have go down a few dead ends and participating in a little trial and error is as effective as anything else, in such situations.
The three groups of people
Now some people are happy to take action, they have found a purpose that they are enthusiastic to pursue. They wake up excited at what lies ahead of them. Motivation is not an issue for these people. Sure, they might be somewhat fearful of the unknown but they find not taking action much more scary. Their fear of inaction outweighs their fear of action, hands down.
The next group of people, find they have their backs to the wall, they have to take action because of necessity. They might be facing financial or social pressures that are threatening to ruin them, or they might have reached the end of their tether, and just can’t take their present situation any longer. If they stay put, they are finished, emotionally, financial or in some other way. Again taking action is far less risky then not, at this point.
The third group of people are the least likely to be motivated to take action. They might have a burning desire to do something, a dream they want to fulfil, but their fear of change, of the unknown, of the possible risk that might, could possibly be waiting for them further down the road, is too great to take a chance. They might not be 100% content with their present situation, they might even be unhappy with it, but it feels safer or more comfortable to maintain the status quo.
So how do you find enough motivation to initiate action. Well first understand that like pushing a car from a standing start, the hardest bit is starting. Once you build up some momentum, a little thing called inertia takes over. Inertia is where the very act of movement helps propel you forward, requiring less and less effort from you. Inertia comes through the habits and rituals that you do daily. They might be small in nature but doing them daily, means you are using less conscious effort, just to take the action, you just do it, cause it’s what you always do.
It gets easier
So knowing that the first day of a new you is going to be the hardest, but give it a couple of weeks, you will have a new routine that kind of, takes care of itself, without you having to force yourself. If you still have to force yourself at that point, maybe it’s not for you. It’s important to have some self awareness of what you like and don’t like and why, check out my piece on self awareness for more information.
Move from indifference to WANT or NEED
Well going back to our groups of people, those that WANT enough to take action, those that NEED to take action, and the third group, these I call INDIFFERENT to taking action. The INDIFFERENT group as highlighted previously, are the least likely to act, because their fear of taking action is stronger than their fear of not taking action. So, if you’re in this group and are wondering how you find enough motivation to move you towards your goal, you have to push your mindset into either the WANT or NEED groups.
One of the best ways to increasing your WANTING, is by setting yourself goals.
Without a goal to aim for, you will lack direction, and it becomes difficult to effectively gauge if you are doing the right thing at any given moment. With a goal, you can develop a plan of action for achieving your goal and feel that you have a sense of purpose in the pursuit of it.
One of the masters of goal setting Zig Ziglar, outlined a seven step process for effective goal setting:
Identify exactly what you want and write them down
Spell out why you want to reach goals
List obstacles to overcome to get there
Identify the people, the groups and the organisation you need to work with in order to get there
Identify what you need to know to reach your goal
Develop a plan of action to reach your goal
Put a date on when you expect to get there
On the other hand, manoeuvring yourself into a NEED state is for sure, a more high risk option, and not one that I would personally recommend. It includes things like leaving a regular day job that you might hate, to build your dream business, so that you have to make it work, or sink. I would prefer to work in the evenings to test the idea and build it to a point where it becomes less of a risk, but taking this all-or-nothing approach remains an option that some choose to take.
Over to you
You should try to find a purpose that pulls you towards it, rather than you having to push yourself to do it. Alternatively you have to cut your options so that you “HAVE to” take action, and give yourself no other choice.
One thing is for certain, if you stay in a state of INDIFFERENCE, you’re unlikely to take the necessary actions to leave your present situation. “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.”
Now I’ve given you some pointers, the details of how you go about it, are unique to you and your circumstances. Good luck. Please sign up to our mailing list if you want more tailor-made content, and share this article with your friends and family if you found it useful.
For more about motivational influences, check out our Motivation guide.
If you would like to read more articles focused on INITIATING MOMENTUM, click here.
Gary Vaynerchuk recently did a video talking about the importance of figuring out who you are. Check it out below.
He’s right, without a solid grasp of knowing what you’re about, life can feel somewhat pointless. I don’t mean in the sense of what’s the point in living, but rather, knowing what you should be doing, and where you should be heading.
Those we look up to
We look up to people that have found their niche, who seem to be living the dream. They love what they do, and can’t get enough of it. Productivity is at an all time high, because they are consumed by their passion 247.
No clue
I am aware there are a lot of people, particularly those leaving school, who haven’t got a clue where their destiny lies, and frankly, how could they? Without gaining some practical experience, how can you know what you like and don’t like. You may romanticise certain professions, but until you’re doing it as an occupation, there’s no way of knowing if it’s for you.
Hobbies don’t always make good occupations
All occupations have their downside, and it’s often very different doing something for a living, to earn an income, than it is when you’re doing something as an hobby. There is a certain level of pressure, a certain degree of “have to” and deadlines to consider. This is often enough to take the fun out of it for many. So don’t fall into the trap of thinking every hobby will translate into a good occupation.
The hard bit
So back to Gary, he says “Punt everything else and go all-in. The best blue print for your success, is to look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself “What’s the purest form of who I am?“, then build a thing around that.”
So that’s the easy part, recognising you have to start by figuring yourself out. The hard part is actually doing so.
Self awareness is a key step in the process of building a life you love to live. It’s not just knowing what you like and don’t like but figuring out what you’re good and not so good at. This part is difficult and requires some soul searching. None of us like to admit we’re not so good, or even bad at things, particularly if we like to do that thing. If we don’t care about it, there’s no problem, if we care about it, or have invested time and effort into it and are still not very good at it, then there’s a problem.
We’ve all seen the Xfactor contestants that can’t hold a note, but have fooled themselves into thinking they’re the next big thing.
How to improve Self Awareness
Take a long hard look at yourself, be completely honest, ask for a honest second opinion from someone who’ll tell you the truth. Family and friends are usually not good for this, they just don’t want to upset you.
Putting your work out into the market, and seeing if people are willing to buy your stuff is probably the best gauge of the standard and desirability of your talent or lack of. I use a few methods like PPC adverts or Facebook adverts, which are great for fast, inexpensive feedback, but you need to know what you’re doing before burning through your money, if you go down this route. Drop me an email if you want some help with this at info@getresults.org.uk.
Now be warned you have to ensure you have not invested too much of yourself in whatever you are shining a light on, otherwise a knock back can be hard on your self esteem. Don’t let it be, take it as a positive, it’s informing you, it’s being honest with you and allowing you to find a more fruitful path, and preventing you from wasting our most important resource TIME.
To uncover your own interests, tendencies…
Look at what you spend your time actually doing,
What you like to read about,
What websites you visit and are interested in,
What TV programs you spend your time watching,
What you find yourself doing when on holiday or during leisure periods
Ask others that are close to you, what they think you like and don’t like, this can be very enlightening sometimes
And then ask “why?”. What is it about these things/activities that you enjoy, is there a common thread that runs through them. Sometimes identifying what you don’t like or even hate, helps to focus you on what you do like, so build a list of these as well.
It’s a journey of self discovery. Don’t try to fool yourself, be honest. For those that have a negative perspective of themselves already, which are usually as disproportionate as those that have overly positive perspectives, also look for a reality check, as others will not judge you as harshly as you judge yourself. So allow more positivity through if merited.
That’s it, you’ve got to do the rest for yourself. Use those around as well, in the ways discussed above. Enjoy the process, and don’t be too frustrated if it takes a little time. I often find once you have made your mind up to make a start, your unconscious mind springs into action and will gently help inform you, but you can’t push it to do so.
A strong work ethic is part of an individual’s personal values. It’s based in a belief of the value of work for its own sake and not just for its rewards, however rewards are often the main driver for putting in the effort for many people.
Modern descriptions include, hustle and grind, which for me have negative connotations. I don’t want to live a life of grind, do you?
If you love what you do, you’re more likely to be pulled towards it, rather than pushed to do it. This is the ideal, something surely worth striving for. When you love what you do, it doesn’t feel like work, you’d do it without monetary compensation.
However, even if you’re doing what you love, there will be times when you have to do certain things or tasks you don’t particularly like or relish. You have to be prepared to do what it takes to get to the other side of whatever that thing is. You have to have plenty of willpower to motivate you to do the difficult things. Willpower is finite, it runs out throughout the day as you use it up, but recharges when you sleep, so get into the habit of doing the difficult things first thing in your day, when it’s fully charged.
In this sense, work ethic is important. You’ve got to be a doer, a get your head down and get it done, type of person. I’m not sure if it’s an attribute that’s naturally built into some people, but I know it’s certainly not in some individuals.
I suspect that it’s something you are conditioned into either by your parents or guardians as you grow up.
Get Results: work ethic
It’s no good just being an ideas person, without the motivation to do the necessary actions to make it a reality. Much of the learning comes from “doing”, without which you’re never going to be anything more than you already are. Jim Rohn says “If you want to have more than you’ve got, you’ve got to be more than you are.”
Having a strong work ethic will ensure you’re putting in the time, but without a strong sense of direction and a focused plan, you’re going to be like a directionless piece of driftwood, being pushed and pulled by the tides of circumstance.
Get Results: work ethic
Time spent doing something isn’t enough for you to make progress, you have to focus on the important things, the things which will ensure your progress. Don’t brag you’ve spent 3 hours in the gym, where you’ve spent most of that time chatting or reading the paper. If you go to a gym, you must know someone that seems to be there all the time, without doing a ounce of noticeable exercise. Don’t let that be you. Put in the work when you should be doing it.
Get Results: work ethic
Gary Vaynerchuk is a big advocate of having a strong work ethic, he brags about hustling 18 hours a day. He loves it, and doesn’t see it as a grind for him. He is right when he says, if you’re moaning you’re not where you want to be, or you don’t have what you want, then get off your arse and put in more time. Extra time fixes all vulnerabilities. If you don’t like your day job, maybe start an online side business and work on building it after work and evenings, late into the night if you need to, rather than wasting time watching the television. That will give you an extra 4 – 5 hours per day, if you really want it enough. Most people don’t have that level of dedication.
However you must be careful not to burn yourself out. Pushing work ethic too far can actually reduce productivity, and make your work become a real chore. It can also have a disastrous effect on family life, so don’t let it get out of hand.
For more about motivational influences, check out our Motivation guide.
If you would like to read more articles focused on WORK ETHIC, click here.
Strong work ethic quotes
“The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses – behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.” – Muhammad Ali
“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.” – Albert Einstein
“Let us rather run the risk of wearing out than rusting out.” – Theodore Roosevelt
“Think not of yourself as the architect of your career but as the sculptor. Expect to have to do a lot of hard hammering and chiseling and scraping and polishing.” – B.C. Forbes
“Sheer effort enables those with nothing to surpass those with priviledge and position.” – Toyotomi Hideyoshi
“If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it would not seem so wonderful at all.” – Michelangelo
“The average person puts only 25% of his energy and ability into his work.” – Andrew Carnegie
“Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.” – Napoleon Hill
“Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better is best.” – Tim Duncan
“The highest compliment that you can pay me is to say that I work hard every day, that I never dog it.” – Wayne Gretzky
“Talent is never enough. With few exceptions the best players are the hardest workers.” – Magic Johnson
“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” – Abraham Lincoln
“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’” – Muhammad Ali
“I’ve always worked very, very hard, and the harder I worked, the luckier I got.” – Alan Bond
“You can map out a fight plan or a life plan, but when the action starts, it may not go the way you planned, and you’re down to your reflexes – your training. That’s where your roadwork shows. If you cheated on that in the dark of morning, you’re getting found out now, under the bright lights.” – Joe Frazier
“Every time you stay out late; every time you sleep in; every time you miss a workout; every time you don’t give 100% – You make it that much easier for me to beat you.” – Unknown
“Nothing worth having comes easy.”
“All roads that lead to success have to pass through hard work boulevard at some point.”
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage work ethic.”
“Success requires action and a strong work ethic.”
“Work like there is someone working twenty four hours a day to take it away from you.” – Mark Cuban
“People are born with brains, talent, and/or money, but work ethic levels the playing field.”
“Be humble, be hungry, and always be the hardest worker in the room.”
“If you build a house with your work ethic, dedication and preparation, would you trust it’s foundation enough to live in it.”
“Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged people who kept on working.”
“Do what is right, not what is easy.”
“I don’t have a good work ethic, I have a real casual relationship with hours.” – Janeane Garofalo
“The only way to do great work is to love the work you do.”
“No shortcuts, work for it.”
“Dreams don’t work unless you do.”
“Hard work beats talent, when talent fails to work hard.”
“Don’t be upset by the results you didn’t get with the work you didn’t do.”
“Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.”
“Wisdom is knowing the right path to take…Integrity is taking it.”
“Dreams are worthless if you’re not prepared to do the necessary work to realise them.”
“The harder you work the luckier you get.”
“Work hard and become a leader, be lazy and become a slave.”
“You’ve got what it takes, but it might take everything you’ve got.”
“Having a strong work ethic comes easily when you’re being pulled rather than pushed towards your goal.” – getrsesults.org.uk
Have you ever wondered why quotation graphics are so popular on social media channels? Maybe it’s because they allow us to shift our perspective to some degree. To look at an issue or subject from a different viewpoint. When we see a quote that says something like:
“People aren’t against you, they are for themselves”
It brings a different dimension to our thinking. We maybe get a glimpse of a different way of perceiving. I personally don’t think that’s a bad thing. We should continually question our assumptions, beliefs and values. After all where do they originate? Are they our thoughts or those of other people, that have influenced us in some way?
Our thoughts largely come from the world around us, our experiences shape them. We use our experiences to construct a framework of understanding, so that we feel safe to navigate through life. We emotionally buy into the concepts we are drawn to, and look for confirmation our view is accurate, often ignoring counter arguments.
Get Results: success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get
Over to Tony Robbins
I recently watched a couple of Tony Robbins interventions, in which he was attempting to help people in psychological pain. Much of this approach involved psychologically re-framing the painful situation, into a more empowering one.
For instance there was a mother and daughter, who deeply loved one another, but greatly clashed in many of their day to day interactions. The mother had lost another daughter, some years before. That daughter had been the perfect daughter from the mother’s point of view, someone she got along with very easily, they just seemed to be perfect company for one another.
The mother, found the character of the second daughter to be more problematic, describing her as highly strung, and a control freak, basically finding her difficult to be around, partly because of the mothers own shortcomings.
The mother admitted she was much at fault for their problems, described herself as being badly organised, often late for appointments, which completely drove the second daughter crazy with rage.
So although the two loved one another, both found it difficult to spend time with each other, and rubbed each other up the wrong way. Tony uncovered through questioning the two ladies, that the second daughter had felt rejected by the mother because she wasn’t the model daughter her sister had been. She felt guilty she was the way she was, and hated herself for the fact she loved her mother so much and didn’t feel she could live up to her sisters standards, and that her mother didn’t love her back in the same way as she had her sister.
Get Results: if you can’t change your circumstances, change your perspective
The mother missed the easy going daughter, and felt some regret that the second daughter wasn’t easier to get on with. Tony explained that as life doesn’t happen to us but rather for us, and the second daughter was in fact the very thing the mother needed in her life, and that she should appreciate her second daughter for what she could learn from her to be a better person. That intervention drastically re-framed the relationship in both mother and daughters minds, and they gained a great appreciation for one another after the intervention. The mother realised her daughters anger actually came from a place of deep love. The daughter realised her mother was mainly angry about her own shortcomings, and inability to match the daughters strict standards.
This is a great example of shifting perspective. Stop fixating on the negatives and start focusing on the positives.
Getting outside help
I think sometimes we need the intervention of a third party to help us see through difficult emotions and give us permission to believe in a positive re-framing of a situation. We don’t always believe in something until we hear it from someone else that maybe isn’t directly part of that situation. Maybe this is why many find comfort visiting counsellors or therapists.
Being your own third party
I sometimes like to think about how I would advise someone else going through something I am having difficulty with, it seems to help me change perspective and see it as a non-involved party. Most of us are good at giving advice to others, but struggle when we find ourselves directly involved. Emotions are usually the reason why this is the case.
Give yourself some space to take a more objective view, instead of letting the emotions rule your thoughts.
For more about motivational influences, check out our Motivation guide.
If you would like to read more articles focused on SHIFTING PERSPECTIVE, click here.
Get Results: shift in perspective, Effort never diesGet Results: shift in perspective, First attempt in learningGet Results: shift in perspective, next opportunity
Change Perspective Quotes
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” – Dr Wayne Dyer
“Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.”
“You have the capacity to change your life all with a simple shift in perspective.” – Demi Lovato
It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.”
“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” – Seth Godin
“You give meaning to your experiences, change the meaning and you change the experience.”
“Change your thinking change your life.”
“Whether a glass is half full or is half empty is nothing to do with the glass or its contents, but rather the story you choose to tell yourself about it. Changing the story changes your perspective.”
“People come into your life as either a blessing or a lesson.”
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” – Seneca
“Everything we hear is an opinion not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective not the truth.”
“People rely on stories they believe about themselves. You can change your story.”
“Life is a test, tests show what you’re made of, if you let it defeat you, then it will, if you want it to teach you, it will.” – getresults.org.uk
“The things you really need are few and easy to come by: but the things you can imagine you need are infinite and you will never be satisfied.” – Epicurus
There’s two types of knowledge you can have, the first is knowledge that’s wide and shallow, like general knowledge. The person with this type of knowledge, knows a reasonable amount about a lot of things. They might include diverse topics or be more closely related, something like the knowledge held by a GP doctor is an example of this type of knowledge set.
Then there’s knowledge that’s narrow and deep. This is specialist knowledge that is obtained by studying a specific topic for many years. These people might not know much else other than their area of expertise. And given enough knowledge about a particular subject, this is were expertise resides.
There are arguments for gaining both types of knowledge. Business owners, particularly small business owners are usually better with a reasonable knowledge about a lot of business related functions. They can, after all employ experts to do particular functions that require more specialised knowledge.
You could argue that running a business is a specific skill in itself and can be developed into expertise, but I guess it’s all relative. You have a finite amount of time to learn an infinite amount of possible things. The fun, I guess is deciding what best fits in with your long term plans.
If you want to be a business person, you need to learn what’s needed to be a successful business person, and focus on that until you’re as good as you can be. Maybe learning to be a good recruiter (of labour and freelancers) is more valuable than acquiring the knowledge to be able to do those particular functions yourself.
Should you spend your limited time, acquiring the knowledge for implementing an effective marketing strategy, understanding the principles that drive human psychology, so you know an effective advert and offer when you see one. Or should you spend your time gathering the knowledge and perfecting the skill to be able to create great visuals for your adverts, and write amazingly persuasive copy that entices your audience to your offer, for yourself, so you can be self sufficient.
These are the kind of choices you need to make in your pursuit of knowledge. It all depends on what you’re trying to achieve, I guess. It’s all about prioritising, which is dependant on what you’re trying to achieve as part of your end game (goal).
Life is full of ups and downs. Some things we can influence, others not so much. Many situations will be made up of winners and losers. It’s just the way life rolls.
You might not always be able to dictate the terms of your life, but the one thing you have complete control over is how you deal with the ebbs and flows.
You can either position yourself psychologically as a victor or a victim.
Victim
The blame game
Victim mentality looks for other people or other things to blame for failure. They blame their circumstances, their lack of support, resources, money, time, know-how, their boss, they just blame. Blame helps to make the individual feel better, because it wasn’t their fault. One of the hardest things to admit is your own inadequacies. It’s really hard to look yourself in the mirror and admit you messed up at some point. Your Ego would rather cover up your shortcomings and have you believe the blame is over there, somewhere else.
Excuses are useless
Victim mentality is quick to find excuses for why things didn’t fall right for you, or didn’t work out the way you wanted, and for the same reason as pointed out when discussing “blame”, it’s just easier to do.
Denial is delusion
Denial is another self preservation tactic. Burying your head in the sand and hoping it goes away is a form of self delusion, failing to admit the reality of the situation is another.
Victim mentality is aimed at self protection, it’s a defensive tactic aimed at cushioning the blow. If you admit you were wrong your subconscious sees this as a big deal, cause if your wrong in a life or death situation, you could be toast. Your mind, doesn’t want to admit this could be the case, cause that’s what the minds there to do, keep you safe. It’s better to delude yourself, that way you can move on more quickly and try to forget about the whole sorry episode.
It’s easier to blame, excuse or deny, rather than have to look deeper into where the mistakes really lay, so laziness is part of the problem when it comes to a lack of self-analysis.
Live to be a Victor
If you take a Victor mentality, you empower yourself to really look at what went wrong and why. You might not be a victor of the situation, in that you haven’t won in absolute terms, in fact you’re likely to have lost. But by taking a victor mentality, you can at least learn any lessons that are there to learn.
Negative situations are inevitable at some time in your life. S**t happens, but feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t really serve over a prolonged period. Feel the grief of loss, feel the hurt, sure you should always face it full on and deal with it, but then learn what needs to be learned and move forward. Don’t hold on to the past negativity, just take the lessons forward with you.
Unless it’s a real life and death situation, most things are not that important in the great scheme of things. Money can be earned again, stuff can be replaced. “People”, and “Time are the two things worthy of real grief, and while they are beyond the scope of this article, even they should not be seen as a dead-end that can not be moved beyond. They surely can, with the right “victor” mentality.
The law of opposites says there are always positives in any negative, if you look hard enough and approach from an empowered perspective. Take ownership and responsibility. It’s your job, nobody else’s. Sure use the support of those closest to you to help you through emotionally, but don’t expect them to provide the answers for you, the solutions are within you, they are there, if you open to them.
So instead of playing the victim, blaming, excusing and denying, take ownership, take responsibility and be accountable for the situations you find yourself in, and use them as your strength for improvement and progress.
When people say they can’t do something because they don’t have the time, don’t know enough, lack experience, lack money, support, or don’t have the right manager etc what they are really saying is they don’t have the necessary resources. In truth, what they really lack is resourcefulness. They lack the resourcefulness to find a way to get where they want to go in spite of the obstacles and difficulties that stand in their way.
Resourcefulness is the ability to overcome challenges by creatively finding ways to make progress in spite of challenges. It means solving problems with the resources you have at your disposal, making the best of what you have and doing more with less.
Take responsibility
In order to put yourself in the right frame of mind, you should take full responsibility for finding a solution. If you pass responsibility to someone else, you also pass the power to do something about it. You then find you’re waiting around for them to come up with answers and you’re inevitably likely to be disappointed. Even if they do come through for you, relying on someone else to find the answers for you means that you’re not developing your own “resourcefulness”.
The more you practice being resourceful, the better you’ll get at it. It’s a skill, that improves the more you use it. So take ownership of it and start to build a new, and very worthwhile skill. People are paid a lot of money for being resourceful, think trouble-shooters and business turn-around managers. It’s a highly demanded commercial skill, as well as an invaluable skill for your own life.
Be Proactive
Be on the front foot, rather than waiting for things to drop in your lap. This relates to taking responsibility (covered above). When you’re actively taking the initiative, you’ll be surprised how ideas and solutions come to you.
Be creative
Creativity requires you to be open minded and able to stand back and see things from a different perspective. Use your strengths, abilities, knowledge, tools, networks and other resources to approach and tackle the situation from a variety of angles, such as using unconventional approaches and/or reapplying other experience, to the present situation. Using a variety of problems solving techniques such as brainstorming may also help, check some out here.
Be Driven
When you’re inspired to see things through, you’ll find a way. Drive carries with it the courage, passion, commitment, persistence, determination and tenacity that you’ll need to overcome difficult challenges. If it has been done before, it can be done again.
Use your Connections
We can’t be expected to know it all, and that’s were other people can help. Use your existing connections for assistance, such as friends, family and colleagues, ask them for help and advice, you might be surprised what hidden connections, skills and resources people you thought you knew, might have. Also try to forge new connections where possible, sometimes reaching out to strangers can be surprisingly productive.
Summary
Improving your results comes down to many factors including the acquisition of knowledge, being motivated enough to power through any challenges you inevitably meet on your journey and being super productive, so that you’re doing the important things to ensure you get where you want to be. A big part of motivation and productivity is being resourceful. Without resourcefulness, you’re likely to be defeated by the the inevitable obstacles and challenges that come your way. However if you can harness your resourcefulness, you can overcome most anything. First take responsibility, then look for creative approaches to problem solving. Be proactive and driven to get the job done to a positive conclusion.
I’ll finish this article off with an example from my own experience using resourcefulness. When I was in the process of needing a new car, some years ago, I discovered that personal loans were running at 12% APR and for the car I wanted, the monthly repayments would be running at £250 a month, which at the time, was too much for me. So I looked around for alternatives.
I discovered a credit card that had 5.6% APR for the life of the balance, which was applicable for balance transfers only. The only problem was, I could only enjoy the deal if I purchased the car on another card, then transferred it to the 5.6% card.
None of my other cards had a big enough credit limit to buy the car on. So I explained the situation to a good friend of mine who offered to buy the car on their card. I checked, and it was okay to transfer off his card, so that’s what I did.
I then used the 5.6% balance card like a loan and paid a set amount each month, paying just £150, which was more within my means at the time. After a few years I transferred the remaining balance onto an interest free for 2 years card, until it was fully paid. In doing it this way, I saved massively on the amount of interest I paid, I managed to pay a monthly amount that I could afford, and I used credit in a positive way.
I hope this article has shed some light on resourcefulness for you. Please share it with your friends and family if you have found it informative.
For more about motivational influences, check out our Motivation guide.
Are you frustrated that you’re not getting the results you want?
Are you working hard producing content but nobody’s paying attention? Are you wanting to get out of the nine to five rat race and liberate yourself with a location independent online business, but just can’t get any traction?
This article is based around “getting results” from an internet business perspective, but many of the points can apply to such diverse goals as losing weight and becoming wealthy.
You’re not getting the results you want because of one or more of the following:
You have no defined goal – you don’t know what you want, in this circumstance you need to decide on a clear goal.
You’re doing something wrong but you don’t know it’s wrong (assuming you wouldn’t knowingly be doing something wrong). If you’re not getting the results you strive for then you can be sure something is missing, something in your understanding. You need to find what this is to make any further progress.
You don’t know what to do or how to do something that is important, you may not even know you need to know or do it. This is a difficult one but ideally you want to look to role models – people who have trodden your path before you and got the results you are looking for.
You’re knowingly not doing something that’s important, Got to take action here, simple as.
or a combination of some these.
There are two components required to getting the results you want these are:
knowing what to do
Doing what needs to be done
Looking for relevant information to help you
If you don’t know what to do to get the results you’re looking for, it will be nothing more than a matter of luck if you achieve them. If you’re looking for online success you need to know the options open to you and the best practices in doing them in an effective manner. So for instance, if you’re at the start of your online journey, some of the options open to you are:
Affiliate Marketing
Running an eCommerce store selling physical products
Blogging free information (monetise with ads)
Running an Amazon store
So lets take affiliate marketing as an example. If you want to know how to go about getting results as an affiliate marketer you can search for a book on the subject, check out any reviews about it and buy. The problem with books on the subject of affiliate marketing is they quickly go out of date. The internet is evolving at such a pace, printed books can be old hat as soon as they hit the shelves, this is why self published kindle books or ebooks are very popular because they contain more timely information.
Alternatively you can start searching the major search engines for “becoming an affiliate marketer”, or similar searches. Then you have to start sifting through the vast amount of results which come in the form of blog posts, video tutorials, podcasts etc. In fact I have just done such a search and found nearly 300,000 results.
The explosion of the internet has resulted in us having access to unparalleled amounts of information about any topic we turn our attention to. The problem with this situation is not all the information has been created equal. Some of it contains gold nuggets while some of it can only be described as mis-information and trash.
If marketers are motivated to get you to buy their latest product, they will frame the information in such a way as to encourage you to buy that product rather than giving you balance or accurate information.
But let’s be fair, you ain’t ever going to go through all of these 300,000 results, probably just a few on the first page. So lets look at the criteria you need to use to find the golden nuggets of information that will help you get the results you are looking for.
First thing is to make sure you are only taking advice from people that know what they’re talking about. Look at the business models, systems, and habits and relationships they use and try them out yourself. It isn’t guaranteed you will get the same results they have, but until you try them out you will never know. Look at what they sell, how they sell it, who they sell it to, how they find their customers, how they drive traffic to their sales funnel etc. Then try to use their system as the basis for of your own. Don’t just duplicate them, but try to understand why they do what they do and use this as a guide. Check out a few models and see what they have in common. This will most certainly help you understand the process more clearly.
With affiliate marketing specifically you need to find a product to sell, ideally one you use yourself, that you like, find valuable and would be happy to recommend to someone else, then offer it to your audience. Find your own angle, don’t just blindly follow others, but think about what value you can bring to your audience and build a brand around this point of difference..
Get to know the right people
It’s not always about what you know, often who you know can help move mountains. So whatever area you want to get results in, look for people in the know, the influencer’s, and the thought leaders. Join relevant network groups, Facebook groups, and forums and get involved in the conversations and make contacts. If you aren’t getting results and are already in some groups and forums, leave and join others. Check out other blogs, listen to different podcasts, read more books. If you’re not already getting the results, then make a change, but don’t give up.
Make sure you have set yourself a Goal(s)
If you want to get results you need to start with a goal in mind, otherwise how do you know if you’re making progress. If you’re not heading somewhere specific then you’re like a rudderless boat, at the mercy of the tide.
Make your goals big and specific, check out my post all about goal setting for more information on the topic. In a nutshell. Have smaller goals which lead to your bigger overall goal, lined up like domino’s. Smaller goals can be daily, weekly, monthly. Keep your overall goal in mind at all times, and don’t be scared of thinking too big. Ask yourself, “If I couldn’t fail what would I want to do”. It’s okay to have big goals, but be realistic about how difficult they are going to be to achieve, don’t let the difficulty aspect de-motivate you. Use your success in the smaller goals to build momentum towards your overall goal.
Have a sound plan and take action
Your plan is “how” you get the results you want. It’s how you get to achieve your goal. When you’re formulating your plan you need to think about what gets done and when. Start with a basic framework and fill in the details. I find it easier to start with my goal and work backwards to the present time. A simple reverse framework might look like this:
Sell £x worth of X product
Email sequence – demonstrate the value I can bring and allow visitors to get to know me before I try to sell them something. To sell £x of product I need Y number of email subscribers
Lead Magnet in exchange for opt-in
Lead Generation – my customers spend most time on Facebook so use Facebook ads to get leads. It’s important to think about who your customers are, and how to best reach them.
Remember this is currently in reverse order because I find it easier to think things through in this way, but do what works best for you. I’m not going too much into the details about planning in this article, I just wanted to mention a few points and to stress the importance of actually making one, which I’ve now done.
If you find you’re not following your plan then find out why. If you’re:
procrastination
burying head in the sand/denial/ignoring/making excuses/keeping busy doing something else and justifying it
doubting your own ability
being indecisive
feeling overwhelmed
or anxious – perceived imbalance of “ability” and “necessary requirements/skills”
these are usually a manifestation of some fear you have
Avoiding fear of…
Failure
Ask “what’s the worst that could happen?” you’ll realise the consequences of failure are not as scary as you might have first thought. Each failure is a learning experience, and with each failure we take out another obstacle. Ask yourself “What would I do if I could not fail for next 24 hours.” This will help you focus on what needs doing immediately to achieve your goal(s) with the fear of failure removed.
You can not fail until you give up. “Winners never quit and a quitters never win”. Winning often follows losing, remember everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die. For winners, losing inspires them, for losers, losing defeats them, winning means being unafraid to lose.
Don’t let failure put you off, failure is a great teacher and helps you become more focused on what is needed. Your plan is the journey that you intend to take to reach your destination, and sometimes your way might be blocked, but reassess your options and take a detour. Just make sure you don’t forget that you need to get back on track at the earliest opportunity.
Don’t fear:
Rejection – if others say “no thanks” they are rejecting your proposal not you personally and are just protecting themselves. You need to convince them of your reliability and trustworthiness. “Profit from criticism”
Disappointment – each hurdle is a step closer to the finishing line, learn from each disappointment, change your mindset and learn from any disappointment.
Doing the important things productively
When you’re taking action, make sure you are doing the important high value tasks rather than keeping busy shuffling paper around your desk. It’s not about working hard or slaving away for long hours, its about working smart and effectively and making your work matter. You should make doing the important things a priority and doing them in a productive manner. In his book “The One Thing” Gary Keller advocates living with:
Purpose (determines who we are. It sets our priorities.)
Priority is our focus
Productivity are our actions
If you align your purpose (goal), your priority and productivity should easily fall into place, and motivation should be easy, because you’re doing something that really matters to you.
Get an accountability buddy
If you’re finding it difficult to maintain motivation, then look for help from someone else as an accountability buddy. Make your progress reportable to them and have them give you honest feedback and push you to hit your deadlines.
Avoid Distractions and Temptation
Many people love social platforms, but they can be a real “time drain”. Enticing headlines can easily encourage you away from the task-in-hand and off at tangents, usually on to pointless trivia sites, if you’re anything like me. Avoid such distractions, generally avoid anywhere where you will be distracted, they are killing your productivity.
Temptation is another goal killer, particularly with regards to weight loss and dieting. The same applies here, avoid being in situations and places were temptations exist, unless you have an incredible amount of will-power, and most of us just don’t.
It doesn’t have to be perfect
If you’re bringing a product to market then the best thing to do is get it out into the marketplace. It doesn’t have to be perfect, get the minimal viable product out there and use customer feedback to help you improve it. That way it evolves into what the customer wants and is likely to be more successful in the long term.
Taking Risks
We have come to something that is greatly variable from person to person and is heavily dependant on financial circumstances and pre-disposed tolerance to risk. The bottom line is every new action you take has some element of risk connected to it. You’re moving from the known to the unknown and usually outside your comfort zone, which feels scary.
However to get more in life you need to grow, and to grow, you need to do new things that you haven’t done or tried before. Self-belief is also a big component of risk taking. If you feel you have the skills necessary, you are more likely to take action. Fear will hold you back, re-read the section about fear, above.
Risk taking requires a mind-shift, and unless you make it, you will find yourself stuck in the same situation. However don’t be reckless. Don’t invest thousands of pounds in something that you know nothing about. Any idiot can lose money. Build up your knowledge first and only take calculated risks. (“Risk benefit analysis” is a useful tool for this).
Embrace Change
Taking risk feeds directly into the ability to accept change. Being open to new experiences or new ways of doing things is a crucial skill in a rapidly changing world. If you fail to adapt you will almost certainly get left behind. The days of learning a skill that would see you through to retirement has long gone, think of the steel industry, and mining industry to name just two. Whole towns lay derelict in the USA as testimony to the necessity to accept change as a part of life. Aim for skills that will always be needed, such as the skill of “selling”, businesses will always need to sell products and to employ people that are good at it.
Learn and never stop learning, be a master of what you know and an apprentice of what you don’t know. Don’t be satisfied with doing things the best you can do them, but the best that they can be done. We talked about it earlier, but use role models, and the systems, models, habits and relationships they have developed to get their results.
Additional Points
Just a few additional points to consider:
Have drive, be consistent and adopt good habits, if you think you lack the mental strength to lead others, then you will need to toughen up.
Don’t use failure as an excuse to fail bigger, be critical of yourself and strive for better results.
keep it simple, if you don’t understanding it you can’t control it,
Never give up, persevere and do whatever it takes.
Summary
You’re not getting the results you want because:
You have no defined goal – you don’t know what you want,
You’re doing something wrong but you don’t know it’s wrong,
You don’t know what to do or how to do something that is important, you may not even know you need to know or do it,
You’re knowingly not doing something that’s important,
or a combination of some these.
You must:
know what to do
Do what needs to be done
Sounds simple when it’s put like this but of course the devil is in the detail. However I am all for simplifying complex issues wherever possible. It allows me to go back to basics and helps me understand the underlying key issues with all the surrounding noise removed. This structure of analysis can be used for all goals, such as losing weight, getting fit, earning more money, finding success online, or in your career.
Hopefully you have found this article of use, if so, please share it with your friends, family and colleagues.
This is a piece I posted in 2015 on a different website, I thought I would include it here. I lost 3 stone within a few months, and continue to maintain the same weight today, so I consider that a success.
Originally posted 18th June 2015
Are you feeling frustrated that you’re not getting the results you crave? Disappointed with your poor results? Ongoing failure can lead to chronic anger, where you become difficult to be around in other areas of your life, snapping at others for the least thing. Often this state of being causes many to give up with a deep feeling of failure remaining in the background of their mind.
Wouldn’t life be so much better if you could take control of your destiny, without feelings and other things getting in your way. We all want to be high achievers, successful and consistently able to get results even if we fool ourselves into thinking otherwise.
Knowledge
I recently decided to lose weight and knew that a combination of exercise and diet would be critically important. knowing what I should be eating, and when, as well as knowing the best type of exercise to be most effective for my weight loss being key to success. I want to lose a lot of weight in fact. I’m currently 19 stone, which is the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life, and I’ve decided it has to go, I’m aiming to get down to 15 stone over the next 12 months or sooner if possible. Below is what I think I need to do to lose weight
Exercise
Build muscle – resistance exercise rather than cardio
High intensity exercise, with low impact on joints
Don’t sit so much at my computer and have regular breaks in between, walking around and standing more
Burn more calories than consume on a daily basis
Diet
Low calorie intake
Regular intake throughout the day rather than binge eating late at night
More calories early in day and less at night
Less snacking of fatty foods, instead fruit and veg snacks if at all
Drink less fizzy drinks and consume more water
This is only a brief overview of my plan of action based on the little bit of research I’ve done so far, I won’t bore you with the details, the important thing to know is it’s vitally important you find a good source of accurate up-to-date information to enable you to succeed in your endeavour. There is so much conflicting information out there about subjects such as weight loss, fitness, business, on-line business and the like, it can be really difficult to know for sure that you have the right information you need. Most of the time I go with the view, if it makes sense give it a go, but if I’m honest I’m forever reading and improving my knowledge bank and searching out more information. knowledge is power or the potential for power, but without action it’s useless.
Motivation
Well for me, this is a biggie particularly when considering the subject of losing weight. I don’t need to work on my motivation levels for business because it just comes easily to me, but cutting down calories and exercising are not my favourite things to do. I have an inner conflict which stops me doing what I should be doing and keeps me doing what I shouldn’t (cognitive dissonance)
What I mean by that is I eat too much fatty foods because I love the taste of it (doing what I shouldn’t be doing) and don’t do what I should be doing (eating healthier and restricting my calorie intake). This is double negative. When it comes to the exercise part of the equation, I’m just as bad, not exercising, instead sitting watching the TV or working on my laptop.
So what’s going on here. I want to do something I shouldn’t be and don’t really want to do something I should. The end result is I pile on more weight and move ever further from my goal of losing weight.
This is what’s going on in a lot of us I suspect. Lack of motivation and cognitive dissonance (inner conflict) is not just killing us but killing our chances of getting the results we crave.
There is no silver bullet I’m afraid. Gonna have to make a change mentally and physically if I wanna achieve my goal.
Get Results – Make the changes
I recently came across this quote or similar but I remember like this:
“What you do in this moment shapes all your tomorrows – make it count”
Get Results: what you do in this moment shapes all your tomorrows. make it count
It helps me to think from a “this moment perspective”. If I eat something fatty it’s not okay, cause I’m sewing the seeds of failure for all my tomorrows. It’s a zero tolerance approach. All we have is this moment, nothing else really exists, so aligning my now with what I want tomorrow is the only way to do it in my eyes and even though it’s early days…it seems to be working for me.
You might find taking a longer term view works best for you – the point is, you do what works for you and the way your mind works by default.
Alternatively you have to break bad habits and destructive thought patterns and replace with more empowering ones. This is harder to do than the previous option, requiring a great deal of “will power” but is greatly rewarding and can certainly be achieved with purpose, determination and perseverance.
The important thing is to get results, and that brings me back onto the purpose of this post, to help you get results, not just in weight loss but whatever you are trying to do.
So you’re here at the beginning – frustrated, disappointed, angry and ready to give up, right?
You want to be there (your goal) – achieving, successful, consistently getting results?
To get from here to there, you need to know:
What to do – this is the knowledge bit – What to do, How to do it, When to do it – this is all about doing your research and answering these questions. Find good sources of reliable information, study it and understand it thoroughly. Secondly
Do what needs to be done – this is mainly about motivation – doing what needs doing, and not doing what’s counter productive. This is often the hardest part of the equation. Most of us have inner conflicts where we find ourselves wanting to do something that is counter productive to our goal. Using the example I used early where I find myself enjoying eating tasty fatty foods while also wanting to lose weight. I find that changing the way I frame the situation in my mind helps, so focussing on eating well rather than the discomfort of not eating junk (re-framing the issue). Also I would suggest getting yourself an accountability buddy who will hold you to task if you don’t follow through on your plan. I am kind of doing this with you, my audience because if I haven’t lost weight within 12 months of writing this article, than you will know I have failed to practice what I preach, and with that, I’ll lose any credibility on the subject.
Fear is a big de-motivator that can trap you in your current situation and prevent you following your goals. Fear of failure, rejection, disappointment, change, embarrassment, of the unknown can all be dream killers. Often such fears manifest themselves in the excuses we give ourselves for not taking action, procrastination, buying your head in the sand, denial, avoidance, keeping busy doing other things, over-complicating situations, insisting on perfection before taking action, giving up without a fight. Facing fear head on and moving past it, although scary to think about, is often easier to overcome than our imagination would have us believe. Jim Carey said it best “Know the difference between a dog that is going to eat you in your mind, and an actual dog that is going to eat you”.
Use as much help as you can elicit from others especially people who have experience doing what you’re trying to achieve. From a knowledge perspective, consider hiring expertise where appropriate and look towards friends and family for motivation purposes to help keep you on track. Look for tools which will help you succeed with your goal, including things like phone Apps that you will have with you all the time..
Just going back to my plan of losing weight, I came up with the following list of additional things I could use/do to help me in my pursuit, should I need to:
Use fitness Apps – to keep me motivated
Listen to Audio books – to prevent boredom during repetitive workouts
Watch TV while working out doing cardio exercises (treadmill) – aimed to prevent boredom
Undertake what I consider to be enjoyable exercises such as bike riding, and 5 a side football with mates to make it more fun
Join a club and exercise with others possible down my local gym
Find an accountability buddy or exercise partner
Undertake Shorter exercise routines – high intensity in short bursts
Remember I don’t have to increase intensity if I’m just wanting to maintain fitness at a certain level
Have equipment set up all the time so there’s no time setting up and packing away, or use minimal equipment (ideas for exercises without equipment)
Investigate tasty, healthy recipe choices
Drink more water to fill stomach – avoid fizzy pop – drink flavoured water if I get fed up of plain water
Keep mind occupied to prevent snacking due to boredom in evenings
Eat health snacks – fruit or veg instead of crisps and sweets
Use recipe apps for healthy eating advice
Put X’s on calendar every time I follow plan. Don’t break the row of X’s
Read motivational quotes, watch motivational videos to help inspire me
